07-12-2017, 01:07 AM | #1 | |
HALL OF FAME
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: portal 7 to the 9th exponent
Posts: 16,171
Battle Record: 3-5
Rep Power: 0 |
generating your print preview
Oxford. Cambridge. Harvard. Yale.
The educated elite replete with fail compete to eat, no sleep in this jail all pride to coincide with never tucking the tail we are the sociopaths, we fuck and assail we are the law, see us see saw on the scale But They Live with plenty of bubble gum speaking the frequencies of subtle scum every day in every way getting dumber than dumb turn on, tune in, tune out, get numb, then succumb you hear the wardrums hum, but you would rather turn and run so the blind remain blind and prophet cuts out his tongue.
__________________
Quote:
|
|
07-12-2017, 02:52 AM | #2 |
SYRACUSE
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,033
Battle Record: 31-37
Champed - Write Night II
- Alias Topical Tournament
Rep Power: 4743544 |
much better
__________________
UNIFIED THEORY |
07-22-2017, 09:37 PM | #3 |
SOBER
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 13,052
Battle Record: 2-5
Champed - AOWL Season 2
Rep Power: 85899406 |
The rhymes are like a B-Side to a white rastafarian's Def Poetry audioton. Content okay. Maybe trying too hard.
__________________
If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me? |
08-01-2017, 01:16 AM | #4 |
The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,024
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349678 |
Impressive work in such a short display
the bubble gum/subtle scum was funny fun. otherwise I felt that you could add to this. display your printing & how its written up. either way I enjoyed that whole midsection awkward work near the end though... a perfect blend of idea and the prophesied
__________________
.....laugh....and the world laughs with you |
09-16-2017, 12:43 AM | #5 |
death warmed over
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Downstairs illstreet dam
Posts: 2,564
Battle Record: 6-21
Rep Power: 0 |
I likedthending of this it was also veryasy on rhe eyes which is good a nice easy read with lots of meaning and i dont know wasnt lacking that much i guess rhyme scheme coulda been a bit stronger but i think it all meshed quite reasonably... goood drop yo....
__________________
https://soundcloud.com/user-876573949/ https://soundcloud.com/user-634430314/ |
Tags |
pretty decent imo |
|
|