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Old 07-09-2017, 01:15 AM   #1
dead man
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Default Far Side

still

skimming the surface. purgatorial love
we're more or less a message in a mirror in blood
always hated how your Estee Lauder smeared when we touched
now it's what i miss the most. wind and dust
ruby rust, autumn ashes, apprehensive assumption
aromatic rush. tell me something of substance.
post-traumatic discussion, make me sit for a while
once we coexist my sickness is a state of denial
open trial. open casket. staring openly now
give a mouse a meter and he'll hope for a mile
asked you for a favor and you threw me a bone
did Ricky only make a sound when Lucy was home?
cubic zirconium, mutant chromosome, reclusive, alone
new name Jupiter Rome. futurist misusing his orders
confusion-prone, heartache meditation wondering how
i become most claustrophobic when there's nothing around
what a feeling. holy entropy. it's fluid as time
static as the manifold we use to describe
views event anticipation beauty refinement
tools of the trade / signs of the times, they're 2 of a kind
stupid as I am. clinging onto already gone
wineglass crack. Mazel Tov. flamethrow yarmulkes off
molotov the industry. re-market, recall
we're the problem. as it stands, nobody wants to be solved
chupacabra, human fossils eating dinner and lunch
pour out this sauvignon until you're ready to fuck
our moment's up, inhale release recline. romantic, reluctant
we exaggerate to co-create these massive productions
via question sans subject. far side, greener the grass
i would've stayed if you had only asked.





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Old 07-09-2017, 12:36 PM   #2
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1st.
dope. you're pretty much the only writer on here nowadays, well the only write who writes well and tries. i always enjoy these, and always take time to read it several times. note to anybody: if you write well, i will copy how you write. until then i will mimic deadman forever. if you suck, then i won't copy you.

anyway this was littered with crumbled balls of flaming ash, emanating fluidity. the lucy
line was delicious. i loved how you recreate tree/sound idiomatic assumptions into pop culture references, usually a gloomy combustion with an opposite field of view. depth is always there, but there's always slight contrasts that you delineate with large open gaps thrown into small pools of volume. it's your usual par of work, but with a loose swag type that is loosely lined with apathy and disgust over nostalgic shortcomings. also, didn't know you would use zirconia, jupiter and these are just coincidences. :)

good job man. thanks
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Originally Posted by greed View Post
If mentioned in a discussion its who'd still use wordy lines and act all dope
Then again hes had this schtick so long he like bb da bb da bb thats all folks
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Old 07-09-2017, 04:28 PM   #3
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"I become most claustrophobic when theres nothing around"
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Old 09-18-2017, 08:40 AM   #4
oats
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this is my favorite one in a while. I, too, love how you use pop culture references idiomatically, not just in the Lucy line but also the give a mouse a meter line. very few writers - and I don't mean just on NC - have that ability to psychically lead you where they want you to go while at the same time allowing you to believe that it's your mind doing the exploration, and I think you pulled off that maneuver really well here. more, por favor.
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Old 10-04-2017, 04:41 PM   #5
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This is ill. The estee lauder was dope

And this segment..
tools of the trade / signs of the times, they're 2 of a kind
stupid as I am. clinging onto already gone
wineglass crack. Mazel Tov. flamethrow yarmulkes off
molotov the industry. re-market, recall

Loved that shit. Brilliant eriting. Looking forward to your verse in black august.

Im rdy when you are btw Went 30. Lmk
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