Inspire me

Pharaohs Army · 01-23-2020, 12:38 AM

Inspire me. Treat me like a puppet and wire me. Tired of my job-- fire me.

They say text is dead! That's only because I've been resting in my bed. Wrote the first two lines-- the rest is in my head. I'll believe anything, unless it's what you said.

I've tried it before. Trying to conform to societal norms. Inside my mind is a war, but I try to ignore. I've learned lately, that time doesn't warp.

I'm just taking the time to find phrases that rhyme. Who ghostwrote this? Maybe it's mine.(because)

I'm prolific; the most gifted, and SO twisted.

You're simply lame; I'm critically acclaimed.

Any time I make a flex piece? It stresses me, because there's no philosophical lessons B.

Basically bored, so I'll write something and say it some more. And when I'm done I'll find a hot woman and make her my whore.
Then make her do chores.

It's absurd. (It's)as if I was a nerd. Always thinking about words. I just walk around flipping the bird. Yo, you can copy me, but I did it first.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rnv220dVmZc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOK7rXD1fG8

Adverse · 01-23-2020, 01:59 AM

This read like a Charles Hamilton track tbh. Could tell you're bored and need inspired, we could all use a bit of that sometimes

Plot · 01-23-2020, 02:25 AM

I liked the first line and the last line.
I didnt like anything else.
But I really liked those two lines,
sorta misdirection on the punch.

Exis · 01-23-2020, 03:09 AM

Inspire yourself nigga...

Bodey · 01-23-2020, 06:07 PM

this piece just seemed like you were freewriting and not really trying, more venting in some parts. lines like "my mind is a war" could be strengthened with imagery to that shit. I've seen better from you

Pharaohs Army · 01-23-2020, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bodey

this piece just seemed like you were freewriting and not really trying, more venting in some parts. lines like "my mind is a war" could be strengthened with imagery to that shit. I've seen better from you

Thanks. It's more like something with consistent technical rhymes that I can actually rap Ok. But I'll write something deeper next time

01-23-2020, 12:38 AM	#1
Pharaohs Army Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 2,962 Battle Record: 6 - 14 Rep Power: 0	Inspire me Inspire me. Treat me like a puppet and wire me. Tired of my job-- fire me. They say text is dead! That's only because I've been resting in my bed. Wrote the first two lines-- the rest is in my head. I'll believe anything, unless it's what you said. I've tried it before. Trying to conform to societal norms. Inside my mind is a war, but I try to ignore. I've learned lately, that time doesn't warp. I'm just taking the time to find phrases that rhyme. Who ghostwrote this? Maybe it's mine.(because) I'm prolific; the most gifted, and SO twisted. You're simply lame; I'm critically acclaimed. Any time I make a flex piece? It stresses me, because there's no philosophical lessons B. Basically bored, so I'll write something and say it some more. And when I'm done I'll find a hot woman and make her my whore. Then make her do chores. It's absurd. (It's)as if I was a nerd. Always thinking about words. I just walk around flipping the bird. Yo, you can copy me, but I did it first. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rnv220dVmZc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOK7rXD1fG8 Last edited by Pharaohs Army; 01-23-2020 at 12:45 AM.

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01-23-2020, 01:59 AM	#2
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,738 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446142	This read like a Charles Hamilton track tbh. Could tell you're bored and need inspired, we could all use a bit of that sometimes

01-23-2020, 02:25 AM	#3
Plot Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 1,376 Battle Record: 26-32 Rep Power: 1309741	I liked the first line and the last line. I didnt like anything else. But I really liked those two lines, sorta misdirection on the punch.

01-23-2020, 03:09 AM	#4
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,938 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	Inspire yourself nigga...