Gods and Demons

Scar · 12-03-2020, 01:21 AM

this will be somewhat of a prologue and character profile of a story i've been working on for a few years now. Since we can post non open mic piece, i will share with yall what i got so far.

There's a place. A place where magic and physics mix. A place not unlike the legend and mythos of old; perhaps even a source of these legends and myths. This place or rather world has no names because it exists in the realm of imagination. in this realm, demons walk the earth and mortals have abilities to influence nature and can either be destructive or save earth from destruction. In this world, energies are manipulated and gods communicate. in this world, anything is possible. Welcome to my world....

The Order Of Light

The Surpreme Beggar

Hong Chi Fa's his name. He's the leader of the beggar sect. He was once the son of a nobel family but his family was accused of a political crime was all executed saved for him and his caretaker. They lived in an old shack where beggars from the beggar sect would often visit. Over the year he became involved with the beggar sect and showed a rare talent for martial art. Before long, he was inducted into the clan and would eventually became it's leader. The sacred scroll of the beggar is the 18 dragon slaying palm. Although a very hard method to learn, he was able to mastered it by 15. From there he began to add on to the legendary style. He's able to add five VERY powerful addition to the technique: Dragon destroys ghost, dragon destroys demon, dragon destroys angels, dragon destroy gods and finally the celestial dragon. Legend stated that during one chi meditation, he was visited by the celestial dragon, a primordial energy force of the universe, that revealed to him the key to it's power...which can only be described as vast. Though the true extent of his power are yet to be seen, it's been said that his dragon destroy ghost technique was able to stop all the 3rd host of King Ra's demonic clan. A feat that has earned Master Hong the title of Supreme Beggar. His power is only rival by his close friends San Chou, Pak Fong and kwon sing

The Holy Abbot

San Chou has been a member of Shaolin since birth. His birth mother dropped him at the doorstep of the temple when he was a baby. He was another talent who excelled quickly in martial art. He mastered the iron fist by the time he was 6. He mastered the Ching Ka finger by 8 and by 15 has mastered every shaolin martial manuscript created. Afterward he created additions to shaolin's legenday legacy. According to the martial order, San Chou, during one meditation session spoke with Holy Buddha and was bestowed upon him the key to utilize an infinite supply of the Universal Light; a source that is generated from absolute GOD of the universe...BUDDHA. Although his true might are never showed, his powers are often sense before he even enter the proximity. Though he hardly used his techniques, his ability are respected not only by the order of lights but by the order of darkness. Close friends of Pak Fong, Hoi Ching Fa and kwon sing, it's been said that he's the most powerful of the four masters. His compassion is legendary also as he's converted many demons into spirits of light.

The Guardian

Kwon Sing past is a mystery and nobody knows where he came from. He was dubbed The Guardian by the villagers that dwell in the Sha Village, because after saving a child from marauders, he was thanked by the villagers with praise and food. Soon after, he proclaim to be the protector of the Sha village. Although he claim to be neutral in the battle between the order of light and order of darkness, many see him as a proponent for light. He vow to destroy any intruder to the village of sha...whether they are light or darkness. His technique draws from the negative source of all life; Shadow. Unlike the other masters, he's had to build his clan from the ground up. His clan is simply call the Shadow Clan. His students, also known as The Shadow Guards are hand picked and trained by him. They hide their clan affiliation in public existing as normal as possible in society. He picked them on the base of talent and characteristic. Chin Kwon do not believe in luck and is a propoponent for hard work. His technique is often improving and is fear by all those from the order of darkness. His style is known for it's multiple attack angle and vicious attack motions that are so fast it appear to be from all angle. His shadow fist is legendary and his ultimate attack is the Shadow guardians which he created and is recognize by Pak Fong as one of the most powerful thing he's ever seen. He does not use it often but when he does, every martial art masters will feel the effect by way of molecular shifting...it's that powerful.

The Great Sage

Pak Fong was once a prince in the northern kingdom. He abandoned his noble status for a life of natural study and wonderment. He stumble upon the Wu-Tang Clan when he was 8. From there he embraced the technique because it stresses harmony with nature. Little did he know, he would become the most powerful wu-tang leader ever. Mastering the powerful art of Tai Chi at a young age, he grew to add on to the legendary status of the technique. Called the Tai Chi Wave, he draw from all the natural forces of the universe. Rival only by San chou holy light technique and Hoi Ching Fa's celestial dragon technique, The Tai Chi Wave also known as The Tao wave is yet to be used at full potential. A factor that sends chills in the order of darkness.

By rank, the four masters are about equal. However when measuring full potential, there is a substantial ranking between them. San Chou rank as most powerful followed VERY closely by Pak Fong and then by a hair, ranked in third is Hoi Ching Fa, then finally Kwon Sing.

Other affiliates of the Order of Lights are
Kun Lun Clan
Ermei Sect
Pink Lotus Society
White Dragon Clan
Mount Iron Fist
The Chow Family
The Imperial Guards

The Order of Darkness

King Ra

Though never admitted, King Ra serve as the unspoken leader of The Order of Darkness. Along with the Jade Phantom, they are the two most powerful members of TOOD. King Ra was born in the small village of e-tang approximately 300 years ago. He was the son of a struggling farmer, but at a young age he showed talent for the martial arts. One day, wandering with friends through a cavern labyrinth, he became lost. But it was within these caves that he found the ultimate black magic manuscript. The technique transformed him into a crazy grotesque beast that lives for nothing but power. It also slowed his aging process allowing him to live hundreds of years. over the year he's honed his impulsed and as such grew three faces on his head, each a product of his multiple personalities. His rational side represent a feminine quality he named Mey. His impulsive side is Mon and he is now simply titled as King Ra. His Oblivion beam is one of the most feared technique in the martial world; channeling from an unknown source that some said existed from another dimension, it's hard to tell if he's actually reached his true potential. He created the Damnation society which housed some of the most powerful demonic beings and black magic wielder in the world.

Jade Phantom

Jade Phantom was exiled from the Shaolin Temple when he was caught using black magic into his repertoire. He was the elder brother of San Chou and also his most dangerous rival. A martial art fanatic, he grew insane trying to mix the art of light with dark and has now became a creature that lurks behind a green cloak with only green eyes beaming. He is feared by everyone and is even respected by King Ra who admit that it's possible that Jade Phantom is even more powerful than he is. The mutual respect resulted in an unholy alliance between the two superpower. His phantom fist is said to be a mixture of black magic and shaolin techniques. Besides a battle to a standstill with the 4 masters, Jade has never lost a fight ever. When walking in society he would reveal his true form which is a sturdy old master still clad in traditional shaolin garment but with green and yellow designs as opposed to red and yellow. He usually don't interfere with other's problem but is very temperamental. He killed a couple of his allies in the past for disrupting him during a meditation session.

Kabuki

A black magic expert from the east sea. Kabuki sport a kabuki mask and red shaggy hair. He was once an army general for Lord Nobunaga's clan. However, after finding out that he was sleeping with Lord Nobunaga's herem, an order was sent out for his beheading. He fled to a cave on the southern seaboard and there he was visit by the spirit of a yurei. The yurei agree to give him a thousand years worth of power if he could find the scarab ruby. After 20 years of searching, he finally found it and vast power was bestowed upon him. He begin to torment the surrounding village with nightmarish techniques. He also became a cannibal. One fateful day he met another equally depraved human being: Crimson Blade; a rapist that sneak at kidnapping then killing young girls throughout the area. The two join forces and brought dark days to the empire. After unsuccessfully destroying the empire, the journeyed west towards mainland. There they joined force with King Ra's band of Dark Order.

Crimson Blade

A spy assassin who raped his own master's wife and daughter. He was cursed by the grand wizard and was forced to lurk in the shadow. Over the year he mastered the art of the fire ring. A very powerful technique that earned him a title in the martial world. One day, he stumbled upon a mysterious grave site and there he found the crimson blade; a powerful artifact that dates back as old as brimstone. It was once wielded by Jin, the dark ruler of the underworld. It's vast power, combine with his fire ring technique earned him the title of dark assassin. Over the years he raped and killed thousands of villagers. One day he met Kabuki and the two joined force to overthrow the empire. The effort failed due to a mysterious divine protection so they made their way westward...towards mainland. There, they joined the OOD.

Prince Drago

A mysterious entity that claim he was a prince in a kingdom that reside in the far west. Prince Drago has an affinity for the human blood. His real name is Vlad Dracul.

Objective · 12-25-2020, 07:42 PM

This is a lot to read but going to read more as time passes. Thoroughly enjoy the imagery and creativity, however... Brush tf up sentences like these sometime: "He was once the son of a nobel family but his family was accused of a political crime was all executed saved for him and his caretaker." That was horrendous to read, lol.

Besides that, as a DM in DnD this is dope af. I like the backstory of the supreme beggar, and halfway through the story language seems to pick up as well. Looking forward to take a closer look at your other characters and feuds you're building up for.

Candy · 03-15-2021, 12:22 PM

teh background of the intro to the adventure dope man his training and ish is dope and the wu tang i was watching and whislt i read this how high the movie before entering so i peaked.. your sleeper dude rapist was brutal man.. all in all this is a dope concept.. thanks for making the moment even cooler when it really couldnt of dude .. my maine xoxo

Geno · 04-01-2021, 11:43 PM

Interesting.

Eŋg · 04-05-2021, 10:55 AM

some basic grammar flow and tense problems. proofread suggested. you seem heavily influenced by drifters by kouta hirano. at least I think that's his name.

12-03-2020, 01:21 AM	#1
Scar Senior Member Join Date: May 2019 Posts: 530 Battle Record: 7-5 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League Rep Power: 5689705	Gods and Demons this will be somewhat of a prologue and character profile of a story i've been working on for a few years now. Since we can post non open mic piece, i will share with yall what i got so far. There's a place. A place where magic and physics mix. A place not unlike the legend and mythos of old; perhaps even a source of these legends and myths. This place or rather world has no names because it exists in the realm of imagination. in this realm, demons walk the earth and mortals have abilities to influence nature and can either be destructive or save earth from destruction. In this world, energies are manipulated and gods communicate. in this world, anything is possible. Welcome to my world.... *The Order Of Light* The Surpreme Beggar Hong Chi Fa's his name. He's the leader of the beggar sect. He was once the son of a nobel family but his family was accused of a political crime was all executed saved for him and his caretaker. They lived in an old shack where beggars from the beggar sect would often visit. Over the year he became involved with the beggar sect and showed a rare talent for martial art. Before long, he was inducted into the clan and would eventually became it's leader. The sacred scroll of the beggar is the 18 dragon slaying palm. Although a very hard method to learn, he was able to mastered it by 15. From there he began to add on to the legendary style. He's able to add five VERY powerful addition to the technique: Dragon destroys ghost, dragon destroys demon, dragon destroys angels, dragon destroy gods and finally the celestial dragon. Legend stated that during one chi meditation, he was visited by the celestial dragon, a primordial energy force of the universe, that revealed to him the key to it's power...which can only be described as vast. Though the true extent of his power are yet to be seen, it's been said that his dragon destroy ghost technique was able to stop all the 3rd host of King Ra's demonic clan. A feat that has earned Master Hong the title of Supreme Beggar. His power is only rival by his close friends San Chou, Pak Fong and kwon sing The Holy Abbot San Chou has been a member of Shaolin since birth. His birth mother dropped him at the doorstep of the temple when he was a baby. He was another talent who excelled quickly in martial art. He mastered the iron fist by the time he was 6. He mastered the Ching Ka finger by 8 and by 15 has mastered every shaolin martial manuscript created. Afterward he created additions to shaolin's legenday legacy. According to the martial order, San Chou, during one meditation session spoke with Holy Buddha and was bestowed upon him the key to utilize an infinite supply of the Universal Light; a source that is generated from absolute GOD of the universe...BUDDHA. Although his true might are never showed, his powers are often sense before he even enter the proximity. Though he hardly used his techniques, his ability are respected not only by the order of lights but by the order of darkness. Close friends of Pak Fong, Hoi Ching Fa and kwon sing, it's been said that he's the most powerful of the four masters. His compassion is legendary also as he's converted many demons into spirits of light. The Guardian Kwon Sing past is a mystery and nobody knows where he came from. He was dubbed The Guardian by the villagers that dwell in the Sha Village, because after saving a child from marauders, he was thanked by the villagers with praise and food. Soon after, he proclaim to be the protector of the Sha village. Although he claim to be neutral in the battle between the order of light and order of darkness, many see him as a proponent for light. He vow to destroy any intruder to the village of sha...whether they are light or darkness. His technique draws from the negative source of all life; Shadow. Unlike the other masters, he's had to build his clan from the ground up. His clan is simply call the Shadow Clan. His students, also known as The Shadow Guards are hand picked and trained by him. They hide their clan affiliation in public existing as normal as possible in society. He picked them on the base of talent and characteristic. Chin Kwon do not believe in luck and is a propoponent for hard work. His technique is often improving and is fear by all those from the order of darkness. His style is known for it's multiple attack angle and vicious attack motions that are so fast it appear to be from all angle. His shadow fist is legendary and his ultimate attack is the Shadow guardians which he created and is recognize by Pak Fong as one of the most powerful thing he's ever seen. He does not use it often but when he does, every martial art masters will feel the effect by way of molecular shifting...it's that powerful. The Great Sage Pak Fong was once a prince in the northern kingdom. He abandoned his noble status for a life of natural study and wonderment. He stumble upon the Wu-Tang Clan when he was 8. From there he embraced the technique because it stresses harmony with nature. Little did he know, he would become the most powerful wu-tang leader ever. Mastering the powerful art of Tai Chi at a young age, he grew to add on to the legendary status of the technique. Called the Tai Chi Wave, he draw from all the natural forces of the universe. Rival only by San chou holy light technique and Hoi Ching Fa's celestial dragon technique, The Tai Chi Wave also known as The Tao wave is yet to be used at full potential. A factor that sends chills in the order of darkness. By rank, the four masters are about equal. However when measuring full potential, there is a substantial ranking between them. San Chou rank as most powerful followed VERY closely by Pak Fong and then by a hair, ranked in third is Hoi Ching Fa, then finally Kwon Sing. Other affiliates of the Order of Lights are Kun Lun Clan Ermei Sect Pink Lotus Society White Dragon Clan Mount Iron Fist The Chow Family The Imperial Guards The Order of Darkness King Ra Though never admitted, King Ra serve as the unspoken leader of The Order of Darkness. Along with the Jade Phantom, they are the two most powerful members of TOOD. King Ra was born in the small village of e-tang approximately 300 years ago. He was the son of a struggling farmer, but at a young age he showed talent for the martial arts. One day, wandering with friends through a cavern labyrinth, he became lost. But it was within these caves that he found the ultimate black magic manuscript. The technique transformed him into a crazy grotesque beast that lives for nothing but power. It also slowed his aging process allowing him to live hundreds of years. over the year he's honed his impulsed and as such grew three faces on his head, each a product of his multiple personalities. His rational side represent a feminine quality he named Mey. His impulsive side is Mon and he is now simply titled as King Ra. His Oblivion beam is one of the most feared technique in the martial world; channeling from an unknown source that some said existed from another dimension, it's hard to tell if he's actually reached his true potential. He created the Damnation society which housed some of the most powerful demonic beings and black magic wielder in the world. Jade Phantom Jade Phantom was exiled from the Shaolin Temple when he was caught using black magic into his repertoire. He was the elder brother of San Chou and also his most dangerous rival. A martial art fanatic, he grew insane trying to mix the art of light with dark and has now became a creature that lurks behind a green cloak with only green eyes beaming. He is feared by everyone and is even respected by King Ra who admit that it's possible that Jade Phantom is even more powerful than he is. The mutual respect resulted in an unholy alliance between the two superpower. His phantom fist is said to be a mixture of black magic and shaolin techniques. Besides a battle to a standstill with the 4 masters, Jade has never lost a fight ever. When walking in society he would reveal his true form which is a sturdy old master still clad in traditional shaolin garment but with green and yellow designs as opposed to red and yellow. He usually don't interfere with other's problem but is very temperamental. He killed a couple of his allies in the past for disrupting him during a meditation session. Kabuki A black magic expert from the east sea. Kabuki sport a kabuki mask and red shaggy hair. He was once an army general for Lord Nobunaga's clan. However, after finding out that he was sleeping with Lord Nobunaga's herem, an order was sent out for his beheading. He fled to a cave on the southern seaboard and there he was visit by the spirit of a yurei. The yurei agree to give him a thousand years worth of power if he could find the scarab ruby. After 20 years of searching, he finally found it and vast power was bestowed upon him. He begin to torment the surrounding village with nightmarish techniques. He also became a cannibal. One fateful day he met another equally depraved human being: Crimson Blade; a rapist that sneak at kidnapping then killing young girls throughout the area. The two join forces and brought dark days to the empire. After unsuccessfully destroying the empire, the journeyed west towards mainland. There they joined force with King Ra's band of Dark Order. Crimson Blade A spy assassin who raped his own master's wife and daughter. He was cursed by the grand wizard and was forced to lurk in the shadow. Over the year he mastered the art of the fire ring. A very powerful technique that earned him a title in the martial world. One day, he stumbled upon a mysterious grave site and there he found the crimson blade; a powerful artifact that dates back as old as brimstone. It was once wielded by Jin, the dark ruler of the underworld. It's vast power, combine with his fire ring technique earned him the title of dark assassin. Over the years he raped and killed thousands of villagers. One day he met Kabuki and the two joined force to overthrow the empire. The effort failed due to a mysterious divine protection so they made their way westward...towards mainland. There, they joined the OOD. Prince Drago A mysterious entity that claim he was a prince in a kingdom that reside in the far west. Prince Drago has an affinity for the human blood. His real name is Vlad Dracul. __________________ I remember the poplar trees

12-25-2020, 07:42 PM	#2
Objective ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,787 Battle Record: 17-32 Rep Power: 52474189	This is a lot to read but going to read more as time passes. Thoroughly enjoy the imagery and creativity, however... Brush tf up sentences like these sometime: "He was once the son of a nobel family but his family was accused of a political crime was all executed saved for him and his caretaker." That was horrendous to read, lol. Besides that, as a DM in DnD this is dope af. I like the backstory of the supreme beggar, and halfway through the story language seems to pick up as well. Looking forward to take a closer look at your other characters and feuds you're building up for. __________________ I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave, So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o

03-15-2021, 12:22 PM	#3
Candy Sell Her Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 985 Battle Record: 1-3 Rep Power: 5082452	teh background of the intro to the adventure dope man his training and ish is dope and the wu tang i was watching and whislt i read this how high the movie before entering so i peaked.. your sleeper dude rapist was brutal man.. all in all this is a dope concept.. thanks for making the moment even cooler when it really couldnt of dude .. my maine xoxo __________________ curious más curioso y más curioso

04-01-2021, 11:43 PM	#4
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,324 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	Interesting. __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

04-05-2021, 10:55 AM	#5
Eŋg rhyme capsule. Join Date: Sep 2018 Posts: 2,145 Rep Power: 0	some basic grammar flow and tense problems. proofread suggested. you seem heavily influenced by drifters by kouta hirano. at least I think that's his name.