Week 2: MMLP vs. Maximus (MMLP WINS 6-2)

[symetrik]

MMLP's PIECE

I’m setting a standard you’re refusing to see.
This is meant to be rap. Be fluent in speech,

this has good flow. The simplicity of the rhymes and whatnot make it easy to read, and the content in entirety is extremely human. not my type of style, but the straight forward, human aspect of this could sell the writing.


MAXIMUS'S PIECE

I lay reclined on my sofa, no concubines I'm a loner
That's cloistered like patients showing signs of ebola

a little lag in the flow but I got it and I love this line. this battle wasn't very interesting to me, just due to subjects.
this piece comes off as a little less real than the last one but ONLY because MMLP's piece was just straight raw talk.
the first part of this one was pretty raw though.

When my heart gets heavy like the lead used in pencils
These symphonies soothe my soul, every melody's gentle

GRAPHITE YOU FOOL.

MMLP came off as a little cocky, despite the realness. Maximus's piece came across as forced in some places, but deeper imagery.
MVGT @Maximus, but honestly eh.