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02-25-2013, 11:34 PM | #1 |
The Throne, The Crown
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AOWL WK 3: Mike Wrecka (1-1) VS. Innovator (2-0) [MIKE WRECKA WINS, 5-3.]
16 lines minimum, 32 lines maximum.
Verses are due THURSDAY at 11:59 PST. Extensions are due FRIDAY 3/1 at 11:59 PST. NO LATER!!! You MUST check in. You must vote on 3 other battles and post links. For every absent link, you will be deducted ONE vote next week. If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league. TOPIC: A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure. Good luck to both participants. @Mike Wrecka @Innovator |
02-25-2013, 11:48 PM | #2 |
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02-25-2013, 11:54 PM | #3 |
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ya
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02-27-2013, 11:08 PM | #4 |
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If I had it, All for nothing.
The stench covers the room in a veil of golden dust from rusty chains./ He leans over with a calm touch that burns my soul and curls my veins./ In no particular direction would I articulate your name for a mention./ Manifesting the final decision, for my sake you’re swift with no discretion./ Has my journey marked its end? I’m quick to spark, ready to defend it./ Fate cursed me while faith warned these forsaken events would arise./ I’ll fight for a last breath, two fists clenched in bad health and goodbyes./ The reapers blade in sight while I’m in a fickle stride afoot a fool’s eye./ Dawned in red, bathed in sin and swimming in the depths of foolish pride./ I pray with hidden hands my knees grace the broken pew./ Covered in dark hues face martyred in black and blues,/ vision a skew…/ Death seeps in from angle to angle/ while I speak to angels in the heavens. Each breath left me mangled / twisted for life’s eye tangled in the leverage. It’s a bitter beverage, the taste cankered/ wild with despair and agony equal… The site of this evil crumbles people/ to bits positioning me to stand fetal. As the walls talk I make home of this steeple./ So should I beg for my life? Why? My bed is foolish of pride./ Let me convince you of the issue otherwise./ I shall not commence with the lies and the mistruths./ I beg, misuse your sickle, will you/ Give me the chance to prove my innocence/ I’ll take the stance of pleading moral ignora.... "....SILENCE!!!!/ In life you caused strife, your flaws you kept hidden./ You sold your soul for riches begging for the next bid in./ Flaunting trinkets thinking they’d fix things; hope from digits./ Ignoring the humble as you stumbled to your avid deeds of greed/ But security doesn’t come to those who have more of what they need"/ ...the gates of hell recede. |
02-28-2013, 05:17 PM | #5 |
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time is literally, just a measurement,
a break down of infinity, into smaller increments/ a broken instrument, controlling our life, though cloaked in innocence, its a demons device/ got you leavin contrite, like sorry but im late, got you seekin advice, askin whats todays date/ but it stays the same shape, intertwined figure eights, we share pre ordained fate, so we all can relate/ to the past present and future, navigate and maneuver, through the time continuum, triangulate in Bermuda/ using the teachings of Buddha, say hakuda matata, while the doomsday preppers form an armada/ absorbing allotta, negative stress, swarming piranhas, take a sedative, rest/ even former presidents press, the hurry up motto, how do you get to rush more, always full throttle/ if patience is a virtue, then were virtually corrupt, someplaces have a curfew, so the day ends abrupt/ enough is enough, where do we draw the line, assignments have a due date, as soon as theyre assigned/ in the land before time, people always had the time, to do what they pleased, at ease, without a deadline/ lets rewind, just sit back and relax, recline, and then take a nap in the grass/ whether moving backwards or fast, everything comes to a point like the forehead of a Dracula mask/ in a spectacular crash, things started out with a bang, and they will end in a similar fashion so try to refrain/ from not taking the time, to contemplate and elicit, life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop to look around you might miss it/
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03-01-2013, 12:05 PM | #6 |
Arm the Homeless
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Cot dayum good battle haha.
Innovator: I usually don't like the short bar style and but yours feels like a poem. The imagery that's in your piece is some of the best I've seen. The rhyme scheme was simple but the piece felt far from that. The storyline of your piece was good as well. You're definatly someone to look out for in the league. Mike Wrecka: You went with the quote the way I would have gone with it and you executed it perfectly holmes. Nice piece of time slippin away from the pressures of life and I related with this piece because I think we all feel this daily lol. There was two very different verses here. Inno went with an abstract take on the quote and Mike took a literal take on the quote. The abstract way is far more risky, but I think Inno took this one. Very good battle from you two. Props |
03-01-2013, 06:20 PM | #7 |
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This was a dope battle.
Enjjoyed innovators take on this, kind of a trip towards perishing. Had some nice details that gave for good imagery. I just had a really hard time following your structure this week for the most part. That stuck out more than anything unfortunately. Mike. Thought you came dope, breaking down how time is really nothing.. I mean who's to truelly say what measurement time should be in. Its the wole up is down and down is up thing pretty much. Your verse held a lot more impact mechanically and I feel like it carried you cleanly to a w. Pretty much just solidified a good verse with well tuned technique. Good battle. Seen better from both. Just saying. I got V- mike
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03-01-2013, 09:48 PM | #8 |
The COAT...
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Inno, ya took a very unique approach to this and sacrificed flow for imagery. Told a nice story and did so in vivid detail. Its hard to maintain a smooth rhyme scheme with the approach you took, and although improving on that is an obvious criticism, you had your own touch to the flow here and it turned out pretty good.
Mike, played it safe conceptually and took a more expected approach. Flowed fairly nicely from start to finish. My favorite aspect of this verse was that aside from covering the quote you also got the reader thinking. I was diggin your message here. Both writers had their own spin on things this week, Mikes verse left more of a lasting impression on me. Good battle |
03-03-2013, 02:52 AM | #9 |
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Both cats had a very nice verse, both took an interesting approach that i definitely thought worked well in their favour. Innovator damn that was a nice piece man, appreciated the imagery you incorporated in this, it really made a for a very nice read no doubt about it. And I'm a huuuge sucker for dope imagery. Mike you had a mechanically top notch piece with a good approach to the topic. Tbh it really comes down to who impressed me more, it was more like a battle of apple and oranges and a battle of preference. With that said I gotta say I liked Innovator's verse more, although not executed to the extent of Mike's it was not far behind, the imagery was executed nicely enough to get across to the reader and any imagery is almost useless without good execution, in this case he came with enough to execute the nice imagery and to me I thought he deserves this win
v/ Innovator |
03-04-2013, 06:31 PM | #10 |
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Innovator. Straight forward tale, decent writing. First two lines were ill. Probably your best couplet since I first peeped you. From the first 2 bars onward it doesn't quite live up to the hype. Your transition from thought to thought needs work. Your momentum suffers because you don't have coherent transitions. They are tolerable but if you want to advance you should work on connecting your lines more with a flow, not a scheme, a flow. I didn't get any real reaction from this verse but you can obviously write. Keep at it. Some quotes.
The stench covers the room in a veil of golden dust from rusty chains./ He leans over with a calm touch that burns my soul and curls my veins./ Mike Wrecka. Nice verse. Couple lines didn't fit. Sometimes when you write, you might have a ill line, but you have to think, does it fit? Sometimes an ill lines a burden. Because of it's too ill and left field it actually has a reverse affect, overshadowing your rhyme, ex; nap in the grass, dracula. You got a little too lax towards the end and cut off all your momentum. You need to push through pussy a little more if you wanna break that cherry, know what im sayin? Keep at it. Some quotes to the past present and future, navigate and maneuver, through the time continuum, triangulate in Bermuda/ using the teachings of Buddha, say hakuda matata, while the doomsday preppers for armada/ absorbing allotta, negative stress, Vote: Mike Wrecka wrote a better piece to the quote
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03-04-2013, 06:31 PM | #11 |
IN LOVE WITH A STRIPPER
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Crazy battle folks, crazy...
The writing ability is displayed excellent in both, making this a hard decision. Innovator...while reading from the beginning it felt so gay lol. I didn't know what the hell was going on but as the story progressed I had to start over so I could read without feeling weirded out imo. Your imagery was spectacular for real. The direction u took this topic was nicely done. Mic....excellent multis and rhyme scheme. Wasnt a dull moment from that aspect. The story was the only thing lacking for me. Yes direct but lacking in imagery. I felt u could of played with it more. Overall INNOVATOR won this. Both came with it but his imagery was just on point and gripped me more. Great battle fellas. |
03-04-2013, 08:03 PM | #12 |
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I hate the word strife
Innovator. u used the word strife. thought the rhyming was absolutely on point, props. fate/faith line was dope, and frankly i thought that was some sorta dope flip on the two watches idea, but it was quite literally owning more than one watch which was kinda a cool flip. the idea behind it was kinda played out in the history of ever but it was a decent take so i dont mind mike wrecka was not feeling the rhyming here, dr. seussy, like the nap in the grass one. it was put together well. the deconstruction of time was pretty dope, did relate to the time part of the concept really well, and now that i look closer see the two watches symbolized in the instant finality of any creation and all that so thats cool. the rushmore metaphor made me vomit in my outh a little have MIKE Wrecka winning with a dope angle and solid mechanics in a close one
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03-04-2013, 10:04 PM | #13 |
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Inno -- This was an interesting read. The ending bit reminded me a little of geno's concept - thought that was funny. The way you spread your rhymes out made the read very natural and easy, however, the way you spread your bars felt out of touch with the subject of the verse. Usually shorter bars are more..whimsical? This felt more...wistful? whats with the W's? and alliterations? lol sorry. So yeah - I felt the format was counterproductive to your actual content. The content was a little over-saturated with negatives and under-nourished by imagery for my liking. It was a cool verse, but I couldnt really pin it to the topic.
Mike -- haha, man that was a dope. I love verses about time...its something I've dwelled on many a time...hah. nah there were lines that were perfect setups and I was reading like PLEASE TAKE THIS TOWARDS THE CONCEPT THAT JUST FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES. and you didnt. you bitch. I kid. But yeah that deadline line i was thinking "EXPAND ON THE FACT ITS A DEAD-LINE" and then right before it in the line about things being due when they're assigned i was like "OMG ITS CALLED A DEAD LINE, KILL THE NEXT BAR" and you kinda did so that was cool. seriously. That Virtue flip was also pretty dope. This felt a little like a keystyle in some ways though - and i dont mean it disrespectfully it just felt very stream-of-conscious like the hakuta matata part and shit but then you dropped some dope lines too so whatever. Solid verse vote -- Mike Wrecka because I thought he killed it. |
03-04-2013, 10:23 PM | #14 |
The Throne, The Crown
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MIKE WRECKA WINS, 5-3.
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