05-22-2020, 06:30 PM | #1 |
low tide in serotonin bay
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WEEK 9: Pharaohs Army vs Vulgar(sub)
GUERRILLA WRITING LEAGUE @Inno @Pharaohs Army Max line: 30 Min: 10 Check in: 48 hours after thread post DUE DATE: MAY 27TH @ 11:59PM EST GOOD LUCK! Last edited by Inno; 05-31-2020 at 07:27 PM. |
05-23-2020, 01:10 PM | #2 |
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check gl
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05-25-2020, 10:24 PM | #3 |
Ad mini tator
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yo
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05-27-2020, 09:12 PM | #4 |
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Extendo
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05-27-2020, 10:34 PM | #5 |
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Overcast, as I made my way to the stained park bench.
Dusk approaching as the hot day ends. Looked around the park, decided to rest my eyes. Awakened by hail, pelting my body to my surprise. Tried to get up and flee but…no time! In an instant the twister was on me; must’ve formed right above me. Thought I could lay low but now I’m hit by a tornado. Oh shit. Nicks and cuts, as the small debris hit. The sound of a locomotive as I was sucked up in it. Time stretched. 15 seconds felt like 5 minutes. The wind was pulling, wooshing, whirling, swirling, stinging. The hail turned to whipping rain; I was getting drenched. Unbelievably I was still on the bench. (Never saw it coming. There was no portent.) Saw three gray doves inside the raging vortex. Plus 2 pickup trucks, and the park’s facilities complex. I’m sure there was much more of the twister’s contents. But I didn’t see them, as I was (finally) thrown from the bench and out of the cyclone. Landed in a mowed clearing with a few scratches. Thought I could run right home! Instead I thought I’d look for survivors who were stranded probly. Took 2 steps and a large car landed on me. |
05-29-2020, 11:29 PM | #6 |
Razor-thin derision
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Birdy
Davide sat at the park bench, fairly bored, resting his legs His long days at work adding up. Caressing his neck He heard a pelican's beak click, nestling around looking for worms Watching it without judgement - it lived life on its terms according to the pecking order, he was 'above' it. A slower version maybe but a focused, working aviary caged being, engaged in thought The onus to brave seas to explore and cure lakes of drought but the birds? They'd just chirp and play their parts. However, the birds had different ideas that day and Davide realized quick that they were fast -- descendants of dinosaurs -- those distant times exist He sat on the park bench, his movement so restrictive and weak The birds seemed to hear his inner monologue, and flew in circles at warpspeed It got his attention at least... |
05-31-2020, 07:10 PM | #7 |
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PA, lulz, well the ending cracked me up. this was like super literal to the picture ha ha. It read like a crazy merry melodie text piece. very matter of factly. It lacked your usual flair and pizzaz but i think we all know youre a great writer. perhaps you just wasn't motivated this week. Still, i found myself quite entertained by this verse.
inno, why my man? you're such a good writer lulz. V-Man. After heeding to the call of Gotham's Writing League, the enigmatic Vulgar came through with another awesome verse. Hey man, i'm not ashame to admit i've been reading a whole bunch of your verses from all those aowl seasons. i'm not quite sure what this verse was about but the writing is still as sharp as ever. very nice my man. v/ vulgar Last edited by Scar; 05-31-2020 at 08:11 PM. |
06-01-2020, 05:01 AM | #8 |
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PA - as usual i enjoy your nonchalent style this was polished and finessed with some good humor it painted a fun picture good shit
Vulger - fine example of ya writing skillz poetic but this piece felt a lil wordy for me technically and lyrically sound but lacked the personality that pharoah brought with his verse vote - Pharaoh Army |
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