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Old 10-11-2017, 11:07 AM   #1
Ghost1
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Default Diablo vs Mr. J[DIABLO WINS]

Black August


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due October 18th
WEDNESDAY at 11:59 P.M. Pacific/West Coast or THURSDAY October 19th 3:00 AM Eastern / 6:00 AM THURSDAY October 5th Central European/London


Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

[color=red]Voting closes when a clear winner is voted for. Competitors must vote immediately on the other match. Failure to vote will result in being a faggot for a significant portion of ur life.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? You can technically start a life of faggoting immediately but its a slippery slope.

so....

All competitors must vote on as many battles as possible duh u bum ass idiots


Topic:: uh none wtf don't u know what this is?

@Diablo @Mr. J

Last edited by Inno; 10-23-2017 at 08:52 PM.
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Old 10-11-2017, 11:13 AM   #2
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in it to kill it @Mr. J
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Old 10-17-2017, 07:32 PM   #3
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The coast guard called in the latest wave
I sent a postcard showcasing my day to day
Count Olaf when it came to fading away.
how can I flow off and call a spade a spade.
how can I roam on knowing they played us?
prudent Plautus that echoes through the ages
look how comedy & tragedy has portrayed us.
immoral statements sorted in odd arrangements
coddled by praises while awaiting ascension
let details change while they paying attention.
true words brought when they met a sentence
twisted & ambiguous, am I what you wish you was?
free to come & go while getting the mission done.
tell the stars that their wishes dont give enough.
business was picking up but Im at a loss for words
Im only doing this now just to calm my nerves
let the world run its course & watch the coffin turn
this old thing might just make my pockets burst.
while others urge their praises for Pac or worst...
they claim this stupid doo doo dumb, redundance
keep them all at bay...no squares in my circumference
got the heart of what you want...why do i care who you in love it






thats some dumb shit
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Old 10-18-2017, 05:28 AM   #4
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"Tinderella"


A finger taps the Tinder app and lights up the screen
within a flash the single man's profile is complete!
Ant smiles as he reads his own bio silently back
"TEXTS LIKE A MACHINE, PLUS I'M NICE WIT DEM HANDS
TRY ME YOU FAGGOTS LOL HASHTAG GYM BLAZE"
sliding a vast spoonful of whey into the fat assed pigs face.
Ant's had big gains since he decided to bulk
kick back and lift weights to help find him results.
So swiping some dullard sleaze or a smut
with vagina and pulse still working is easy as fuck!
Anything a three or above's fair game the rest of the time
he's not a believer in love at first site, especially online.
They can get it provided they're not an obese weight
and even then he'd be fine with getting his protein shaked.
Though these days, he's looking for a girl with more class
who won't eat steak but would suck a turd from his ass.
Who needs personal ads when there's chicks by the dozen
all perfectly matched for him at the click of a button?
Tinder is full of douche baguettes who hit him up instantly
and give up their numbers quicker than they give up their dignity.
Soon every bitch in proximity's screenshotting their phones
as Lars' dick pic's implicitly passed off as his own!
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Old 10-18-2017, 03:20 PM   #5
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Lmmfao
Man. I read mr js shit and it was dope as fuxk. One of the more cleaner reads i read from him. Thought that no squares in my circumference line was dope as shit. The opener was slick to. As a whole it stayed sharp. I sensed a man getti f as far away from civilization and a woman as he possibly could just to get his head right.

Lars had the fun y ass bags diss sort of agenda lmao. Have to be honest. I think the verse edges it this week just in laughs and with that really poliched mechanical grasp you have. You bend syllabkes with the rest and me being the same kind of eriter makes me really appreciate what you do. Edit.. Reread mrjs for a more accurate response.

The girl with more class and suck a turd from his ass slayed me tho. Probably bar of the battle. Haha.

I got lars in this one. The commical aspect took it for me.
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Old 10-21-2017, 10:21 PM   #6
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Mr j

As usual dropping some heat. I loved your diction in this one, why do I feel like you write everything last minute? I feel like you have that controlled chaos thing going with your verses. They seem free flowing but always with s purpose. This was a cool topic, a man distraught about how he was portrayed by the people around him to the one he loved? That’s what I’m getting. Ultimately coming to the conclusion he’s better off. Word. What shines here is your abstract writing that balances the line between poetry and freehand. Dope ish mang.

Lars

This was a cool little thang you wrote here. Creative with the quips and funny comments. You painted a precise picture and told a concise narrative. Not or flashy though but the humor stands out as your best asset in this verse. I feel like you held back and probably could of went in a bit more, so there’s that. Honestly the last line was hilarious lol. And even though it’s just one line I feel like it had a natural fit to it’s tone, which intern made for a subtle yet funny end.


Over all

I got Lars taking this one. Both verse didn’t impress really J had a good verse but Lars has a more precise story with humor taking the cake here for me. I feel like both held back but in the end Lars edged J in this one.

Thanks for the read fellas
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Old 10-23-2017, 05:56 AM   #7
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Hate to vote on my boys battle, but I have to soo… I did tell baz don’t underestimate J and he did (LOL) judging how serious he took the piece n comp overall, lets see how they both look!

Mr J- Very clean read, always enjoy your style my man. AGAIN, it comes across natural, keystyled in ten mins (lol) n effortless. My main gripe tbh thou is that the overall topic wasn’t as apprehensive as I usually see from you. I think you tried to match up the Barons style in the first few lines but quickly got back to your natural rhythm and was better off for it imho. This piece seemed open to interpretation on first read but I think the ‘no squares in my circumference’ (that could be a mantra btw, dope) and the last line vindicates what innov said! To be frank thou, hopefully not sounding biased but you’d need to catch baz on an off day to beat him here, story overall isn’t as impactful as the artful writing/ wording, came to the same conclusion with wittys verse in truth!

Mynd- too many lulzzz to quote, right off the bat with the title was a good start!

"A finger taps the Tinder app and lights up the screen
within a flash the single man's profile is complete!"

that’s some tight penmanship right there! Too many references to go off overall, love to see bags come back with a diss thou tbh!
As a whole the piece was a little too wordy at times, I struggled to see what was rhyming but that’s the challenges u love to set haha, but from the first lines I have to admit, I did expect more fluency but on reflection that WASN’T the what you set out to do…. the comedic element/ content was your first priority and rightly so cuz the lulz, wordplay, punchlines seemed relentless and it all paid off!

I gotta go with Eminem’s biggest fan on this, his verbal assault on the admin of this comp was rash, bold, unnecessary but definitely paid off! haha!

Good job lads!
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