"Daliwinism"

sral · 08-18-2014, 08:06 AM

"Daliwinism"

Lots has been rumoured in studies of recent
about the possible futures of us as a species.
Some of it easy to grasp and retain
while others completely baffle my brain.
The fact still remains that, all in good time,
the advancements we make will ensure we survive.
The dawn will arrive when appearances change
though the thought of it might seem a weird one today.
An era awaits for the big and the bold
when we peak as a race in physical growth
The fit and the mobile find to their luck
that symmetry’s vogue in desirable looks.
Giants become the me and you of today
right at the front of the evolutionary race.
A uniformed beige increasingly defined
due to our racial interbreeding and its rise.
What we eat within our diets sees radical change
both key to our survival and attracting a mate.
As we adapt and replace with more technology
the practical brain becomes a sought commodity.
This course we follow in leads to divide
& forms the origin of a sub-species that thrives.
Its people unlike their genetic relatives
more feeble in size and less intelligent.
They’re separate entities with inhuman physiques,
- inept degenerates who’ll do as we please.
Our beautiful-geniuses keep the ugly-stupid at bay
view them as meek and use them as slaves.
Mere tools of their trade to unearth, barter and sell
in a truth that’s as strange as the works of Dali himself…

Soulstice · 08-18-2014, 10:30 PM

Interesting piece. Wish you would've thrown out more references to Dali (unless I didnt catch them) because the ending seemed abrupt. I guess the title of the piece is a clever play on words, but the piece didn't really build toward an ending. The de-evolution of a species verse technology continuing on an opposing upward trend is interesting and i can see the way it ties into the picture, but the piece took a total sharp left to get there. The uniformed beige was a cool image, as well as some other phrasings that were cool because of they were neatly deployed into the scheme - inept degenerates, practical brain. The parts with the scheme you used in the lines with the aforementioned bits was tough to catch at first but it flowed well after a couple reads. This was a good read for what appeared to be somewhat of a keystyle, props as always

Paradigm · 08-20-2014, 02:39 AM

As we adapt and replace with more technology
the practical brain becomes a sought commodity.
This course we follow in leads to divide
& forms the origin of a sub-species that thrives.
Its people unlike their genetic relatives
more feeble in size and less intelligent.
They’re separate entities with inhuman physiques,
- inept degenerates who’ll do as we please.
Our beautiful-geniuses keep the ugly-stupid at bay
view them as meek and use them as slaves.
Mere tools of their trade to unearth, barter and sell
in a truth that’s as strange as the works of Dali himself…

was all dope. the beginning that setup the end was good but the very end was very well done. I like the topic a lot. It is weird to think that we may degenerate at some time as a species some day but looking at something like sports how athletes have grown exponentially due to science It's hard for me to think it will ever reach that point. I think somehow there will always be a balance. Good piece makes you think and you gave a great perspective. Nice job.

08-18-2014, 08:06 AM	#1
sral Shrewd as evearthed Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: Wolverhampton, England Posts: 8,255 Battle Record: 28-3 Champed - Gimmick Battle League - The Winter Topical - Topical Martyrs - Lime Green Poetry Association - Lyric Olympics - Art of Writing League - Guerrilla Writing League (2x) - Black August II Rep Power: 85899391	"Daliwinism" "Daliwinism" Lots has been rumoured in studies of recent about the possible futures of us as a species. Some of it easy to grasp and retain while others completely baffle my brain. The fact still remains that, all in good time, the advancements we make will ensure we survive. The dawn will arrive when appearances change though the thought of it might seem a weird one today. An era awaits for the big and the bold when we peak as a race in physical growth The fit and the mobile find to their luck that symmetry’s vogue in desirable looks. Giants become the me and you of today right at the front of the evolutionary race. A uniformed beige increasingly defined due to our racial interbreeding and its rise. What we eat within our diets sees radical change both key to our survival and attracting a mate. As we adapt and replace with more technology the practical brain becomes a sought commodity. This course we follow in leads to divide & forms the origin of a sub-species that thrives. Its people unlike their genetic relatives more feeble in size and less intelligent. They’re separate entities with inhuman physiques, - inept degenerates who’ll do as we please. Our beautiful-geniuses keep the ugly-stupid at bay view them as meek and use them as slaves. Mere tools of their trade to unearth, barter and sell in a truth that’s as strange as the works of Dali himself… Last edited by sral; 08-18-2014 at 01:23 PM.

08-18-2014, 10:30 PM	#2
Soulstice native system Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 387 Battle Record: 18-21 Champed - Short-Verse Topical Rep Power: 4453407	Interesting piece. Wish you would've thrown out more references to Dali (unless I didnt catch them) because the ending seemed abrupt. I guess the title of the piece is a clever play on words, but the piece didn't really build toward an ending. The de-evolution of a species verse technology continuing on an opposing upward trend is interesting and i can see the way it ties into the picture, but the piece took a total sharp left to get there. The uniformed beige was a cool image, as well as some other phrasings that were cool because of they were neatly deployed into the scheme - inept degenerates, practical brain. The parts with the scheme you used in the lines with the aforementioned bits was tough to catch at first but it flowed well after a couple reads. This was a good read for what appeared to be somewhat of a keystyle, props as always

08-20-2014, 02:39 AM	#3
Paradigm ___________ Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: California Posts: 1,989 Battle Record: 4-4 Champed - The Ultimate Textcee - NBL Cypher Rep Power: 11033508	As we adapt and replace with more technology the practical brain becomes a sought commodity. This course we follow in leads to divide & forms the origin of a sub-species that thrives. Its people unlike their genetic relatives more feeble in size and less intelligent. They’re separate entities with inhuman physiques, - inept degenerates who’ll do as we please. Our beautiful-geniuses keep the ugly-stupid at bay view them as meek and use them as slaves. Mere tools of their trade to unearth, barter and sell in a truth that’s as strange as the works of Dali himself… was all dope. the beginning that setup the end was good but the very end was very well done. I like the topic a lot. It is weird to think that we may degenerate at some time as a species some day but looking at something like sports how athletes have grown exponentially due to science It's hard for me to think it will ever reach that point. I think somehow there will always be a balance. Good piece makes you think and you gave a great perspective. Nice job.