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Old 06-02-2020, 12:19 AM   #1
Adverse
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Default Ever-Suffering, Forevermore. (A Poem)

And so it goes..
The flames of enamorment were saturated by the rains of embarrassment
The trickling of reality proved too strong for whatever magic it was enchanted with
Found that glimmering sliver of light shining through a crack in the stone
But once I turned to excavate my escape there was no longer weakness in her walls
And as I clambered through obsession, you shattered my perception
Now I talk to a phantom in these glass panes, a man I’ve never met before
Monotony is a bear trap with its teeth in my ankle...
I’ll either have to tear my flesh from it or let nature have her way with me

Running circles in this labyrinth, still haven't found an answer yet
To how you could bury me and fill my soul with unrest
In the same. Fucking. Breath...
Should have ignored that spark in the dark, my supposed saving grace
That "guiding light" was just the last of the embers dying in this colorless, fleeting place

Bid me farewell as I decay in the furthest recesses of your mind..
Unreachable, in terrains impassable, ever-suffering, forevermore

Last edited by Adverse; 06-02-2020 at 12:23 AM.
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Old 06-02-2020, 12:46 AM   #2
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Found that glimmering sliver of light shining through a crack in the stone
But once I turned to excavate my escape there was no longer weakness in her walls
And as I clambered through obsession, you shattered my perception
Now I talk to a phantom in these glass panes, a man I’ve never met before
Monotony is a bear trap with its teeth in my ankle...
I’ll either have to tear my flesh from it or let nature have her way with me

^^Dope...

Loved the read fam, what I quoted stood out imo...Imagery for days.

Stay up & safe bro.
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Old 06-09-2020, 03:36 PM   #3
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Hey Ad, just stopping by to show some love, my man. you know what i noticed? "Of" is often the go-to preposition for poetry-style writers. i just recently realize that cause i do it too at times lulz. anyway man this is a sad poem. i think its about a breakup and the painful aftermath. lots of truth here as im sure we all have these experiences. you break up, but usually its a cry for something, but then they just kind of move on and that shit in itself is like throwing salt in a wound while trying to cauterize it with molten lava infested with cryptonite, when your supposed to be superman.

Quote:
But once I turned to excavate my escape there was no longer weakness in her walls
that was great.

Quote:
Monotony is a bear trap with its teeth in my ankle...
this line felt off. i think i get it, like repetition or habit will lead to some kind of stasis but the analogy itself like bear trap somehow felt off idk lul

Quote:
Should have ignored that spark in the dark, my supposed saving grace
That "guiding light" was just the last of the embers dying in this colorless, fleeting place
that was awesome.
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Old 06-09-2020, 09:32 PM   #4
Eŋg
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slightly confused why you chose to label this a poem when it's written in much the same form as most scripts on these sites (and presumably your other writing though i've never read you). that's not to discount scripts from poetry, either. i mean it's all verse. but yea, weird distinction to make.

add to that, this wasn't good. trite and derivative. soz.
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