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08-22-2021, 06:27 PM
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HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
Champed - The Ultimate Writer
- NBL Cypher
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 12601535  |
Finals Mag
[Intro]
Hey. It’s been a while. I should probably start with I’m sorry. It wasn’t a great choice to run this tourney. But, you know. It’s the Classic. And we have our two finalists: Dave, one of Netcee’s Big 3 of the pandemic era, facing off against Swerve, the dark horse who has forced me to run our bracket through MS paint every week. While this tourney has been marred by absenteeism *cough* faggotsharp *cough* it’s had it’s share of hard fought battles, bangers of concepts, and any-given-Sunday surprises. Since I’ve missed literally every possible opportunity for a mag (shouts out to bleak for filling one of those gaps) I’ll try to cover everything in the finals mag. Anyway, [Highlights] I missed a few dope verses from a few dope battlers. Read over every battle and wanted to post an end-tourney round up. These are in no particular order aside from saving Swerve and Dave for last. Sinacog Da gawd. Shame he only blessed us with one verse, but he went hard and got robbed, as usual. I'm the unorthdox dragon..bomb maggots// DID YOU KNOW YOUR A FAGGOT THAT COULD FLY// Quote:
Sn00p The German is still nice with it. Seeing someone like Sn00p rematerialize out of nowhere and drop is a huge reason why I still want to run shit occasionally (inb4 evidently not enough faggot sharp) and he didn’t disappoint here. a last minute key from the wackest nerd? ...like that'd work but even if u had Tencent early, u'd also need Microsoft & Apple to match my worth my German bros never talk to cops & won’t duck. spot u & the posse blows shots while Blue’s Brothers only ride in police cars & ALWAYS run when the Nazis show up how u skip everything BUT leg day?! u tryna pump the heat would be fun to see we’ve ALL heard about BB getting his little Pellet on. no wonder the Guns are weak Quote:
Blue Bayou One of the most likely to find himself in the finals, possibly champ, Blue Bayou gave up text glory to be there for the birth of his child. Fucking pussy. you ain’t gangsta. no cartel ties just hardwell vibes Fear Street shit so much the only Set you can claim is RL Stine’s i’ll bring excitement to the late rounds, you got a buzz that wouldn’t besides, how you expect to Handle a Swerve.. when your cousin couldn’t guys i make big consulting bucks. Blue’s a 'finish the terms' closer Allen’s idea of a Good Startup is pushing his clients car til they get it to turnover Quote:
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MetaSin Crazy seeing a former Classic champ participating, especially one of the first. Meta’s style is definitely a little dated, but that didn’t stop his verse from feeling fresh. Hope he comes back at some point. u stay clear of the twat. unless its yours bc you're here for the cocks u treat lonely nights like a kids breakfast... pullin toys out of the cereal box. You look like the homeless. Facts. I’ll lift your skirt, to stress and prove it. While you justify rockin that lady drip, by claiming you’re gender fluid Quote:
Mac Our favorite South American showed up to play, looking to drop 16 against the most dominant force of NC Quarantine era. Unfortunately voters felt his bars were a little undercooked. He’s one of the people I would see doing better in a league, where he can take time and develop his style, but that’s asking a lot of 2021. now u gotta move forward, scared or not - the exit's hard she wasted you & never paid back like uh-oh's credit card Quote:
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Cereal Cereal is a topical head who I’ve never seen battle before. Props on him for stepping out of his comfort zone. He’s definitely gonna need some practice before he can really hang. Hope he gets the chance to do so. Check out the Tourney Cereal is co-running with Master Rock: http://www.netcees.org/forumdisplay.php?f=307 Quote:
UserName I didn't forget this in the first draft. User's style is funny as hell. He's definitely the one I wanted to see more of this tourney, but real life took over. Just glad he'll be in top form for the next one. This hick bitch can get hit with a quick diss Everyone’s beaten you, and the tally count’s looking like Inf’s wrists You never win, every match we all laugh as u cry The only blowouts you have involve spraying off the back of ur thighs Quote:
INF The wordplay wizard probably had the hardest bracket out of anyone here and he showed up. Taking out MetaSin and putting in work against Zuch is no small feat. Good to see he can go toe to toe with the top tier. He'll be in a high level finals soon, I'm sure. Whole fam get slumped, bagged & dumped.. yo very savage shit Ya newborn too; the little miracle in the trunk ain't Mary Magdalene Blue bin sending u lines too. bro, what's shown is played Now were asking: Hazmat scraped bottom of the barrel for his throwaways? Quote:
bleak Shoutout to bleak for contributing an actual mag along the way. I love the way this guy writes. Its the kind of delivery that you can tell has actual fluidity in mind and could transition well to audio if it was 2006. Always happy to read a bleak verse because they never drag, and we got two. The man can smoothly rhyme with Antetokounmpo someone get him on a fucking track already. drum kit, this shit long and drawn out like boomers making vids on weapons tik tok - 600 rounds a minute and couldn't fit the clip in 15 seconds hit yo new place w a masked caper. you wont see it coming i'm a bad neighbor too late to greet u but you'll feel your house warming from the gas vapors Quote:
Wanderer Good to know this guy’s still around. He’s got funny concepts that generally entertain, just needs a little more meanness to his punches and he’s competing with anyone. Looking forward to his next drop. Zelph bruh ya trolling, facts.. not from my streets or holding gats If u say ‘there’s only 1 way out the hood’ it’s coz u live in a cul de sac No threatening attack. U crashing out’s the bottom line Unable to own a moment.. THAT’S the reason ur on borrowed time Quote:
Bomb Bard Spree’s the man. He’s done a good job of flipping current events/discussion threads into ammo, which is a relatively untapped market. He had the notable extra life of this tourney, where User waited until he was up in votes to forfeit It’s nothing to beat a fat bitch so eat these rights quick Fuck Sherman…your body flying in air & landing, is the ultimate flight risk Quote:
Zuch No question about it, the most dominant text battler during covid. Zuch demonstrated everything that put him on top in his first two battles. The amount of quotes I could pull from his verses and say ‘these are highlights’ is mind-boggling. Man’s so ruthless he 5-0’d Ouch while checking into his battle thread (RIP Ouch). With different motivation/circumstances he could very easily be on the precipice of taking the whole damn thing and his drops show exactly why anyone with half a brain considered him the favorite. Brain damage taking huge tolls, go ahead, take a few polls If they say you’re “highly regarded”, it’s a obvious auto-correct played a huge role Your wife sucks cock, we all saw it so please be keen That bitch be donating the brain quick like it’s crawlin’ with CTE Zero potential, I’ll do the favor and leave you in a hole bleeding No wonder the noose has never worked, you got one helluva low ceiling Give us both guns and I’m unloading mine on a fly pattern You hold yours with two hands shaking, but nothing coming out like a shy bladder Rejected your whole life, that shit musta hurt kid The ladies call you swerve? Nah, you just don’t know what a verb is Quote:
Incredible The man cares about the culture and shows up. Always glad to have him. Inc is one of those guys who - I think - does better in a long form event (league) as opposed to elimination stuff. He didn’t really get the chance to warm up and get into a groove, but still good to see him drop. U seen incredibles 1-2?? Shits are top notch, fact! I slide while ur girl at work, thats a box office smash Quote:
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Universe This dude is a writing machine. Being fundamentally sound is something you should never take for granted, but Universe’s technique and attention to detail is so effortless, you don’t even think about it. He probably wrote a verse for everyone while waiting for his first round opponent to be figured out. The multifaceted threat is the kind of diverse writer I love to see battling, looking forward to see it again. General bars galore, like hardware stores every line's an easy chore There's no basis for that... so having something apply wood leave me floored Quote:
[The Contenders] Swerve Back when Swerve was active towards the end of NC 1, I thought he was pretty underrated. The fact that he can come back and still compete says a lot about his ability. His verses have been long, and while he’s managed to be somewhat consistent, it really puts a spotlight on how his delivery can be the same. If his punch isn’t ‘so much/many/more xxx that/than xxx’ 90% chance it’s got three dots in the middle - fun drinking game is to do a shot every time a Swerve punchline has ‘...’ in the middle - but the concepts have been pretty great, especially in his last two battles. While his semifinal competition was a weaker verse from Zuch, there were a lot of bright spots. ‘Raise the standard’ is one of the best punches I’ve seen in a while. Swerve stay busting in quads, I'm the original skeet shooter, Bullets to your dome and I'll make four fit...since that's the only way you could beat User. Pay attention, the scope’s on ya when I’m teaching a lesson, Have so many autos following your body…they can be your funeral procession. You’re low brow and not funny, it’s just a matter of fact, I raise the standard…you told it you were going for milk and never came back. Quote:
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Dave Dave’s had a hell of a trajectory. The number 3 seed came off his bye week and just barely squeaked by his first opponent, Wanderer. His second round against a weaker bleak showing got some props, but it definitely wasn’t up to the standard we’ve seen from him in the past year. Of course, he gets through the semi with a noshow, so in the whole tourney, it feels like Dave is still untested. The voters already picked me in the bracket, there’s a score n they know it You could call this a conflict of interest.. if you weren’t such a boring opponent And I been fucking his girl since forever even tho she ugly and never listens So Every time I’m at Bleak House, unless it’s period drama she getting dickens Quote:
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[The Finals] I’m equally curious about Swerve’s concepts shining despite the same delivery and… well… all of Dave’s verse. Dave’s been clutch in finals - been in 3+(?) in the last year with some notable wins - so I can’t write him off. But this could be a rusty Dave against a warmed up Swerve. Here’s what I see each guy needing to win: Sweve’s gotten this far on the back of his concepts. His wording isn’t bad, at times, good, but his concepts have the creativity to hang against anyone. If he’s going 20, the delivery will get repetitive. Creative angles are his path to victory. Meanwhile, Dave needs consistency. He’s got a lot of this text stuff down, but unless he really hasn’t taken opponents seriously, his verses have been lacking champion level polish and finesse. Obviously, the better verse will win (unless you’re Barcotic, in which case the discord voting ring conspiracy votes against you every time some of the time). I’m genuinely not sure who will bring it, but based on this tourney alone, Swerve has definitely had stronger showings. Of course, this isn’t the only time Dave’s texted, so I can’t really say a guy with multiple champs in the last year is an underdog. All I’m hoping for is a dope battle to ring in a new champion, and I’m genuinely sure we’ll have that. Congrats on making it to finals, Dave and Swerve, I look forward to reading it. [Cypher Results] Everyone who participated loses. Shame on you all. No outro. I love most of you. Peace
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