Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Vault > Archives > The Netcees archive > Martyrs to an Abstract Cause

User Tag List

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-23-2015, 07:34 PM   #1
Vulgar
Razor-thin derision
 
Vulgar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25

Accomplishments
- OM HOF

Champed
- Fight Night LIV
- Gimmick Battle League (2x)
- Write Week II
- Art of Writing League
- Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament
- STI
- Haiku Writer Challenge
- GWL Picture Challenge(2x)

Rep Power: 49604316
Vulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant future
Default 6. Fig vs. dead man - (dead man wins NS)

You've been enlisted for an abstract cause.

NO LINE LIMIT
VOTE ON OTHER BATTLES (thanks)

Verses Due Sunday Morning.
Midnight Western / 3 AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
(Extensions only granted if opponent accepts, anything else is unaccepted.)

Voting Ends Monday Night
12 AM Western / 3AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
Exceptions can be made if a suitable reason is supplied
Remember The Earlier The Verses In The Sooner The Votes
Have Fun
Peace


Topic:



@Fig @dead man

Last edited by Vulgar; 05-23-2015 at 07:57 PM.
Vulgar is offline  
Old 05-24-2015, 12:20 AM   #2
Fig
Om
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6,473
Battle Record: 8-16



Rep Power: 84181559
Fig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant futureFig has a brilliant future
Default

I'm here
__________________
BIRDHORSE 8-15
Fig is offline  
Old 05-24-2015, 02:51 PM   #3
dead man
living
 
dead man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,465
Battle Record: 33-18

Accomplishments
- Hall of Fame

Champed
- AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 4
- Write Week V
- GWL Season 1

Rep Power: 77606676
dead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant future
Default

yessir
__________________
Zack Wicks for president
dead man is offline  
Old 05-31-2015, 03:29 PM   #4
dead man
living
 
dead man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,465
Battle Record: 33-18

Accomplishments
- Hall of Fame

Champed
- AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 4
- Write Week V
- GWL Season 1

Rep Power: 77606676
dead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant future
Default

i dont think ill be able to post a full submission tonight.

lost a good amount in the crash yesterday and ive only managed to rewrite like 12 or so lines. really havent been feeling it. i wont be home tonight but if @Vulgar doesnt want extensions i will post what i have from my phone, no worries

sorry figs
__________________
Zack Wicks for president
dead man is offline  
Old 05-31-2015, 03:44 PM   #5
Vulgar
Razor-thin derision
 
Vulgar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25

Accomplishments
- OM HOF

Champed
- Fight Night LIV
- Gimmick Battle League (2x)
- Write Week II
- Art of Writing League
- Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament
- STI
- Haiku Writer Challenge
- GWL Picture Challenge(2x)

Rep Power: 49604316
Vulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant future
Default

Ext's are allowed if Fig allows it.
Vulgar is offline  
Old 06-01-2015, 09:53 PM   #6
dead man
living
 
dead man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,465
Battle Record: 33-18

Accomplishments
- Hall of Fame

Champed
- AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 4
- Write Week V
- GWL Season 1

Rep Power: 77606676
dead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant future
Default

bubblegum memory i chewed up to spit
let me sink. i refuse to resist. as confusion persists
consider truth as a computer glitch. re-looping a stitch
like wool sweaters, rainy weather and a soupy consistency
who do you consider me? as human or print?
we're all just building monuments to prove we existed
bubble foam, i'm the one alone. electromagnet thunderdome
watercolor collarbone. saturated summer solstice
sepia sulfur stone. there's nothing but blood and bone
joint and jugular, juggling our jobs and the juxtaposed
the runaway who's running home. it's strange to describe
in phrases that rhyme. making manifest and cadence align
peel away your fleshy flaps and paint it inside
dormant is the darkness pervading. let it shine
blue gene denim waves. neon navy the tides
cut up a cadaver just to make me a bride
melt into a drowning pool to make me responsive
pallet paintbrush coordinate a technicolor conscious.........


DEADMAN
__________________
Zack Wicks for president
dead man is offline  
Old 06-02-2015, 01:58 PM   #7
UnbornBuddha
Senior Member
 
UnbornBuddha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
Battle Record: 23-10


Champed
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 5

Rep Power: 23856375
UnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant future
Default

Deadman, I will comment again since my feed on your open mic, Giant, was deleted and returned back into the cyber nebula when the site rebooted itself. The beginning wasn't your strongest, you usually have a much more captivating entry into the world of whatever verse you are presenting. I also liked how you used the colors of the pieces, and brought them to life, and even made the reader relate to the image more easily. A fun picture, I might add. It definitely sparks the creation of the creative juices. I thought these lines were stupendous.

"ubble foam, i'm the one alone. electromagnet thunderdome
watercolor collarbone. saturated summer solstice
sepia sulfur stone. there's nothing but blood and bone
joint and jugular, juggling our jobs and the juxtaposed
the runaway who's running home"

That part is as close to perfect as perfect can get, imo. The rest was cool, good job.
UnbornBuddha is offline  
Old 06-02-2015, 02:07 PM   #8
Certain
Mad fucking dangerous.
 
Certain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,072
Battle Record: 40-19


Champed
- AOWL Season 3
- Art of Writing League (2x)

Rep Power: 85899402
Certain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond repute
Default

I'm voting for @Fig, who did exactly what we all knew he could.
__________________
I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.
Certain is offline  
Old 06-02-2015, 02:24 PM   #9
Clutbuck
Battle Rap's Married Man
 
Clutbuck's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Crumpetville, England
Posts: 389
Battle Record: 2-0


Champed
- Gorilla Writing league

Rep Power: 3513497
Clutbuck has a brilliant futureClutbuck has a brilliant futureClutbuck has a brilliant futureClutbuck has a brilliant futureClutbuck has a brilliant futureClutbuck has a brilliant futureClutbuck has a brilliant futureClutbuck has a brilliant futureClutbuck has a brilliant futureClutbuck has a brilliant futureClutbuck has a brilliant future
Default

who do you consider me? as human or print?
we're all just building monuments to prove we existed
bubble foam, i'm the one alone. electromagnet thunderdome
watercolor collarbone. saturated summer solstice
sepia sulfur stone. there's nothing but blood and bone
joint and jugular, juggling our jobs and the juxtaposed
the runaway who's running home. it's strange to describe
in phrases that rhyme. making manifest and cadence align

damn that whole section was flames

loved the neon blue line too but that section was the clear standout for me

awesome picture too this one

loved it
Clutbuck is offline  
Old 06-03-2015, 02:58 PM   #10
Geno
White Earl
 
Geno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Philly Cat.
Posts: 12,313
Battle Record: 10-15

Accomplishments
- Open Mic HOF (4x)

Champed
- Netcees Writers League
- Write Week I
- Write Week 8

Rep Power: 50036758
Geno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant future
Send a message via AIM to Geno
Default

thought this was dope af
ive done this alot where as i would kind of describe in an abstract way what i see in the picture instead of coming up with an idea and telling a story. not sure if anyone remembers the old battles from aowl 1

anyway.. this was great, packed with heavy rhymes and schemes wich i love to read from you -you hold together a tightly knit piece all the time and spare no wonderful thoughts because of it. i love a writer that can do this and have no slips in smoothness when it comes to the read. the concepts were dope. good showing
__________________
-A.bove T.he R.est
Geno is offline  
Old 06-03-2015, 04:29 PM   #11
Vulgar
Razor-thin derision
 
Vulgar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25

Accomplishments
- OM HOF

Champed
- Fight Night LIV
- Gimmick Battle League (2x)
- Write Week II
- Art of Writing League
- Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament
- STI
- Haiku Writer Challenge
- GWL Picture Challenge(2x)

Rep Power: 49604316
Vulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant future
Default

Vibrant, sauced, if a bit smug because Fig hoe-showed.

I feel like I just had a carton of Tang, along with a few capsules of lemon-flavored Vitamin C tablets, served with steaming hot water.

Quote:
who do you consider me? as human or print?
we're all just building monuments to prove we existed
bubble foam, i'm the one alone. electromagnet thunderdome
watercolor collarbone. saturated summer solstice
Doooope. You know how to paint.

Thanks for showing!
Vulgar is offline  
Old 06-04-2015, 08:23 AM   #12
fraze
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 913
Battle Record: 14-24



Rep Power: 32898722
fraze has a brilliant futurefraze has a brilliant futurefraze has a brilliant futurefraze has a brilliant futurefraze has a brilliant futurefraze has a brilliant futurefraze has a brilliant futurefraze has a brilliant futurefraze has a brilliant futurefraze has a brilliant futurefraze has a brilliant future
Default

Really powerful rhymes you clearly have a command of the mechanics, but I don't feel like the verse was very focused. That said, it was something of a random picture, so I get it, but it would have been nice to see you bind some structure of your making to the chaos in the scene. Very enjoyable read nonetheless, looking forward to viewing more.
fraze is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:56 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+