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Old 02-02-2019, 08:24 PM   #1
Pharaohs Army
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Default semi-dead man verse 2

So you


call me manic/depressed, because I can't rest
Pearl necklace on the nape of your neck
Paid my respects. Walked around the parking lot making threats
Took the subway just to go one block over
Are you in a coma? You've been distant, 'n colder
Waiting in my trench, like a turn of the century soldier
I tried So Hard and all I have to show for it is some folk art
Humphrey Bogart. I need another take
For me to cuddle I'd have to be awake
Faint glares; now it's just blank stares
The worst day of my life was when you told me you don't care
I look around 'n think we could have kids playing over there
For me, it was too much commitment
I'm such a dip-shit, and a misfit
Modes of silence; how many years do you wish to throw away?
When you go away I'm stricken with so much pain
As much use, as a dirty signpost, you can put a stake through
Getting used to it darling; Does he appreciate you?
What can I do? Can I ameliorate
the situation. Are you just testing my patience?
Blank slate; thoughts nascent. What do you expect? We live in a depressed
nation.
Trying so hard to erase it
with an empty keg in the basement
Fuck, where to begin?, Club soda with gin
Tip the bartender. Reassure my lenders
I've never had money. My credit's bad, honey
Sunny days evaporate the wet mud of my circumstance
Took a chance. Got burned, like the rest
It's my turn to take the test. Whisper the answers
You changed the day we heard of Molly's cancer
Please don't call me whimsical
A frolicking romancer
In the early days
I heard you say to end the third act of the play
Well. Make peace with me
And change scenery. No more greenery
The spice garden wilts in your absence
Filled up with absinthe. I don't water it
Yet I tolerate all of it
until the day we call it quits.



PA
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Old 02-02-2019, 09:39 PM   #2
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lmao aight I’ve got this

mundane Monday morning commute. toss a Tylenol capsule
bus full of 4am wake up calls and 5 o clock shadows
driving an arrow through the boom-boom heart in my chest
left you for breakfast with Benson and Hedges. start to reflect
where Narcissus left off. muddy puddle beautification
usually paved with the best intentions. soup kitchen flavoured
realism. with an added slice of lime for the soul
reminds me of home, wherever that was. I’ll get my coat.
winter warmer bricks and mortar. rent paid for the month
bank statements lay crumbled disturbing traces of dust.
ashtray full of butts you kissed. overstaying your welcome
maybe I helped with that not seeing I was partly the cause.
arguments formed like bad habits and grew hard to ignore.
sparse-lit sojourns. time to re-evaluate where I’m headed
taking it steady. retracing old steps we made here already.
sage on spaghetti carbonara. our first meal and our last
revealed what we had was a tangled mess neither could grasp

unappealing and bland.
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Old 02-03-2019, 02:28 AM   #3
Pharaohs Army
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Good one Lars.
left you for breakfast with Benson and Hedges. start to reflect

reminds me of home, wherever that was. I’ll get my coat.
Lol

Meh. I think my first half is clean but I ended weak.

Last edited by Pharaohs Army; 02-03-2019 at 03:13 AM.
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Old 02-09-2019, 10:11 PM   #4
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lmao these are great.
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Old 02-09-2019, 10:13 PM   #5
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bye
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Old 02-09-2019, 10:22 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dead man View Post
lmao these are great.
Thanks means a lot.
There's obviously some flaws but if i keep practicing there will be a good one some day.
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Old 02-12-2019, 10:01 AM   #7
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Default

Quote:
Are you in a coma?
Lol


Quote:
Waiting in my trench, like a turn of the century soldier
I tried So Hard and all I have to show for it is some folk art
Humphrey Bogart. I need another take
Doesn’t dead man write everything in lower case letters? I think you forgot to do that part. Anyway, I dug the Humphrey Bogart inclusion and how you tied it into “I need another take”. Clever.


Quote:
It's my turn to take the test. Whisper the answers
Dope

Quote:
You changed the day we heard of Molly's cancer
Lmao you’re out of control.

Quote:
Please don't call me whimsical
A frolicking romancer
In the early days
I heard you say to end the third act of the play
Well. Make peace with me
And change scenery. No more greenery
The spice garden wilts in your absence
Filled up with absinthe. I don't water it
Yet I tolerate all of it
until the day we call it quits.
Ended strongly. Rhythm. Flow. Pacing. Language. Imagery. Emotion. It had a good balance of everything listed.

Overall, this was entertaining. I enjoyed it.
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Old 02-18-2023, 12:06 AM   #8
Pharaohs Army
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@Diablo ORRr @Aero
@Activate_Self
Orrrr Anyone,
Quickk 8-16 "pseudo dead man verse"

***DUEEEE TUESS.. Gents... Thanks hopefully he's "in the mood" like last time...cya soon...quick, b4 the real him posts. Jk. can't wait
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Old 02-18-2023, 12:32 AM   #9
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Wack nigger
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Old 02-20-2023, 01:00 PM   #10
Pharaohs Army
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Default dead man mimic-verse (3rd attempt)

empty promises & broken dreams
so it seems we were broken teens
always chasing the dopamine,
[etc

?if you told me what i did wrong
i wouldn’t have to write
-this song

therapy sessions
where did we end it?
a mile & a half, up the winding path, while we smile and laugh

my thoughts are flames
pondering what (to do/move/) next on the stock exchange
meanwhile, i forgot your name

i was sure you were it…
i slur when i spit,
maybe it’s the bourbon & gin
“jim & jack” can fill you in on why i wasn’t heard from again


-PA

================================================== =====

There’s a SHORT 16 on an 8-16 request for Lars or Aero...Or dead man himself….anyone except LGI….

I am NOT fucking around with lyrics these days, guys.
It’s just 3 quick 3-line bridges and a quatrain closer with booze.
I whipped this up BEFORE I analyze “Probably”…so as to not be too “recently influenced”...if that makes sense.

Keep droppin, all in fun~
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Old 02-20-2023, 01:59 PM   #11
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ive been,

thinking about thinking about you. haven’t managed it yet
I hang up regretting the idea before you even answer my texts.
anxious deep breaths. heavy breathing down the end of the line
went and declined the call before your cell connected to mine.
everything’s fine. I tell myself until I start to believe it
harder to keep shit ‘real’ than admit we’re only human sometimes
it’s part of the remit. keeping your head while losing your mind
being upset but refusing to try and keep it in check.
memories the sepia lenses on my rose-tinted glasses
broke and detached
cold and abandoned
nobody answers.


- d.man
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Old 02-20-2023, 08:43 PM   #12
Pharaohs Army
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@sral @Diablo
good / complex flow/rhyme "curveball" with the part of the remit bit
executed nicely, and is a nice variation so as to avoid a robotic multi-verse
good tone & anxiety about the cell phone interaction...
basically "dead man" FIRE, like mine above it...

HE HAS REVEALED HIS FORMULA TO US ALL


**will be more serious & feed "Probably", by tomorrow. Probably**
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