01-22-2021, 03:05 PM | #1 |
rhyme capsule.
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,146
Rep Power: 0 |
puke
don't write with a pencil,
scribe with the mental's violent potential, mine is essential. - your mind is a rental, who pays the rent? say again? A-LI-ENS? maybe them. you don't know you're crazy then - you don't know your radiance. join the ranks of lazy men if you don't do the work. i puke a verse of putrid words until the verb usage flares like kuja teared through the view of earth. synodic, synoptic darkness of the lunar year. bring light. i'm a luminary. pinch to double-check i'm still human here, show me a pauper about whom the affluent care. we are sick, but no influenza. just proposed influencers. juxtaposed, the truth subverts. stunted growth; you're soon interred. fuck it though, Eŋg move the earth with a gust of wind when i let loose a verse, think lucifer can do the worst? no greater enemy in the universe than the loss of human worth - who can hurt you more than yourself? God gave me wings but instead i flew to dirt, digging through... my mood deterred, assume you were - through the glare - someone with whom you could share an embrace with. maybe that's basic. love isn't lost, just been too long since you faced it. |
01-23-2021, 09:12 PM | #2 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,962
Battle Record: 6 - 14
Rep Power: 0 |
Reads more like a freestyle than a fleshed out Eng piece.
But still fairly dope in parts. Reader learns a couple new words. Swear I could have seen another piece of yours rhyming universe. If I'm wrong, sorry. Still a decent drop. |
02-11-2021, 04:51 AM | #3 |
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,787
Battle Record: 17-32
Rep Power: 52474189 |
Agree that this reads more like a free than a fleshed out piece of yours, dusting off the rust?
Either way I enjoyed this for what it was. Some cool lines here and there, ff9 reference with Kuja? Really dope reference that make sense to the topic at hand too. "no greater enemy in the universe than the loss of human worth" ^ word Keep dropping
__________________
I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o |
03-01-2021, 08:37 PM | #4 |
rhyme capsule.
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,146
Rep Power: 0 |
word. i'm rusty but not dusty.
|
03-24-2021, 02:31 PM | #5 |
low tide in serotonin bay
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,739
Battle Record: 37-28
Champed - GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League
- Black August II
Rep Power: 15446142 |
Not much here content-wise imo I’m not too versed on your old pieces but you seem like a very skilled writer to me. The flow was impeccable, I liked the multis and scheme throughout, can’t lie though getting through this was a headache, just all the word twisting and what not was sort of a roller coaster ride and though I enjoyed it, it tossed and turned my brain in directions it hadn’t been in awhile so thank you and fuck you all in the same lmao
“ i puke a verse of putrid words until the verb usage flares like kuja teared through the view of earth. synodic, synoptic darkness of the lunar year. bring light. i'm a luminary. pinch to double-check i'm still human here, show me a pauper about whom the affluent care.” Fav bars keep writing |
03-24-2021, 05:36 PM | #6 |
Ad mini tator
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,005
Battle Record: 26-54
Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 85899400 |
Always here for an eng open mic
|
03-26-2021, 11:37 PM | #7 |
The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,024
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349678 |
This was smooth from the start to finish
Like you could say this at an actual open mic The imagery was popping out here & there My favorite section right below here synodic, synoptic darkness of the lunar year. bring light. i'm a luminary. pinch to double-check i'm still human here, show me a pauper about whom the affluent care. we are sick, but no influenza. just proposed influencers. ^^^nicely worded and structure right there You always bring something fun to the table It's interesting to see where your works lead to Keep it up
__________________
.....laugh....and the world laughs with you |
03-30-2021, 08:44 PM | #8 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,212
Rep Power: 5303580 |
i wrote this
thanks for the feedback bros |
04-06-2021, 12:01 AM | #9 |
Steel Cut
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 5,073
Battle Record: 19-10
Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x)
Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV
- Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 79005425 |
think lucifer can do the worst?
no greater enemy in the universe than the loss of human worth - who can hurt you more than yourself? God gave me wings but instead i flew to dirt damn that's good.
__________________
You should be water |
04-13-2021, 11:16 PM | #11 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,212
Rep Power: 5303580 |
stop takin praise for my work nigga
before i tell sinacog to smite you matter of fact ive had enough set up it nigga topical battle, about the oceans floor & heavenly sun rays & flowers & shits like that 6000 lines |
04-14-2021, 06:38 PM | #12 | |||||||
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 732
Battle Record: 2-1
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 19584275 |
Quote:
Quote:
In any case, everything quoted above was straight fire! Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Overall (and per usual) this joint was fire. It read free and fluent, unrestrained and unabashed. Like a constant stream of intuitive consciousness. I fuck with it, Eng. Real shit. Plus it was entertaining.
__________________
Quote:
|
|||||||
05-19-2021, 01:42 AM | #13 |
Almighty
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 580
Battle Record: 2-3
Rep Power: 428840 |
Your flow is still butter as usual. Yu gud with dem werds, mun.
join the ranks of lazy men if you don't do the work. i puke a verse of putrid words until the verb usage flares like kuja teared through the view of earth. Nice. |
06-30-2021, 12:44 PM | #14 |
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 48
Rep Power: 53110 |
Read through this a few times now, the rhythmic pattern’s that enjoyable.
Loved these the most: pinch to double-check i'm still human here, show me a pauper about whom the affluent care. - who can hurt you more than yourself? God gave me wings but instead i flew to dirt But really, everything read natural and came off as organic with clever turns of phrases. Sort of weaving in and out of interesting train of thoughts. Write more? |
07-01-2021, 11:53 AM | #15 |
rhyme capsule.
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,146
Rep Power: 0 |
appreciate the love.
|
07-10-2021, 06:39 PM | #16 | |
HALL OF FAME
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: portal 7 to the 9th exponent
Posts: 16,171
Battle Record: 3-5
Rep Power: 0 |
Eng this was great. The command of ideas and the flow mixed together. I liked the first two waves crescendo with the double check to see if I’m still human here was ether. Please keep writing
__________________
Quote:
|
|
|
|