WEEK 4 MAG: AL. GORE. RHYTHM

[UPN Zuch]

WEEK 4 MAG




INTRO

Welcome to week 4. Shout out to Hush, User and my girl for the help this week. Doing the algorithm for rankings took a lot of time, so I appreciate the mag help this time around.

Everything is coming together nicely. We have a strong showing from everyone in the league and I am super happy with the voting. Everyone is hitting almost every battle and hitting it early. Hot verses from Blue, Des, Hush, Sharp, etc.

Rankings are posted in the forum.

This week we have:

Reviews
No-show Heat
UPN vs NC Throwbacks
Power Rankings
Previews
Top 10 Punches
True Rankings

If anyone has any issues or concerns about the league, PM me. Open to all suggestions to make it the best possible environment for battling. Thanks again to everyone for showing up and showing out. Keep getting those votes in. You da real MVPs.



WEEK 3 Mag Reviews
*by my beautiful wife, mrs. jamie zuch*





*featuring Rudge 2*






Netcees Mag Week Three : Reviews (hi matty, I’m so proud of you baby!!! I love being your #1 fan and supporting you with everything you do. now hop in our bed, with me, and let me suck your dick and fuck me hard tonight!!! you’re the hottest man alive!!! I’m so lucky to have you baby!!!)


*I just want to say thank you to everyone for allowing me to partake in the mag reviews again this week. I had a lot of fun reading everyone’s writing and I was impressed by every single person. whether I felt you won the battle or not, same with this week, you all are champions in my eyes. you’re all incredible writers, you’re not just some battler to me. I believe that each and every one of you have pure talent and I’m proud to have a man so heavily involved in the site. thank you again for allowing me to be a part of something so incredible. *
- Mrs. Jamie Zasucha (Zuch)

*PS: To Barcotic, I think that you are a wonderful writer, with lots of talent. The battle last week between you and Hush was dynamite������������ It was my first time ever doing reviews and I thought you had strong punches and a great delivery, I never meant to offend you my friend. I’m definitely not an idiot, and you need to remember, this is my first time ever being a part of something like this. You should be impressed with yourself, no matter who I believe took the win and how I relay my opinion. Either way you showed up and spit a fire verse that takes guts, talent, and creativity. I myself could not do it. Continue to do incredible work, and to anyone else I may have offended, I only mean well and I try to make sure everyone can see the lightheartedness in everything I say. I appreciate everyone’s hard work.*




“Always remember, a writer is someone who works hard and strives for their work to have power, to communicate, to engage and to entertain, to mean something to people other than themselves. Writers always strive for improvement, even when they feel they accomplished the top achievement.”
- Mrs. Jamie Zasucha (Zuch)








WEEK THREE
*rating chart: <3= 1 pt, $= 0.5 pt,
blow me out of the park!*
(rating system originally fire emojis, but Netcees does not post emojis.)




Destroyer vs Blue : <3<3<3<3<3 5/5
*calls 911*
“holy shit, I need to report a huge ass fire. bring your whole crew, call in the guys from the neighboring departments. you’re going to need everyone you can get to hose down this fire.”
“ma’am ... ma’am ... calm down ... can you explain what happened?”
“all I know is Destroyer and Blue battled.”
“shit, we’re already on our way.”
This was fucking incredible. This has to be the hottest battle of week three, how could it not be the hottest? Good fucking work you guys, you both blew me away. I have serious respect for the both of you, you both know how to bring the heat. I was speechless after reading this battle. This was so close, at this point I’m not sure who I’d hand this win to. I hope you both always continue to come back and drop nothing but heat. I get extremely excited to see what you both will bring. You both, as well as Zuch, should be the sites role models.
Destroyer: holy shit! I’m pretty positive that you made me sweat last week, I had to stop/drop/roll after reading this weeks verse. This verse should’ve been illegal because it’s a bomb threat! You definitely deserve a national Nobel Prize for your writing. Your opener killed, I especially loved how you tied in Blue’s bars from last week (Nobu / No blue) and destroyed him with his own bar, that you creatively made your own. Concepts, delivery, wordplay, des there was honestly not one thing that I didn’t love about your verse. I actually had pain from laughing so hard at the shots you took at Blue, I love the humor you tied in, it takes talent to be able to incorporate laughter in such a strong way. One more thing, the way you took a stab at yourself towards the end (haven’t been sadder over a blue line since the first time my wife got pregnant) was so Eminem from 8 Mile and I loved it because you made fun of yourself before anyone else could. I felt fourth degree burns everywhere. Des, please keep coming with all this power you have. You know how much Kanye loves Kanye? Yeah, that’s how much I love your talent and your writing. I only show up to do reviews to see what you came with, and you always impress. The world play was so fucking clever and creative, and that delivery had me trying to order some crutches you fucking broke me with this verse. Did you come out of the womb, spitting bomb ass verses? Basically, I felt KO’d after reading this and it wasn’t even towards me. And, you deserve Bruce Buffer announcing your win.
Blue: holy moly me oh my, slap my ass and change your name to destroyer #2 because that’s exactly what you did. you destroyed. this was dynamite, out of this world!!! first and foremost, I thought the prelim (sup old man, how’s T-Mobile?) brought a lot of laughter right out of the gate, so thank you for that. that opener .... fucking insane. if I were the one on the other side, and that was your opener against me, I would’ve been like welp, where’s my shovel? time to dig my grave. I mean honestly, that one bar could’ve gave you the win. blue, you were a fucking savage in this battle. (Miscarriage bar, Dada plan, IPhone Pro, Catcher in the Rye, Blood Pressure) ... wait, why am I even listing your bars when it’s every single bar that got me. you came in and slayed des’ whole world. of course, opener and closer were fucking phenomenal, did I expect anything less, absolutely not.
Overall: You both started World War III and both made it out alive and with all your limbs in tact. So, I’m sending medical bills to both of you for all of my fourth degree burns I received from reading all of this fire and bathing in the fire you both came with. Had me sweatin over here like a whore in church. You both are definitely favorites of mine and play a fair game. I love both of your styles and creativity. Both so consistent and witty, and both had flawless verses. Each of you have smooth flow and delivery, concepts that almost made me pee my pants. You keep me on the edge of my seat. Can’t wait to see what you both bring next week. First time I’ve ever said this but this was a tie on my end. You both set the bar high. Congrats friends!!



Dave vs INF: <3<3$ 2.5/5
When I see Evad on a battle, I get excited because lately you have been coming through with nothing but straight HEAAATTT. Dave brings what Jimmy Butler brings in Miami, HEAT. Arizona typa weather up in here when Dave comes through, only difference is nothing is dry about his verses. But, I’ve got to admit guys, I don’t think this was either of your best work. I think there was strong potential here to boss ass battle, but one of the main issues was that each verse felt very rushed to me.
INF: Your Hal opener was creative and it was a great start, but as I kept reading I felt the verse was repetitive and rushed. Definitely not a lot of strong shots made, and I was confused about how Zuch got brought in? I find it hilarious when someone ties in another writer from the site, but to me it did not make sense and I felt as if it did not fit there. Elon bar was funny, but really man, I’m not seeing any personals which is crucial to battle. You want to shoot shots at the person, like Destroyer did when he mentioned Blues pics and Nobu, and Blue did when he mentioned Destroyers miscarriage, not just make shit up as you go. I would work on getting some INFormation (lol get it?) next time on the person you’re up against, how about that wordplay? Closer did not end with a bang, which is important as well. Honestly, you have potential, you’re a great writer but I felt as if the verse was weak.
Dave: Not your strongest or best verse, but I still loved reading it. I loved the first line in your opener, but the second was iffy to me. I’m pretty sure it’d be the other way around when you said bump up his grades. INF puts the D in men was hilarious, but Dave puts the G in peng I didn’t understand at all. Southpaw bar was dope, but I didn’t feel any strong punches. I looked down and had bruises after reading Destroyers and Blues verses, I was expecting to have a black eye after reading yours, but it wasn’t all there this week. You are an excellent writer though, your delivery is fantastic and you’re very clever. I just think you need more personals as well.

Overall: INF is going to have to take the L this week, and I’m handing this big win over to Evad. This was closer than I thought it would turn out to be, but Dave was more consistent and had stronger punches. Nothing was over the top incredible with either of your verses though. I’d work on using more personals and spending time getting information on one another next time. You guys both though have some serious talent, and I can’t wait to read what you both bring to the table next week!

Sinacog vs JayFresh: um, I’m not even rating this battle. I was hoping Sinacog read the mag last week, the review section to be specific and took some advice but nopeee. I took a bottle of Tylenol extra strength after reading this one. This is a big ass no from me dawg.
Sinacog: Bro, what the actual fuck. I’m not going to kick down your religion or whatever because you seem to tie that in every time, and I’m not going to knock your personal writing, but its screaming I don’t fit here. Keep it somewhere other than netcees, that’s not battle writing. When you battle against someone you want to find personals about them, something embarrassing or anything and make fun of them for it. Practice wordplay, rhyme, delivery etc. You have a fresh way of writing, something different that I’ve never seen before, but it doesn’t belong in a rap battle. “I’m Lucifer’s Legion; Screaming Demons; Dripping Semon!” That’s already an L. If you want to win, heed my advice man and stop talking about yourself. Stop rhyming just to rhyme. “I’m always thinking about text battling and sex!” We don’t care, we want your opinion on someone else. Stop trolling man! These lines make me sick to my stomach. You have a creative drive, you just need to practice writing an actual verse. Oh and a couple of grammar classes maybe? Your verse was very middle school. I don’t want to hurt your feelings though, you definitely have a fresh and different style. If you work on it Sin, your fresh take will be good for the league. You have potential, you just need a lot of work. mic dropped, jamie out yo!
JaysonFresh: You had me leaning for days last week. You’re really talented. I’m new to reviews but, I have an idea of who most people are on the site. You’re new to me, but you came out of the woodwork with a fire ass bang last week. This week, I think you could’ve said anything and taken the W because of who you were up against. I feel like I would’ve been leaning more if you ripped on Sinacog about personals, like the way he writes for battles. Escape Room was witty and clever, and Swear Jar had me gone, I logged out I was so gone. Pointing out you had a bye this week bar was perfect. Set up, concepts, punches were all fresh and clever. You’re pretty dope, awesome to see fresh new talent.
Overall: Do I even have to do this part for this one? Sinacog, you had me leaning for wrong reasons. But, you do have a creative side, you need to practice using it in the correct format. JaysonFresh, welcome to the league. You have pure talent. JaysonFresh takes the cake (


Mac vs Adverse: <3<3<3<3 4/5
Someone call 911! Shawty fire burnin on Netcees! Another classic, pull the extinguisher out, type of battle. You guys meant business and I really came through. You both scream talent and drip heat.
Adverse: Straight flameeesss! You had me leaning the entire time. Thank you for including me in your opener, I feel so honored. By the way, that opener did not get as much praise as it should. Right from the start, I knew this is fucking hot. I died, came back to life, and died again with your verse and that opener. Gay Porn and THIS body bar were also my favorites and I loved your closer. I don’t know if anyone noticed how you wordplayed and tied in that 70s show, but I caught it right away and I’m stilling leaning. Adverse, you brought tears to my eyes I was laughing so hard and jaw dropping at the same time. Adverse, am I going to catch you on dateline? Because you murdered this shit! Keep that talent coming.
Mac: Your prelim, posting Adverse’s comment and incorporating it with your opener was clever and fantastic. I loved that. Ad skipped bar was the best bar yet, bury me after that I’m dead. Head and shoulders just about killed me too. You’re extremely clever and witty, great verse. You definitely can write. Zuch knows the game better than anyone I know, he said you’re the hot new talent, and your skill showed this week. You’ve got so much talent, it’s great to see.
Overall: You both came with a lot of power, fire fire fire, I loved it. You both are extremely clever and talented and I love each of your personal styles. If I were to name a winner though, I think I’d have to go with Adverse. I think his wording was just a wee bit more smooth. (I also have to keep my support going for him, because his wife isn’t going to do it.) Other than that, great concepts guys, fantastic delivery. You both had me digging my grave all in all, love to you both.



TOP iLL vs iSpaz: <3<3<3<3$ 4.5/5
First of all, I’d like to make it very clear that I am actually doing each review all by myself. Every word that is said, everything under ‘reviews’ is completely done by me, myself, and I. Zuch is not pretending to be me, iSpaz. I read every verse, put together my thoughts, etc. It takes a long time, and Zuch couldn’t do it like me, even if he wanted to. Rant over. This battle was hot, iSpaz came with some creative, smooth, and fire shit that I did not think he’d actually bring. TOP iLL, as sexy as he is, (I need that guys number by the way), came through with a fucking banger per usual. Travis Scott and I were twinnin with the goosebumps after this one.
iSpaz: Nice opener, but I’m a virgin so wanting everyone’s dick does not make sense. I don’t even know what dick means. (....oh uh that baby, yes he’s mine but uh shit anyways...) I think your opener could have been a banger, you could have started with straight fire, because you are talented with a lot of creativity and a smooth delivery, but maybe if you worked on the wording or played with the concept a little, I don’t know it just wasn’t speaking to me, and not just because I’m the whore in your opener lol. RuPaul was a leaner, but it’s legit me behind these reviews so not facts lol. Basically, I think you have great concepts, that blow everyone out of the park. I think you deserve more praise and credit for your concepts, your smooth delivery, you know how to put a bomb ass verse together. I think if you work on wording and play around with your concepts a little more, you’ll have a blow out of a verse. I think you’ll earn better shots that way. Props to you for going up against Top iLL and doing a killer job.
TOP iLL: Wanna be my lover baby? DTF? ASL?
*Schhhh. Breaker 99! Schhhh. Breaker 99, Over! Yeah, we got a code red over here, a fucking fire shoot out, something about some TOP iLL verse. I’m going to need hella back up. This is insane! Get here now!*
TOP iLL you are a king, you’ve got incredible style just like my man Zuch, ironic huh? Your prelim, “real quick I gotta shit” killed your girl. The ego and confidence you carry throughout your verse is noticeable and it makes it all the difference. When you can see how confident someone is, when they know they can trump anyone that comes at them, it somehow makes the verse flow even better. I loved your use of BLADOW, that’s super creative. I’d love to see the other talented writers in the league urban dictionary some words and find a way to incorporate them into their verse. Incredible bar, Lapping dudes cum bar, Scared of Matthew Bar, Sinacog catching you, Mom fucked on cam/Blair Witch Project, basically the entire verse blew out of the park. Unbiased, I honestly feel as if your writing is extremely astonishing. You have an impressive way of writing where it seems like it’s laid back and not a lot of stress was put into it, but it also reads smooth and has impressive delivery, concepts, wordplay, etc. Top iLL champs and gives me goosebumps. Oh yeah, I <3 girls an good at sex is your signature, so hit me up boo. Try a night with me.
Overall: Unbiased and understandably, I have to hand the reigning champion medal over to TOP iLL. He truly deserves it. The hard work he puts into each verse every week. How bars and shots just come to him. They way he can make it flow like you’re spreading butter on grandmas sweet toast in the morning. The way he can take a shit and write a verse at the same time. He carries talent I’ve never seen before, and I still have yet to find in someone. The verse speaks for itself on why he wins my vote, but iSpaz did a nice job. I think it’s impressive when you go up against someone as incredible as TOP iLL and you still bring the fire. Good job to both of you gentlemen.

Sharp vs Barcotic: <3<3<3 3/5
I’m terrified to say anything, honestly, because I don’t want to hurt Barcs feelings. I don’t want to make anyone feel less than just because of my opinion, but I can’t just skip this battle. Therefore, please understand that your worth is not based off of my opinion. Like I’ve said before, whether I believe you won or lost, does not mean you’re not an incredible writer. So here we go ....
Barcotic: I liked your start-off, “a lesson for the teacher....” it’s a leaner and full of wit. But, I’m just going to be honest here, the opener was not my favorite. I think you had an excellent concept there, but you need to play with it more (that’s what she said) and I’m sure it would have satisfied me more (I did that on purpose for another that’s what she said lol.) Lamb post just wasn’t it. Did not hit hard. I don’t like the wording on shook life/aids bar, wording was off, other than that it could’ve came out with a bang. 3 hole punches was clever as hell, and it got a chuckle out of me, liked that one. Mod powers was alright, and I loved the wordplay and the delivery of protractors bar. Barc, you’ve got talent man, I just think you need to work on your concepts and wording a little more. Again, that’s only my opinion.
Sharp: Baller opener with Canadian text battler / Verizon culture. HOF bar was my favorite out of the verse, hilarious and squashed him in that bar alone. I absolutely love your closer, Carrie, UPN, Borat. Sharp, this verse was fucking Sharp. You burned the site down with that type of fire. You deserved that extension.
Overall: *In Bruce Buffers voice, with all of his enthusiasm* and the winner goes too ..... the one with the teachers salary and plays with kids all day legally .... SHARP. Sharp you brought it this week, and changed the game with that verse. Barc, you are talented, just work on wording and concepts. I’m not sure if this was fair game, but there’s an algorithm so? Congrats Sharp. I love to see a boss ass verse like the one you brought. Time to teach the kids how the rap game goes for extra creds.

Ajax vs Orc: <3<3<3<3 4/5
Hot hot hot battle, gentlemen. This was a flamethrower. Ajax, you’re from UPN correct? If I’m correct you are the lawyer that Matty, I mean Zuch, has said only great things about. He really looks up to you and your writing. I’m honored to have a chance to read a verse of yours and it was incredible. You have a unique style that deserves praise, and I can see why Zuch loves it so much. Orc, you have incredible style. Your punches sting, I felt like they were smacking me in the face and five staring me every time I read another. This was a great matchup.
Ajax: I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this, but there is pure intelligence laced in your verse. The way you write, and the vocabulary, all very intelligent. Very unique, in a great way, style with a tight opener. Half dome, sexual skill, leprechaun, ace ventura, all of these bars killed me. Sending you my medical bill for my ribs because you had me leaning. Expert level wordplay, flow and delivery, smooth and silky. Rhythm like you were born with it. I definitely see Matthews infatuation with your writing, welcome to the league.
Orc: Holy hell my dude, your style and delivery is just as impressive and impeccable. Going to be honest, your opener confused the hell out of me, I was like Ajax isn’t Cashius .... I know who Cashius is and they are two different people? And, then I felt stupid and got it lol. I feel like you had a glock and just pulled the trigger and every time a killer bar came out. UPN bar burned the house down, third degree bar, SoundCloud, khabib, fucking took the cake. Your closer just proved once again why you’re a HOFer. I hope you continue to come back every week to show off your talent.
Overall: Beautiful battle, gentlemen. You both are expert level writers, clear concepts, smooth and silky delivery. You both brought hella humor to each verse. I love seeing so much pure skill and talent, that I have a hard time choosing someone for my vote. This was a close call, you both deserve praise. After all though, I will have to hand this one to Orc. I only say this because he had more personals and his punches were stronger due to that fact. Ajax, the only thing I would say is to work on Zuckerberg fact finding the next one you are up against, it goes a long way. Welcome to the league, Ajax. Orc, continue to burn down the roof.



Brokenhal0 vs Universe: <3<3<3 3/5
Battlewise, I didn’t feel much of a strong battle. Only due to the fact that the pair up was off. Universe is in a whole other weight class. Universe deserves to be a part of the fight of the night, the ones after 8pm, and brokenhal0 is a prelim. Don’t get me wrong, brokenhal0, you have potential, it just needs some work.
Brokenhal0: You are definitely improving, which is important. That’s the key, and that’s all that it takes. I like your concept of tying in his name into the opener and wordplaying with his name, but the wording definitely needs work and the concept itself does, as well. Work on having more stand out shots, maybe finding personals. Delivery could be smoother. Definitely needs work in the wording and wordplay arena. You have pure talent though, I see your skills. You’ve improved greatly just from last week, I know you’ll get there! Keep up the work, you’ll get there!
Universe: Like Queen B says, “Flawless. I woke up like thisssss.” This verse was flawless. I feel like you don’t even have to work hard to put something incredible together. Universe started the fire! It’s always been burning, since the worlds been turning .... Universe started the fire! Opener was solid, fresh, original. Opener started the whole verse out on the right track. Covid 19, CaPiTaL LeTtErS, Brochure, Shallow Halibut, Wifey, Slice of Life, man you really impressed me with this verse. You are out of this world. Out of this universe! You’re underrated for sure, and you deserve more praise on this site. You show your talent, and you have smooth delivery. The concepts are all there, the wordplay and wording is fire. You know how to rhyme and make me laugh at the same time. This was refreshing, original, everything this league and site needs. Single handily, you took the cake on this one.
Overall: Absolutely loved the skill come out in Universe. It’s amazing to see such excellent performance. Everyone needs to praise him more for his hard work. Brokenhal0 could use some work, but you’re improving and that’s all that matters. Stay dedicated, take everyone’s advice, and work hard and you’ll get there, taking over battles and leagues. Universe blew it out of the park for me, jaw dropper. Congrats, and good work to the both of you.






Mod of War, Wanderer, Spree, Resin, and Defiant: I am truly sorry to hear about your opponent no showing. I’m sure your verse would’ve taken the cake anyway! Good luck next time guys, I’m sorry I did not have the honor to review your incredible work this week. We’ll see what next week has to bring though, and at least it’s another win for you guys!

Overall Week 3: TOP iLL, Destroyer, Blue, Ajax, Orc, Universe, Mac, and Adverse all blew it out of the park this week. In my opinion for WEEK 3:
Hottest Battle: Destroyer and Blue
Best Newbie Fire: Ajax and Universe (I know you both have been around for a long time, but you both came out this week and turned into arsonists on this site.)
Hottest Comebacks/HOFers: ( Comebacks as in, dropping fire each week and again this week. Always dropping my jaw and can’t wait for the next weeks verse.)
Hottest Underrated Writers: Mac and Adverse (Hot as hell. They both bring the body bag when they show up to battle, knowing they are going to take the cake.) Good job to everyone who came through this week, you’re all incredible writers.


Verse of the week

Blue Bayou vs Destroyer


Sup old man…How’s T-Mobile?!


first it was cashius, then zelph, the lines were just so crazy
shiiit the miscarriage bars never get old.. and neither does your baby
it’s nothin, huge shells start poppin’ at ya kitchen
i’m known for being attached to a case, you sell pop sockets for a livin’
my data plan is unlimited, loaded with some range
your dada plan squirted out in the toilet and floated for a day
45 with no savings, wife screaming “where did our life go yo”?!
only Big Picture success you’ve had lately was stealing her an IPhone Pro
pudgy & bald married an addict, i hope you both carry a will
knew you were unfit parents before i learned shit about your parenting skills
i bet her drinking killed the baby, tit whiskey in an 80’s Challenger
think back you’ll Catcher in The Rye, Holden a Bloody Mess.. no J.D. Salinger
goneee at you rappin like you’re sportin’ a blicky..
yeahh Des ur strapped w/ an arm-extended, blood pressure’s important at 50
so stop it, you got no shooters or any gangs to call
if i’m Triggered i’m just pissed your wack style gets any praise at all





No Show Heat

Resin vs SmasH



How u been at this for yrs & STILL act like a sophmore..
you a fake, Smash. This mahfucka wouldn’t even be considered Soft Porn.
Listen here money, your death makes me scoff more
When I take ur body into Account, best believe it ends up somewhere Off Shore
You Inbred prick. I’m here to debunk you..
It aint roughhousing when your Cousin makes u say Uncle.
You not wanted.. leave is what ur suppose to do
You’re a cancer, kid.. if Babe Ruth was alive he woulda hit a homerun for you.
This bitch is a loser, depressed, but the plot just thickened
Maann BangBus was the last time we saw a Smash driven



Power Rankings

1. Blue Bayou 3-0

2. Top iLL 3-0

3. Hush 2-0

4. Username 2-0

5. Sharp 2-1

6. Dave 2-1

7. Orc 2-0

8. Destroyer 2-1

9. Adverse 2-1

10. Spree 2-1


UPN vs NC Throwbacks

NBL SEASON 10

Allen Knight vs Jayfresh

u curry eatin patel last name havin indian pussy..


ya moms blows me till i bust on her face, that dame suckin
i hit that Cougar w/ a shot to the head like i was big game hunting
ur gettin murked in front of ur D/R, im'a stop u ock
there wont be a Fanta see u ever bubble in this shit after i pop ur top
i'll shoot ya fat slut w/ no remorse, shells'll spread violent
idc if she's Wide Receiver death certificate after her chest 8-1 like Dez Bryant
ur indian w/ a huge bitch & stupid religion, u wack fuck
isn't it sacrilegious to be eatin Cow? but u stay goin down on the fat slut
squad'll run up on u w/ guns drawn, hollows slammin this queer
my team'll light up this fuckin bitch from every angle... thats a vanity mirror
wen ya sis see's me its to the bed, she gotta sick body
she dont play Oritz me its straight to smashin till she calls me Big Papi
ur ol girl will get fucked brutal, u'd cringe honest
i'll take Jayson X & cut her so hard they'll make a whole trilogy spin off it
but now u came out the closet, ya family say u buggin
ur BF's names Mannie, Fresh & yah'll snapchat storys are a gay Production




Fracture vs Galv 2002, PBA Season 1


I’m so ill I can sum up your whole verse in two lines of effort
“You look like a scrawny ass Sisqo, & my rhymes are better”
But the lines are old, & the way you wrote em’ was wack too
Plus you copped half your idea’s from Defc0n's chatroom
Everybody wants the upset, but your too scared to touch it
I’ll suffocate you with the bag ya make ya girlfriend wear in public
You're just a pissed off Stan cause I never wrote a letter to you
How u in this.. when Tay, SOD, & Resin are all better than you?
I’ve whooped your ass before, had ya bleeding a river
Cause I fist fucked ya mom while you was being delivered
You came in this like a tank steady poppin ya gun
But now the only tank you’ll need will be an oxygen one
After seeing the background of ya pic, I bet ya dignities gone
It looks like ya mom gave ya the couch I took her virginity on
Step to me and I’ll strangle ya neck until ya opticals red
Even doctors are in my fanclub, so you won’t get a hospital bed
That pic shows the damage caused when I had ya alone
But why did you use your girls pussy shavings to bandage ya dome?
His girls on her period, that’s somethin’ u don’t see mentioned
I ate her at his show and blamed it on the nose bleed section
I’ll take ya face to the curb and smash back in
Speaking of chin check, Guinness should send a check for that chin
Corny bitch likes sniffin sugar, but that’s still so lame
You host the tonight show and can’t afford real cocaine?!
Proof wanted to send his pic, but he didn’t make the final
So he got under your coffee table, which explains ya smile
You AIM me judging other guys pics, that makes me nervous
Faggot ass, since when did the pba turn into a dating service?
You never win, while I’m always going for titles
Even though you’ll lose here, can I still catch ya vote in the finals?
Your like me, without the dope punchlines and smooth flow
I’ma put my name on the league and yours on a tombstone…


Top 10 Bars - Courtesy of Hush



10. I’m coming in firing. Not even looking, just ripping off shots
So u could say I’m either gonna Diorama put ur style into a box -Destro

Why its hot?? The wordplay works. Execution is simple and effective. Lands solid.
Why its not?? The wordplay is not working two ways and that's why this isnt ranked higher. The setup is relevant to the punch but vague and does not add any elements of sting.


9.CaPiTal LettERs advertised the truth; I don't consider many things used
It's not my business, but it proves Brochure can't deliver anything new... - Universe

Why its hot?? Flow is smooth as butter, concept ties in well with punch and setup. Works both ways.
Why its not?? Pretty sure this isn't the first time this wordplay has been used. Solid technical skills shown, but it isnt especially harsh or impactful.


8. This is a victory lap, I’m a product of Rudge1
The only lapping you do is with your tongue when you mop up a dude’s cum - Zuch

Why its hot?? Setup and punch link pefect. Solid wording no wasted syllables.
Why its not?? It's about licking a mans semen up.


7. I’m a lord of the ring. You’re a pitiful, hopeless disgrace…
SO many epic losses; the Tolkien be seen written all over your face. - Ajax

Why its hot?? On an opponent named Orc Tolkein lines are a given, but this angle is new to my eyes and is very clever. Setup served to strengthen the punch.
Why its not?? Only works one way, but the way it works is strong. Also a familiar angle on a popular NC battler, so other variations in the past take away sting.


6. They say you’re improving every week bro...but we’re yet to show any of ur bars respect
Automatic, hold the button down on Mac till everything goes BLACK that’s a hard reset - Adverse

Why its hot?? Very clever. His name is mac so automatic gun bars have been tried but never like this. Same with Macbook lines. Never done in this way and the double concept worked well here.
Why its not?? The setup did not help serve the punch here. Also Mac/gun Mac/computer bars have been done prior to Mac battling here. So double edged sword. Points given an taken for the flip here.

5. Aaiyo yall better wish this nigga some dear luck
cuz this battle an empty swear jar. I give zero fucks. - Jayson Fresh

Why its hot?? Simple. Mean. Effective.
Why its not?? Simplicity can be seen as boring.

4. First it was the gunbar boys, now UPN.. Fuck, you're lame
You just follow cliques around cause you ain’t got a clue like old adventure games - Sharp

Why its hot?? - I loved those old school games great creativity and imagery here. Good personal angle. Double angle with the clicks wp and the clue games. Alot going on here.
Why its not?? Wording was clunky for some reason. Setup could have been more intricate.


3. pudgy & bald married an addict, i hope you both carry a will
knew you were unfit parents before i learned shit about your parenting skills - Blue Bayou

Why its hot?? Flawless use of the setup here imo. Personal ammo used pretty effectively. Never seen this flip. I like this alot
Why its not?? I love this bar.


2. Middle-aged UPN battlers ain’t got shit for me
Yikes. Dreamt of being Attorney General & finally won one in ur mid 40s - Orc

Why its hot?? Its a good wordplay. Its a good personal. Has impact. Feels mean.
Why its not?? This is great.


1. Your whole squad is soft dog you can’t play with the outlaws
I’ll have ya circle left in bags like you’re training for a southpaw - Dave/Evad

Why its hot?? This is crazy. What can I say. Creativity off the fucking charts. Wording is perfect. Memorable and unique.
Why its not?? Easily best shit I seen in awhile and should be remembered as one of the bars of the season.

Previews

UserName 2-0 vs Dave 2-1 Contender Match

Two of my boys from UPN. User took the week off last week, and is hungry to get back at it. Dave is coming off an underwhelming W. But I don’t expect him to underperform two weeks in a row. User is pretty reliable to come with heat. He’s one of the best still doing it. Dave has his hands full, but if there’s one guy you don’t want to cast off to lose it’s him. I expect some fire from both of these guys. Great matchup. Winner here writes for the championship next week.

Username -120

destroyer 2-1 vs universe 1-2

This should be a good one. Destroyer had one of the best verses last week, and Universe is a hot up-and-comer. Des isn’t the most consistent guy in the world, and tends to be on and off. I’m expecting a close one here as long as Universe can keep gettting better each week. I’m gonna give the slight edge to Des.


Des -160

HUSH 2-0 vs Zuch 3-0 Contender Match

Not gonna really preview my own match as Top iLL. All I can say is Hush has been hot lately and this won’t be easy. Looking forward to a fire match. Winner writes for the championship next week.

EVEN

Sinacog 0-2 vs Shredder

Sinacog is trash. Not sure who Shredder is. All he has to do is show up. Interested in seeing what he’s got.

Shredder -10,000

Jayfresh 1-1 vs INF 1-2

Jayfresh has been writing well this season. Definitely a guy you gotta keep an eye on going forward. He’s got a formidable opponent in INF. INF has a tendency to go over people’s heads sometimes. As long as he keeps things relevant he can beat a lot of people in this league. I got Jayfresh here in a close one but don’t sleep on INF.

Jayfresh -180

Allen Knight 0-1 vs Culture 0-0

I don’t know anything about Culture. Somebody told me he is good so we will have to wait and see. Allen is a legend around these parts who never shows up. But I am going to pretend he shows and give him the nod here. He brings heat when he does show. Very clever with the punches and has some good wit. Culture has a tough match ahead of him in this one so he’s gonna have to come with it.

Allen Knight -200

Sharp 2-1 vs Adverse 2-1

Adverse is another guy that has been getting better every week. Really enjoy reading his verses. Has a couple Ws already for a hot start. He is paired up with Sharp this week, who has had a monster start, as well. Sharp is my dark horse in this league. UPN style and witty hits. Implements smart humor as well which I love. Gonna be a good battle but I’m going Sharp here.

Sharp -200

ispaz 1-1 vs Blue Bayou 3-0

Blue Bayou is a force to be reckoned with. Crazy verse last week, and is in no position to stop. iSpaz has ben cool so far, but he’s got his hands full this week. I got Blue as long as he shows up at a decent level.

Blue -500



Wanderer 2-1 vs Mod of War 1-0

I doubt Zelph shows up. Wanderer has been consistent this year and I think is improving with every verse. Zelph is gonna probably post a no show verse and hope the other guy doesn’t post. Wanderer will show up, therefore Wanderer will win.

Wanderer -260


Eviction 0-0 vs FGR 0-0

FGR is cool. I don’t know who eviction is. Gonna give the nod to FGR just based on his writing in pic league. Solid writer with some funny bars. Eviction is new and will have to prove himself.

FGR -300


Aero 0-1 vs Spree 2-1

Spree is a good writer who wasn’t able to vote much so far, so his ranking isn’t as high as his record would show. Now that I moved voting to the weekend, I expect he will make a jump. Aero is funny, but gets writers block easily. Hopefully he can overcome it this week because I really look forward to his bars. I’m gonna go Aero if he’s at full strength, but wouldn’t be surprised if Spree got the W.

Aero -180


Cred 0-1 vs King 0-0

Don’t know King. Aero told me he is good so hopefully he shows and can bring that fire. Cred is one of my favorite writers. I tend to check his archives out because he is clever with the gun bars. Looking forward to this one to see what these guys bring to the table.

Cred -140




Resin MIC 1-0 vs Brokenhal0 0-2

Halo has been subpar so far, but has potential. Resin is a walking heat stick so I don’t see much trouble for him here. Off to a good start and look forward to seeing what he has in store for us this week.

Resin -1,500





Outro

Thanks for reading guys. Everyone have a great week!


Zuch

[Hush]

Masterful mag and sway work


A true power couple

[Adverse]

Dope mag, you guys always bring awesome content and I appreciate that.

Also honored to be in power rankings and top punches this week.

Sharp is one of my favorite writers on the site so I’m excited for this week

[King]

Good shit.

lmao @ cred meme

[iSpaz]

Dope

[Allen Knight]

Fire & im showin.

[Smod of War]

Originally Posted by Allen Knight

Fire & im showin.

[bleak]

lmk if you need help with these

[evaD]

Amazing work team. Lmaooo @ the cred meme. Sorry if I disappointed this week Jamie.

Number 1 punch two weeks running tho let’s goo
@Allen Knight that vanity mirror bar is fire

[Mac]

great stuff, props for boths you and jaime, awesome work.

all the memes were on point... username should open a meme page or something

[Blue Bayou]

Fire from all again... Lol loving the positivity Jaime is bringing to the table
Memes were all amazing again
I disagree with a lot of the top punches and think some others were left out but hey, I can appreciate it all comes down to personal preference

Good stuff everyone

[Hush]

Originally Posted by Blue Bayou

Fire from all again... Lol loving the positivity Jaime is bringing to the table
Memes were all amazing again
I disagree with a lot of the top punches and think some others were left out but hey, I can appreciate it all comes down to personal preference

Good stuff everyone

Let me know what I missed
Let me know what don’t belong

[evaD]

Please don’t take my moment away from me blue

[Hush]

No way there was a better punch than that last wk

[Blue Bayou]

@evaD lmao never ...circle left was firee
@Hush all good brother.. you like what you like and vice versa
No hate at all... it was just my very quick personal two cents...we've always been a bit different when it comes to style pref and there's nothing wrong with that

[Eviction]

cool mag, how do I get in the discord?

[Hush]

https://discord.gg/M69K9D

@Eviction

[Universe]

I can't help but feel partly responsible for this mag's title...

And Jamie's reviews may be the best thing about netcees right now.

[Orc]

This was brilliant. You have a beautiful wife and a beautiful baby. I’m happy for you, man. Memes were fire once again. The Ajax one hahaha

[Cred]

Yeah this mags dope.

Props to all involved fr