[Round 1] 6. Cracker barrel rape dragons vs 7. Bars [Bars advances]

[Answer]

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Check in by 12/31/2021 at 11:59 p.m. EST
You won't be disqualified if you don't check in, but please just do it. It's a common courtesy
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Verses due Tuesday, 1/4/2022 at 11:59 p.m. EST (yes, Eastern)
It's a lot of time and not a lot of lines, don't ask for extensions
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8 lines per team, no more & no less
If both teams agree to it, you can do more than 8 lines. 8 is the absolute minimum.
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All the usual rules apply (No biting, recycling, pm'ing for votes, etc.)

If you complete your verse early, feel free to post it or send it to me via PM. I will only post verses once both teams have submitted.

Don't bitch about votes. If you have any complaints, PM me directly and I will assess the situation. Votes without explanations or that appear to be aliases will not be accepted

@Ghost1 @uh-oh @Diablo @Barcotic

[Barcotic]

Barc/Diablo:

Originally Posted by Answer

6. Cracker Barrel Rape Dragons (Bags/Uh-Oh)
In retrospect I ranked these two way too high and they should definitely be below Barc/Diablo.

Facts

I've yet to find a reason for the pairing or someone who digs this booking
But at least we'll see nc's Main Coon team with one of the biggest pussies
Bags. Let's talk about u and ur fat spouse cuz boyyy u aren't good
The floor is lava; bitch stays on the couch to avoid your hardwood
That last bucket you were with was a boobless hoe, monster!
Jehovah's witness; no one wants anything to do with those knockers
Father to a fucking meth child. Mom regrets you and the courts kno
Cicada admit you dated a bug that actually left you and the corn rows
Bags a single parent to a dirty kid by some worthless bitch
uhohs pops is a stay at home dad too... his still lives with him at 36
what’s worse is Jim can’t even picture himself with women
not only are you a cancer to this website, you could form your own Incel division
Bags babymom a 3 for $50/10. ain’t a decent vain either side her crotch
fuck an omnicron variant, that dogfaced bitch a Booster & both her pfizer shot
this guy has gone from powerlifts to hour sitting clued up on books
Home Gyms are a great idea. teaming with the antisocial retard’s stupid as fuck

[uh-oh]

THUNDER RUMBLES AND CLOUDS PART AND DOWN COMES A SINGLE FIGURE. ITS A BIRD. ITS A PLANE. ITS.. DA GOD

(YALL GOT GUNS?)
OUT THE COAT I'M WIELDING LOBSTERS. FUCK BARCS LIFE
HANDS? WORRY BOUT FEET. THE GILA MONSTER LIKE LARS WIFE
(FUCKS WITH HER FACE?)
BITCH GOT CLEAR TEETH. HORROR FLICKS? I'D FEAR SLEEP
LAYING NEXT TO THAT WEIRD BITCH REEKING LIKE DEER MEAT
(SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE STINKS!)
AND BARCS LADY? I DONT KNOW HER BUT SHE CAN'T BE A WINNER
DUDE CUTS GRASS AND TRIMS BUSHES TO GIVE HIS FAMILY A DINNER
(HE PUSSY)
I'LL ADMIT I RESPECT IT AND THE HUSTLE HE HAS
BUT HE'S CANADIAN. SO END OF THE DAY HE'S A NOTHING. A FAG
(TRUDEAU A HO)

IMA CHILL, AY BAGS, GET THESE FOOLS

YO LARS FUCKS A WRINKLED MONKEY LADY LEGIT//
POST UP ON YA BOY I BALL LIKE A CRIPPLE...U GET SMACKED IN THE FACE W A BRICK
LOOK BARC CICADA RAGE QUIT EVERYBATTLE URINE//
PROLLUM IS THE FLOOR IS LAVA AN THE COUCH BURNT IT

HOLD UP BAGS HOLD UP CHILL FAM I'MA END THIS

THESE NIGGAS IS GAY. THEY DON'T GOTTA BE HEARD OR SEEN
THEY GONNA OVERRUN THE SHIT LIKE EMERGENCY OR COVID OR SOMETHING (EMERGE AND SEE.. ITS OVER)

[Zaddy]

I've yet to find a reason for the pairing or someone who digs this booking
But at least we'll see nc's Main Coon team with one of the biggest pussies
coon/pussy connection was fire, if you haven’t seen a raccoons vagina then you should look it up tbh
Bags. Let's talk about u and ur fat spouse cuz boyyy u aren't good
The floor is lava; bitch stays on the couch to avoid your hardwood
dope, it takes real patience and dedication to realize bags doesnt sit on his couch. And by that, his gf has no chance to possibly be on the hardwood floor or cocks tile. Also good hidden wp with the hardwood (cocks tile/cock style). Good bar
That last bucket you were with was a boobless hoe, monster!
Jehovah's witness; no one wants anything to do with those knockers
damn you guys are on a roll lol. Jevhova witness gotta be virgins, we don’t want to talk to those tits/knockers and they also are soooo annoying with going door to door KNOCKIN! Lol good shit here
Father to a fucking meth child. Mom regrets you and the courts kno
Cicada admit you dated a bug that actually left you and the corn rows
cicada/ it’s ok to is absolute fire. Jesus I wish I thought of that. Like why haven’t I been at work doing slant rhyme BUG wordplays. And cicadas DO INDEED have a huge rep for liking corn, hence the corn/rows of corn wordplay. Nice bar overall
Bags a single parent to a dirty kid by some worthless bitch
uhohs pops is a stay at home dad too... his still lives with him at 36
they literally all stay at home lol dope concept holy cow, bags kid also doesn’t shower and neither does uhoh/ pops
what’s worse is Jim can’t even picture himself with women
not only are you a cancer to this website, you could form your own Incel division
cancer/can sir, incels/in cells, division/ the vision. Can’t beat it. Good ass bar here
Bags babymom a 3 for $50/10. ain’t a decent vain either side her crotch
fuck an omnicron variant, that dogfaced bitch a Booster & both her pfizer shot
pfizer/thighs are, sick. This shits a banger
this guy has gone from powerlifts to hour sitting clued up on books
Home Gyms are a great idea. teaming with the antisocial retard’s stupid as fuck
gyms/jims, good closer here. Props



Vs


These CLOWNS clearly didn’t take the time to write for this exhibition. I fear they might be trolling and I’m just not sure what to think anymore smh…in no way whatsoever should barc/lars lose this.



Nah this shit is one sided af. Props to the legends barco and lar


Vote Bars

[kungfugrip]

Bars wins

That other verse wasnt good enough, also too many brackets and descriptors.

Vote Bars

[Finnydot]

Read both sides. Jim and bagga got this cuz they obv phoned this in. Loved it.

[dull boy]

Read both sides lol Standards for voting at an all time low when that needs specifying

Vote - Rape dragon because after hardwood floors I decided this was a garbage verse so I stopped reading. I finished Rape dragon’s verse because it was entertaining. Seems like the verse I was able to finish should get my vote.

[UserName]

V - Bars

Jehovahs Witness and Pfizer made me giggle, had the best two lines of the battle to me.

Cool battle everyone, I love you Jim.

[Answer]

I've yet to find a reason for the pairing or someone who digs this booking
But at least we'll see nc's Main Coon team with one of the biggest pussies

not feeling it

Bags. Let's talk about u and ur fat spouse cuz boyyy u aren't good
The floor is lava; bitch stays on the couch to avoid your hardwood

this is cool

That last bucket you were with was a boobless hoe, monster!
Jehovah's witness; no one wants anything to do with those knockers

i actually had a bar similar to this in a live battle, so its not fresh to me. okay though

Father to a fucking meth child. Mom regrets you and the courts kno
Cicada admit you dated a bug that actually left you and the corn rows

wp might work but im not 100% sold on the execution here

Bags a single parent to a dirty kid by some worthless bitch
uhohs pops is a stay at home dad too... his still lives with him at 36

i think this mightve made more sense if you said uh ohs a stay at home dad, he still lives with his pops at 36

what’s worse is Jim can’t even picture himself with women
not only are you a cancer to this website, you could form your own Incel division

i like this

Bags babymom a 3 for $50/10. ain’t a decent vain either side her crotch
fuck an omnicron variant, that dogfaced bitch a Booster & both her pfizer shot

ok

this guy has gone from powerlifts to hour sitting clued up on books
Home Gyms are a great idea. teaming with the antisocial retard’s stupid as fuck

not digging this closer


THUNDER RUMBLES AND CLOUDS PART AND DOWN COMES A SINGLE FIGURE. ITS A BIRD. ITS A PLANE. ITS.. DA GOD

(YALL GOT GUNS?)
OUT THE COAT I'M WIELDING LOBSTERS. FUCK BARCS LIFE
HANDS? WORRY BOUT FEET. THE GILA MONSTER LIKE LARS WIFE

ok, think you couldve done more with the connection between his wife and a lizard

(FUCKS WITH HER FACE?)
BITCH GOT CLEAR TEETH. HORROR FLICKS? I'D FEAR SLEEP
LAYING NEXT TO THAT WEIRD BITCH REEKING LIKE DEER MEAT

not digging it

(SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE STINKS!)
AND BARCS LADY? I DONT KNOW HER BUT SHE CAN'T BE A WINNER
DUDE CUTS GRASS AND TRIMS BUSHES TO GIVE HIS FAMILY A DINNER

very statement-ish

(HE PUSSY)
I'LL ADMIT I RESPECT IT AND THE HUSTLE HE HAS
BUT HE'S CANADIAN. SO END OF THE DAY HE'S A NOTHING. A FAG
(TRUDEAU A HO)

weak closer

IMA CHILL, AY BAGS, GET THESE FOOLS

YO LARS FUCKS A WRINKLED MONKEY LADY LEGIT//
POST UP ON YA BOY I BALL LIKE A CRIPPLE...U GET SMACKED IN THE FACE W A BRICK

eh

LOOK BARC CICADA RAGE QUIT EVERYBATTLE URINE//
PROLLUM IS THE FLOOR IS LAVA AN THE COUCH BURNT IT

nah, and technically this is grounds for a dq

THESE NIGGAS IS GAY. THEY DON'T GOTTA BE HEARD OR SEEN
THEY GONNA OVERRUN THE SHIT LIKE EMERGENCY OR COVID OR SOMETHING (EMERGE AND SEE.. ITS OVER)

digging those 2002 throwback bars



overall I'm glad james and bags dropped something even though its all trolling bs. It was partially entertaining but even as a troll verse, could've been funnier. barc/lars had some solid stuff. I was digging the incel division bar and the floor is lava bar is good as well despite all the extra commentary around it. Winner here is pretty apparent

v/ bars

[~RustyGunZ~]

OUT THE COAT I'M WIELDING LOBSTERS. FUCK BARCS LIFE
HANDS? WORRY BOUT FEET. THE GILA MONSTER LIKE LARS WIFE

Fire, the imagery here is so spot on.

BITCH GOT CLEAR TEETH. HORROR FLICKS? I'D FEAR SLEEP
LAYING NEXT TO THAT WEIRD BITCH REEKING LIKE DEER MEAT

Again this is so accurate, the multis too are so good CHEFS KISS EMOJI

AND BARCS LADY? I DONT KNOW HER BUT SHE CAN'T BE A WINNER
DUDE CUTS GRASS AND TRIMS BUSHES TO GIVE HIS FAMILY A DINNER

This one kinda didn't land for me because Barc can't feed his family still so it isn't a real personal.

I'LL ADMIT I RESPECT IT AND THE HUSTLE HE HAS
BUT HE'S CANADIAN. SO END OF THE DAY HE'S A NOTHING. A FAG

Good personal but I've seen the angle before

YO LARS FUCKS A WRINKLED MONKEY LADY LEGIT//
POST UP ON YA BOY I BALL LIKE A CRIPPLE...U GET SMACKED IN THE FACE W A BRICK

This is some 2012 Bagga shit SHEEESSH fire

LOOK BARC CICADA RAGE QUIT EVERYBATTLE URINE//
PROLLUM IS THE FLOOR IS LAVA AN THE COUCH BURNT IT

I had to really put this into the database and run some reports but it's different enough from my Floor is Lava line that the results came out as "Paying Homage" so I like this a lot

THESE NIGGAS IS GAY. THEY DON'T GOTTA BE HEARD OR SEEN
THEY GONNA OVERRUN THE SHIT LIKE EMERGENCY OR COVID OR SOMETHING (EMERGE AND SEE.. ITS OVER)

Now this is how you do a wordplay

vs


I've yet to find a reason for the pairing or someone who digs this booking
But at least we'll see nc's Main Coon team with one of the biggest pussies

Coon is a racist word and I am an ally so I can not rock with this.

Bags. Let's talk about u and ur fat spouse cuz boyyy u aren't good
The floor is lava; bitch stays on the couch to avoid your hardwood

Now this here I had to put in my database and extract some keystrings and run analysis report and it came back as an actual verified BITE so I cannot fuck with this even though I do like that the room has hardwood floors instead of tacky carpet though bags looks like the kinda guy that has a carpeted living room so it's a tough call but at the end of the day the bar is a verified BITE so I cannot fuck with it

That last bucket you were with was a boobless hoe, monster!
Jehovah's witness; no one wants anything to do with those knockers

See this just doesn't make sense to me because I do want to kill them when they knock on my door and that's not nothing

Father to a fucking meth child. Mom regrets you and the courts kno
Cicada admit you dated a bug that actually left you and the corn rows

I think Cicadas live in trees and are actually afraid of corn because it looks like a larger predator bug

Bags a single parent to a dirty kid by some worthless bitch
uhohs pops is a stay at home dad too... his still lives with him at 36

Jim is 32 so this is a fake personal which I simply cannot condone

what’s worse is Jim can’t even picture himself with women
not only are you a cancer to this website, you could form your own Incel division

This just ain't good, where's the artistry? Is this a wordplay? No sir it isn't and it's not even a punchline. Get outta heeeeeeea

Bags babymom a 3 for $50/10. ain’t a decent vain either side her crotch
fuck an omnicron variant, that dogfaced bitch a Booster & both her pfizer shot

I get it now this is why you're retarded you're an antivaxxer well listen bud Bags family and friends being safe during this PANDEMIC isn't an insult to normal people. Maybe if you got the shot you'd realize three for 50 bucks divided by ten is fucking retarded nonsense.

this guy has gone from powerlifts to hour sitting clued up on books
Home Gyms are a great idea. teaming with the antisocial retard’s stupid as fuck

I think your brain was stuck trying to compute 4 for 40 dollars divided by the square root of a little ceasars coupon with a derivative relating to it's expiration date and you had a stroke and wrote this fucking dribble


Bags and Jim embodied what it meant to be a team and bring out a unified effort. You can't even tell who wrote what, but you can tell they worked this out together and made sure it had it's own style for THEM as a new textcee of it's own. It was a masterpiece.

Barcotic isn't a good text battler which didn't help Lars here because Lars is a good topical writer so he really needed a good battler to compliment his wording prowess but keep him on track with good concepts. The shining light here is they both have about 50 accounts divided by a shoe string multiplied by their battle records worth of aliases to log into for 3 months after they lose this.

Vote: Ghost Bags

[uh-oh]

Ok cool thanks for the feed 1-0 uppin

[UPN Zuch]

Lol

Jim and bags are my boys but gotta keep it real here

Bars had some alright stuff, but def thought they would lose after reading their verse. However jim and ghost decided to go troll route. Shit got a giggle out of me but that’s about it.


Vote bars

[Blue Bayou]

Jehivas witness was jokes
Cicada actually works pretty well in slang and the bags corn rows tie in was a good touch
Stay at home dad double personal was fire imo
Cancer coolish
Home Jim I really liked conceptually but I think it could've been delivered better

Lmao GHOST HALTON
lol at the teeth bar
Entertaining troll verse.. love the direct feed


Barc and Lars got it.

[Answer]

Not counting dull's vote because he admitted to not reading 75% of the barc/lars verse. I've got this at 6 - 2 in favor or lars/barc. Closing this to focus attention on other battles which need real votes