LMAO SO THERE'S THIS SHARED TOILET AT OUR WORKPLACE RIGHT

Diablo · 10-04-2017, 06:10 AM

and I was taking my ritualistic morning dump this morning when this female colleague starts banging the door, asking if anyone's in there (OBVIOUSLY I AM, THATS WHY ITS LOCKED YOU DUMBASS BITCH) but anyway I politely say yes I'm inside.

She then starts up conversation with me through the closed door asking if she's left her phone inside there. I'm sat on the can like WTF LEAVE ME ALONE TO SHIT IN PEACE, YOURE RUINING THIS FOR ME as I said I can't see it

This stupid fuck keeps going on though, "Can you just check see if it's on the sink?" NO I FUCKING CANT, IM STRAINING MY INTESTINES RIGHT NOW TRYING NOT TO PLOP LOUD ENOUGH FOR YOU TO HEAR WITH YOUR EAR UP AGAINST THIS FLINSY WOODEN DOOR MORON

Anyway I finally finish and stand up, flush the chain with me boxers and trousers still around my ankles in a rush to get out and let her look for this stupid phone her damn self, only Turdzilla resurfaces and breaks up into a ton of ass nuggets that float to the top and as I've just flushed the shit, it won't re-flush again for a few ever longer feeling minutes so I'm stood their just wondering what the fuck to even do at this point as I know she's still outside waiting. Anyway I still haven't wiped at this point, but as I lean over I see the phone on the floor. I picked it up and wiped my ass with it then placed it back on the floor where it had been, washed my hands and opened the door to her pretending I couldn't see it hoping she gets my shit all over her hands and doesn't ever do that kind of bullshit to me again.

How did your Wednesday go?

Victor. · 10-04-2017, 07:11 PM

Damn you fell off

The Dead Poet · 10-04-2017, 07:15 PM

I got no shame when shitting bro....but I agree being talked to through a door is annoying as fuck. I would have just told her, "Bitch wait your turn I'm taking a shit and I had arroz con pollo last night".

Finnydot · 10-04-2017, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Dead Poet

I got no shame when shitting bro....but I agree being talked to through a door is annoying as fuck. I would have just told her, "Bitch wait your turn I'm taking a shit and I had arroz con pollo last night".

Looool @ arroz with chicken. No idea what as
Arroz is tho.

Anyways, this thread made me think of the toothbrush bandit from The League. Awesome episode.

Aero · 10-04-2017, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victor.

Damn you fell off

Lol my guy.

Ghost1 · 10-04-2017, 09:20 PM

Lol stfu aero

10-04-2017, 06:10 AM	#1
Diablo Badgerdick Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Showdown City Posts: 2,604 Battle Record: 11-2 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 22685548	LMAO SO THERE'S THIS SHARED TOILET AT OUR WORKPLACE RIGHT and I was taking my ritualistic morning dump this morning when this female colleague starts banging the door, asking if anyone's in there (OBVIOUSLY I AM, THATS WHY ITS LOCKED YOU DUMBASS BITCH) but anyway I politely say yes I'm inside. She then starts up conversation with me through the closed door asking if she's left her phone inside there. I'm sat on the can like WTF LEAVE ME ALONE TO SHIT IN PEACE, YOURE RUINING THIS FOR ME as I said I can't see it This stupid fuck keeps going on though, "Can you just check see if it's on the sink?" NO I FUCKING CANT, IM STRAINING MY INTESTINES RIGHT NOW TRYING NOT TO PLOP LOUD ENOUGH FOR YOU TO HEAR WITH YOUR EAR UP AGAINST THIS FLINSY WOODEN DOOR MORON Anyway I finally finish and stand up, flush the chain with me boxers and trousers still around my ankles in a rush to get out and let her look for this stupid phone her damn self, only Turdzilla resurfaces and breaks up into a ton of ass nuggets that float to the top and as I've just flushed the shit, it won't re-flush again for a few ever longer feeling minutes so I'm stood their just wondering what the fuck to even do at this point as I know she's still outside waiting. Anyway I still haven't wiped at this point, but as I lean over I see the phone on the floor. I picked it up and wiped my ass with it then placed it back on the floor where it had been, washed my hands and opened the door to her pretending I couldn't see it hoping she gets my shit all over her hands and doesn't ever do that kind of bullshit to me again. How did your Wednesday go?

10-04-2017, 07:11 PM	#2
Victor. Punchline Prettyboy Join Date: Jan 2014 Posts: 1,512 Battle Record: 7-0 Champed - Fight Night 6 Rep Power: 53833777	Damn you fell off __________________ You ain’t a young buck ... yous a dumb fuck//run up and get gun butted.. get all your gums bust

10-04-2017, 07:15 PM	#3
The Dead Poet Senior Member Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 1,138 Rep Power: 22468536	I got no shame when shitting bro....but I agree being talked to through a door is annoying as fuck. I would have just told her, "Bitch wait your turn I'm taking a shit and I had arroz con pollo last night". __________________ https://soundcloud.com/rafael-jesus-martinez