Era

Bad Lieutenant · 08-19-2021, 02:17 PM

We die young, falling victim to narcotics
Wild and reckless, we refuse to use logic
Where's the love, we fighting our own kind
Cold world, animosity blowing in the wind
It's different times, personalities are star signs
Constantly on platforms, hiding behind fake smiles
Currency is going digital, no need for real cash
Shut down the internet and the whole world crash
Taxes are stealing profits, there's no justice
Businesses are underpaying, it's injustice
We fighting politics, tryna exercise our rights
It's like a maze, is it left or right
Tryna understand it all, what does it all mean
Everything's complex like the vaccine

corleone · 08-20-2021, 12:02 AM

dooooooppppeeee... I really enjoyed reading this, it was short and sweet.. another classic verse Ive read from someone on this board.. keep up the amazing work and keep writing! God gave you a gift my man, dont lose it!!

peace,

- Cor

Alice · 08-20-2021, 11:46 AM

Thought this was ok for what it is. A bit short but succinct at times. Not sure maybe you could’ve elaborated on some of the references you had in your lines like the stealing profits part. It felt simple at parts too but I enjoyed the underlying concept.

Cereal · 08-20-2021, 12:31 PM

i loved the personalities like star signs line..
dope tight precise and flowed nice drop

Adverse · 08-22-2021, 04:04 AM

Ehh was alright. A lot of the rhyming was basic, and a lot of times you were rhyming the same word twice. (Rhyming rights with right, justice with injustice etc) but I dig the sentiment behind it. There’s some real life content here, just work on finding better ways to say the things you’re saying, flesh it out, dig through the thesaurus, get creative

Keep spitting

08-19-2021, 02:17 PM	#1
Bad Lieutenant BARS Join Date: Jan 2021 Posts: 25 Battle Record: 2-2 Rep Power: 0	Era We die young, falling victim to narcotics Wild and reckless, we refuse to use logic Where's the love, we fighting our own kind Cold world, animosity blowing in the wind It's different times, personalities are star signs Constantly on platforms, hiding behind fake smiles Currency is going digital, no need for real cash Shut down the internet and the whole world crash Taxes are stealing profits, there's no justice Businesses are underpaying, it's injustice We fighting politics, tryna exercise our rights It's like a maze, is it left or right Tryna understand it all, what does it all mean Everything's complex like the vaccine

08-20-2021, 12:02 AM	#2
corleone Shakespearian Dialect Join Date: Mar 2020 Location: Brooklyn, NY --> Allentown, PA Posts: 1,022 Battle Record: 0-3 Rep Power: 0	dooooooppppeeee... I really enjoyed reading this, it was short and sweet.. another classic verse Ive read from someone on this board.. keep up the amazing work and keep writing! God gave you a gift my man, dont lose it!! peace, - Cor __________________

08-20-2021, 12:31 PM	#4
Cereal killa Join Date: Jun 2018 Posts: 820 Battle Record: 1-6 Rep Power: 1312296	i loved the personalities like star signs line.. dope tight precise and flowed nice drop __________________ A-double scribble - A 19 th century euphemism for ass

08-20-2021, 11:46 AM	#3
Alice Member Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 48 Rep Power: 53110	Thought this was ok for what it is. A bit short but succinct at times. Not sure maybe you could’ve elaborated on some of the references you had in your lines like the stealing profits part. It felt simple at parts too but I enjoyed the underlying concept.

08-22-2021, 04:04 AM	#5
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,739 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446142	Ehh was alright. A lot of the rhyming was basic, and a lot of times you were rhyming the same word twice. (Rhyming rights with right, justice with injustice etc) but I dig the sentiment behind it. There’s some real life content here, just work on finding better ways to say the things you’re saying, flesh it out, dig through the thesaurus, get creative Keep spitting