New Perspectives

Witty · 10-07-2015, 10:49 AM

"Tell me why you killed those innocent women...what drove you?"

The race and the flight, the taste of saliva and the domination
The chase in the night, raising a knife in the altercation
The loss of patience, her face and her eyes, and the concentration
It takes to put off evasion, knowing only pain will suffice
Taking a nice girl and raping her twice as I bathe in the sight
of her paying the price, no escape, locked up safe in a vice
Strip her naked and bite, tearing her flesh, making a slice
Smelling her fragrance, it's nice, then slit her throat with a grin
Then scuttle away like a rodent, totally devoted to sin.

"And what of the woman's family? Do you consider them?"

Consider who? Those who were too weak to protect?
Where is loves healing power when the demons infect?
They weren't there when she pleaded to be freed from her debt
When she was bleeding and wet, covered in beads of her sweat
Where were her family when she needed them? Missing in action
You blame me for their dismissing inaction?
All I felt was the kiss, the attraction, the bliss, the reaction
Her body shaking in fear, completely resisting the passion
Am I her carer? I am but Adam in her eyes, a ghost in the night
So again I ask...what good was family when she was frozen in fright?

"Would you consider changing your ways?"

You sit on your seat, confused by thoughts of right and wrong
There's only day and night, I just stay and fight when the light is gone
You are weak, I am strong, yet it's me who knows that I'm a pawn
You think you're independent, but you only see in the light of dawn
I am Satan's puppet, women are sin, I have to give them to him
So I'll kill at his whim, until every cell in hell is filled to the brim
You people are too protective of these cancerous whores
You want a new perspective? Can a kid just cancel his chores?
I'll lock 'em in chains, I want to see them tortured 'til breath has fled
You want me to change? Fine...I'll just choke 'em to death instead

Witty · 10-07-2015, 08:30 PM

*coughs*
@CopyPat you owe me 2 lines of feed lol <3

CopyPat · 10-07-2015, 08:57 PM

on it bish.

where the fuck is Hollandaise?!?!?! Deleted! the fuck!

Witty · 10-07-2015, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CopyPat

on it bish.

where the fuck is Hollandaise?!?!?! Deleted! the fuck!

Wtf? I haven't been on in a while but who the fuck deleted it???

@Certain @big baby @Dancake @Split eight @Zen @Fig

CopyPat · 10-07-2015, 09:03 PM

Fox my NI**A!

haha. You're very good. this subject matter wasn't my favorite but i think u said this was for a topical or something? Your writing and imagery is very impressive. you carried a complex scheme throughout and made that shit butter smooth. this verse had some length but I did not labor through it because it was written with a real sense of flow, that's tough to do well and u nailed it. only a couple parts i didn't like. rhyming in action with inaction. hahahaha that's david pixley bad. wtf were u thinking? also cancerous whores and cancel his chores seemed like a last minute cheap rhyme to me too. like forced and filler, but besides those 2 this was really really good. did u win said battle with this?

CopyPat · 10-07-2015, 09:04 PM

Certain probly fagged it up

Witty · 10-08-2015, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CopyPat

Fox my NI**A!

haha. You're very good. this subject matter wasn't my favorite but i think u said this was for a topical or something? Your writing and imagery is very impressive. you carried a complex scheme throughout and made that shit butter smooth. this verse had some length but I did not labor through it because it was written with a real sense of flow, that's tough to do well and u nailed it. only a couple parts i didn't like. rhyming in action with inaction. hahahaha that's david pixley bad. wtf were u thinking? also cancerous whores and cancel his chores seemed like a last minute cheap rhyme to me too. like forced and filler, but besides those 2 this was really really good. did u win said battle with this?

Thank you and yeah lol I knew people would have a problem with missing in action/dismissing inaction, I did it anyway tho cuz I like the fact that one extra syllable in front of missing and erasing the space between in and action gave it a completely different meaning than the first line...I like when words do things like that, so it was more me pondering the nature of language and experimenting than anything else....the cancerous whore/cancel chores in retrospect wasn't great. Thank you for the feed bro.

Witty · 10-10-2015, 06:23 AM

^

Dearg · 10-10-2015, 06:35 AM

This was dope, as usual Witty. The wording was really smooth and you took a concept and made it work in a mid amount of lines. I'd liked to see this stretched out into a more in depth piece but you still managed to do it justice with what you've got here. Smooth read, stick around. <--- the feedback I gave you for this piece on RR. Now hit up one of my pieces! :(

Mr. J · 10-12-2015, 02:01 AM

It might be because I haven't read a piece like this from you in awhile
but that transition into the second question made me lol

Strip her naked and bite, tearing her flesh, making a slice
Smelling her fragrance, it's nice, then slit her throat with a grin
Then scuttle away like a rodent, totally devoted to sin.

"And what of the woman's family? Do you consider them?"

Consider who? Those who were too weak to protect?
Where is loves healing power when the demons infect?
^^^^
I thought that was weird I didnt really like that but...it was funny
I enjoyed everything about this your word usage makes your pieces a fun journey
its a disappointment you never show in the AOWL cause Id like to piss on you
but this was cool buddy, thank for the read :)

Witty · 10-13-2015, 04:51 PM

Thanks bro :)

sral · 10-13-2015, 05:06 PM

just got you here:

http://www.rap-royalty.com/forum/tex...spectives.html

Exis · 10-13-2015, 09:46 PM

Yo this is some really good shit man...your schemes & flow be sick.Content is tight, I like when well written material just rolls off the tongue all effortless like that backed by complex schemes...dope piece.

The race and the flight, the taste of saliva and the domination
The chase in the night, raising a knife in the altercation
The loss of patience, her face and her eyes, and the concentration
It takes to put off evasion, knowing only pain will suffice
Taking a nice girl and raping her twice as I bathe in the sight
of her paying the price, no escape, locked up safe in a vice
Strip her naked and bite, tearing her flesh, making a slice
Smelling her fragrance, it's nice, then slit her throat with a grin
Then scuttle away like a rodent, totally devoted to sin.

^^Fire.

Well it all is really lol...thought that was raw tho.

Stay upwards Irish.

Witty · 10-16-2015, 06:33 PM

Why thank you.

2tripple0 · 10-18-2015, 10:30 AM

Aye too was not much peaking to this piece....didn't like the horror core ear simple shit with a tweak of suspense thriller... Lol wasn't feeling much...thought u could have done more in the knowledge department... Just felt like writing was too gruesome could have been smarter but you were okay but then feed got picked up.... So like mr. J I thought it could have been better.... As for dearg I'll get to feeding your piece in the OM as well

JESODIST · 10-22-2015, 02:37 AM

:)

MMLP · 11-04-2015, 09:33 AM

Overall this is top notch, I will say the first part read much smoothly than the other two but the concept is so interesting, being in the perspective of a rapist/ murderer. Superbly descriptive in the first part as it was describing the brutality and the next two was basically a convo, it was coherent, rhyming and flow was largely on point, all in all, it was executed brilliantly.

Its inspired me to write..... maybe a random collab with the boss! @sraL

sral · 11-05-2015, 05:05 AM

send me some ideas/concepts/rhymes

Blaccalicious · 11-05-2015, 02:27 PM

nIIIIIce my mans.. I'm not into that horrorcore, serial killer shit but this was good enough to hold my attention. This would make for a good song i feel if it was extended longer. flow was dope with the rhyme schemes.. bars seemed a bit stretched but i think the way you'd spit it u could pull it off. sum slow shit would be right..Dope concept...Almost like the dectetives is picking this crazy fucks brain apart tryna find out why he killt those cunts..wordd! good shit Witty, keep it gritty.

Witty · 11-15-2015, 08:35 AM

Thanks doods.

10-07-2015, 10:49 AM	#1
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,794 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 82986458	New Perspectives "Tell me why you killed those innocent women...what drove you?" The race and the flight, the taste of saliva and the domination The chase in the night, raising a knife in the altercation The loss of patience, her face and her eyes, and the concentration It takes to put off evasion, knowing only pain will suffice Taking a nice girl and raping her twice as I bathe in the sight of her paying the price, no escape, locked up safe in a vice Strip her naked and bite, tearing her flesh, making a slice Smelling her fragrance, it's nice, then slit her throat with a grin Then scuttle away like a rodent, totally devoted to sin. "And what of the woman's family? Do you consider them?" Consider who? Those who were too weak to protect? Where is loves healing power when the demons infect? They weren't there when she pleaded to be freed from her debt When she was bleeding and wet, covered in beads of her sweat Where were her family when she needed them? Missing in action You blame me for their dismissing inaction? All I felt was the kiss, the attraction, the bliss, the reaction Her body shaking in fear, completely resisting the passion Am I her carer? I am but Adam in her eyes, a ghost in the night So again I ask...what good was family when she was frozen in fright? "Would you consider changing your ways?" You sit on your seat, confused by thoughts of right and wrong There's only day and night, I just stay and fight when the light is gone You are weak, I am strong, yet it's me who knows that I'm a pawn You think you're independent, but you only see in the light of dawn I am Satan's puppet, women are sin, I have to give them to him So I'll kill at his whim, until every cell in hell is filled to the brim You people are too protective of these cancerous whores You want a new perspective? Can a kid just cancel his chores? I'll lock 'em in chains, I want to see them tortured 'til breath has fled You want me to change? Fine...I'll just choke 'em to death instead __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

10-07-2015, 08:30 PM	#2
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,794 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 82986458	coughs @CopyPat you owe me 2 lines of feed lol <3 __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime. Last edited by Witty; 10-07-2015 at 08:43 PM.

10-07-2015, 08:57 PM	#3
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 707 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742221	on it bish. where the fuck is Hollandaise?!?!?! Deleted! the fuck! __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

10-07-2015, 09:03 PM	#5
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 707 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742221	Fox my NI**A! haha. You're very good. this subject matter wasn't my favorite but i think u said this was for a topical or something? Your writing and imagery is very impressive. you carried a complex scheme throughout and made that shit butter smooth. this verse had some length but I did not labor through it because it was written with a real sense of flow, that's tough to do well and u nailed it. only a couple parts i didn't like. rhyming in action with inaction. hahahaha that's david pixley bad. wtf were u thinking? also cancerous whores and cancel his chores seemed like a last minute cheap rhyme to me too. like forced and filler, but besides those 2 this was really really good. did u win said battle with this? __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

10-07-2015, 09:04 PM	#6
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 707 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742221	Certain probly fagged it up __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

10-10-2015, 06:23 AM	#8
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,794 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 82986458	^ __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

10-10-2015, 06:35 AM	#9
Dearg Something Else Join Date: Oct 2015 Posts: 403 Battle Record: 1-2 Rep Power: 4138036	This was dope, as usual Witty. The wording was really smooth and you took a concept and made it work in a mid amount of lines. I'd liked to see this stretched out into a more in depth piece but you still managed to do it justice with what you've got here. Smooth read, stick around. <--- the feedback I gave you for this piece on RR. Now hit up one of my pieces! :( __________________

10-12-2015, 02:01 AM	#10
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,022 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349678	It might be because I haven't read a piece like this from you in awhile but that transition into the second question made me lol Strip her naked and bite, tearing her flesh, making a slice Smelling her fragrance, it's nice, then slit her throat with a grin Then scuttle away like a rodent, totally devoted to sin. "And what of the woman's family? Do you consider them?" Consider who? Those who were too weak to protect? Where is loves healing power when the demons infect? ^^^^ I thought that was weird I didnt really like that but...it was funny I enjoyed everything about this your word usage makes your pieces a fun journey its a disappointment you never show in the AOWL cause Id like to piss on you but this was cool buddy, thank for the read :) __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

10-13-2015, 04:51 PM	#11
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,794 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 82986458	Thanks bro :) __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

10-13-2015, 05:06 PM	#12
sral Shrewd as evearthed Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: Wolverhampton, England Posts: 8,251 Battle Record: 28-3 Champed - Gimmick Battle League - The Winter Topical - Topical Martyrs - Lime Green Poetry Association - Lyric Olympics - Art of Writing League - Guerrilla Writing League (2x) - Black August II Rep Power: 85899391	just got you here: http://www.rap-royalty.com/forum/tex...spectives.html __________________ - Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)

10-13-2015, 09:46 PM	#13
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,938 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	Yo this is some really good shit man...your schemes & flow be sick.Content is tight, I like when well written material just rolls off the tongue all effortless like that backed by complex schemes...dope piece. The race and the flight, the taste of saliva and the domination The chase in the night, raising a knife in the altercation The loss of patience, her face and her eyes, and the concentration It takes to put off evasion, knowing only pain will suffice Taking a nice girl and raping her twice as I bathe in the sight of her paying the price, no escape, locked up safe in a vice Strip her naked and bite, tearing her flesh, making a slice Smelling her fragrance, it's nice, then slit her throat with a grin Then scuttle away like a rodent, totally devoted to sin. ^^Fire. Well it all is really lol...thought that was raw tho. Stay upwards Irish.

10-16-2015, 06:33 PM	#14
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,794 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 82986458	Why thank you. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

10-18-2015, 10:30 AM	#15
2tripple0 death warmed over Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Downstairs illstreet dam Posts: 2,564 Battle Record: 6-21 Rep Power: 0	Aye too was not much peaking to this piece....didn't like the horror core ear simple shit with a tweak of suspense thriller... Lol wasn't feeling much...thought u could have done more in the knowledge department... Just felt like writing was too gruesome could have been smarter but you were okay but then feed got picked up.... So like mr. J I thought it could have been better.... As for dearg I'll get to feeding your piece in the OM as well __________________ https://soundcloud.com/user-876573949/ https://soundcloud.com/user-634430314/

10-22-2015, 02:37 AM	#16
JESODIST Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 295 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 976835	:) Last edited by JESODIST; 10-28-2015 at 05:31 AM.

11-04-2015, 09:33 AM	#17
MMLP Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 600 Battle Record: 15-16 Champed - Write Week 9 Rep Power: 9768087	Overall this is top notch, I will say the first part read much smoothly than the other two but the concept is so interesting, being in the perspective of a rapist/ murderer. Superbly descriptive in the first part as it was describing the brutality and the next two was basically a convo, it was coherent, rhyming and flow was largely on point, all in all, it was executed brilliantly. Its inspired me to write..... maybe a random collab with the boss! @sraL

11-05-2015, 05:05 AM	#18
sral Shrewd as evearthed Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: Wolverhampton, England Posts: 8,251 Battle Record: 28-3 Champed - Gimmick Battle League - The Winter Topical - Topical Martyrs - Lime Green Poetry Association - Lyric Olympics - Art of Writing League - Guerrilla Writing League (2x) - Black August II Rep Power: 85899391	send me some ideas/concepts/rhymes __________________ - Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)

11-05-2015, 02:27 PM	#19
Blaccalicious Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2015 Posts: 12 Rep Power: 0	nIIIIIce my mans.. I'm not into that horrorcore, serial killer shit but this was good enough to hold my attention. This would make for a good song i feel if it was extended longer. flow was dope with the rhyme schemes.. bars seemed a bit stretched but i think the way you'd spit it u could pull it off. sum slow shit would be right..Dope concept...Almost like the dectetives is picking this crazy fucks brain apart tryna find out why he killt those cunts..wordd! good shit Witty, keep it gritty.

11-15-2015, 08:35 AM	#20
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,794 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 82986458	Thanks doods. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.