Baron Mynd's Nasty Finds - "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover"

[sral]

A Serbian Film
Cannibal Holocaust
August Underground Mordum
Dogtooth
In A Glass Cage
Megan Is Missing
Eden Lake
Irreversible
The Human Centipede 2
Funny Games US
Cutting Moments
Pink Flamingos
Salo aka 120 Days of Sodom
The Girl Next Door
Snowtown
I Stand Alone
Man Bites Dog
Mum & Dad
Requiem For A Dream
Dumplings
Deliverance
Nil By Mouth
American History X
The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, Her Lover
Kids
The Skin I Live In
Happiness
Strawdogs
Taxidermia
Martyrs
Inside
Maniac (2011)
Feed
Maniac (original)
Antichrist
Freaks
Mysterious Skin
Meet The Feebles
The Incredible Shrinking Man
The Human Centipede
Enter The Void

[sral]

The Green Inferno

So I'm slightly inebriated and just realised this got delivered. I'll start by saying I've wanted to like Eli Roth, but I've found a few of his previous films not living up to the hype. I hope it's different here. He's a huge fan of the cannibal films of the 80's so I'm hoping he does this justice!


The female genitalia mutulation scene early on is quite shocking, didn't expect to see that so early on haha! I hate the white chick in this, instantly. She looks like a crackhead. The dialogue with the prettier white chick and Allessandro or whatever seems awkward and unnatural. The little love triangle thing instantly bored me too, there's just no need.

The basic story follows that Justine meets an activist called Alejandro who wants to save the Amazon. Smitten, she agrees... but soon regrets her decision when their plane crashes in the Peruvian Jungle and their group are taken captive by bloodthirsty cannibals.

LOL @ a tarantula almost biting the guys cock while he stopped for a piss! Should have done it. Or had him shoot his dick off. Either would have been cooler than neither. The supporting cast do well though and the story is building nicely at this point. They plane crashed where the driver gets a pole through his face is pretty cool, someone catches a propeller blade to the face too which is decent but not nearly as gory as Id like and over all too fast.

The travellers/activists are soon ambushed by the cannibals - mostly shot with either poison darts or arrows shot at them. The cannibals camp or village is displayed really well with several severed heads and rib cages lining pointed pieces of wood and the cannibals themselves all coated in a rich red blood looking colour. Great stuff. There's more than a few nods to Cannibal Holocaust at this point which was great for me as a fan of the genre! I disliked the "look" if the cannibal chief at this point (Crack Sparrow) just when I was really digging this flick. The pig pen almost reminded me of Cannibal Ferox so I did enjoy seeing them running around haha! The eyes being torn out and eaten was a cool scene, if a little over the top, but lord knows how the tongue removal and limb dismemberment made it past the excessive violence regulators - of the head dismemberment and blood drinking. Thoroughly entertaining stuff! The idea of the captives "smelling" their friend being cooked works well, too. I thought it was a nice touch - vastly overlooked - Roth did well with that idea. The scenes of meat slog being stripped from bone with sharpened tools is nicely done too and well thought out. There's then a scene where one of the captives needs to shit real bad while in the pen they're all trapped. It's long, noisy, and meant to be amusing but I found it anything but. I'd have almost certainly cut that.

Crack Sparrow the cannibal leader seems to insert some giant blade-cum-tusk into the three women's vaginas to see if they're virgins. Only the final one passes the test by bleeding onto the tusk/sharpened bone. This seems to delight the cannibal kind, but she's soon thrown back in the wooden cage with the other "survivors". The captives are fed some meat of their former friend, unknowingly, and when one female friend in particular realises - she breaks a pot into shards and slits her own throat in horror! Alejandro decides to masturbate, as you would with a corpse next to you with its throat slit. Regardless, the guys hit on a genuis plan to hide some pot they have INSIDE THE CORPSE of the suicidal woman... The belief being, as she's cooked alive, it will stone the lot of them. As ridiculous as it seems, it works, with some so stoned they fall from their tree perches whiles others lie laughing with their friends. Inevitably, they then get the munchies and want to eat - tearing apart one of the male captives in what I'd say is a knowing nod to the film Maniac right at its climax. Good stuff! There's a hugely pointless scene where one chick jumps in a muddy river and gets washed away upstream and needs saving. She's saved within about 30 seconds. There is literally no point to this happening and it feels out of place. I'd cut it. So we follow two survivors as they're attempting to escape... only their plan is foiled, and they're soon recaptured. The females body is strapped up in stocks and she's being prepped for a meal as her friend is tied to a wooden stake and hacked to pieces, slowly, limb for limb. The hogtied female seems as if she is being prepped for something more significant. The male is then covered in ants that proceed to bite his skin as he suffers and its prolonged. Eventually, a young native cannibal boy the chick had befriended earlier in the film agrees to free her and show her to freedom. She escapes. Just as she's finally rescued, there's a scene where a helicopter pilot asks if there was anyone else left to save. She says no, despite knowing Alejandro is still trapped in a cage with the cannibals - and is most likely their next meal! This could make way for a sequel, I guess? Maybe with him as the head of the cannibals, maybe something different all together? The ending was okay, maybe not the sickening/disturbing sort of thing I had hoped but definitely not bad and with a few flashes of brilliance brought to keep me interested in Eli Roth and his potential. When he gets it right, I thoroughly enjoy his stuff, but certain parts just seem a little corny or amateurish to me - the shit scene in particular with this film, I just don't feel like it's the type of film that needed that toilet humour. Maybe it's just me? Anyway, I enjoyed this movie, loved seeing the decapitation and dismemberment relatively early on - I can see a few people not liking this as much, but others appreciating the nods to the films gone by, which is certainly how I viewed it. If I'm not missing something, I feel the lead female painted white with the red band over the eyes could be a cult image many will recognise for years to come!

[sral]

Frozen

I didn't have high hopes for this one going into it. It was rated 15, which isn't the end of the world, but the majority of my shit is unrated or pre-certification so having those ratings on usually means it's child friendly or cut - two of the things I generally steer away from.

The film follows a young couple, and the guys best friend. They head up on to a ski resort and use one of those sky rides to get up. The problems start once they attempt to get back down, when the machine is stopped - a storm is incoming - and the park isn't due to re-open for 5 or so days!

One of the groups males decides he will jump down from the sky ride to try and get help. He jumps, lands, and ends up breaking both of his legs - with a glorious shot of the bone poking out of the side. That's pretty graphic and fucked up haha!

The two remaining friends in the sky ride cart realise if they don't act soon, their broken legged bro is gonna freeze and die in the wilderness. One strikes up the ingenious idea of climbing the cable car, then descending back on themselves to reach a car nearer the floor to avoid further bone breaking as they jump down. Just at this moment, a MOUNTAIN WOLF appears at the feet of the invalid who jumped down and broke both legs! Amazing. Luckily, one of them up in the cable cart unhooks their snowboard in time and it scares the mountain wolf away...

... The wolf returns with a pack this time though and they eat the friend, howling echoing throughout the snowcapped trees and mountain until silence envelops the remaining two friends. Good stuff!

The friends then start blaming each other for letting him jump, knowing it was too high. Both question each other but there was really little either could do in that situation. The movie returns to the following day, both friends are sat in the sky ride and it's been so cold - the females hand is frozen to the metallic safety bar on the cart. She peels it off as the skin sticks to the ice, frozen to it, leaving a bloody print where her hand had sat. That's a good scene!

There's an intermission where the two friends talk on what they'll do when they get home eyc before one of them attempts to climb back to the can behind - and makes it. He fights off a mountain wolf before grabbing a board and snowboarding down the mountain with a pack of wolves following. The one friend is still stuck in the sky ride for hours as day turns to night. She's heavily frost bitten and with no sign of he guy making it back to save her, starts looking to jump from the cart.

The cart at this point snaps, sending her towards the ground, only for it to suspend her mid way down. Clinging on for her life, the chords then start snapping and she's forced to jump before it crashes - saving her life, but the cart lands on her ankle - stopping her from walking. She crawls trough the snow, stumbling across the wolf pack as they devour a meal... what looks to be her friend!

She crawls on her stomach and falls down the mountain, finally reaching a point with passing traffic but is unable to stand to contact them or stop them for help. Someone eventually finds her asleep and exhausted at the foot of the snowy mountain and she's taken to safety. The end.

I'd have sooner it had a final horrific twist and ended badly, I'm not a fan of happy endings. This one was surprisingly decent despite its low age rating. I wouldn't put it in my "most disturbing" films at all, though some had, hence it being reviewed. Give this one a miss!

[sral]

I've ordered a few Category 3 films that are literally insane. Things like the Death File series, Gusomilk (scat porn/shit), MASD-004 (more of the same, I think? Scat porn-esque), MDPOPE 1 and 2, Genki (tentacle porn, don't ask!), Squirmfest (everything you can think of, Scat/Piss/centipedes crawling out of orifices etc)

AMONG OTHER DELIGHTS TO COME, OH YES!

Just had a signed Melancholie der Engel delivered signed by Marian Dora, I've got a copy of The Green Elephant being delivered, a few other crazy shits being worked on too like Mu Zane, Orcozo The Embalmer, Niku Daruma etc

I imagine these may challenge for those coveted spots at the top of my list. I'll update the thread as they're received/watched!

[sral]

Dard Divorce

This one is a German splatter-fest so I expected semi-good things. The director was new to me, Olaf Ittenbach, though looking into him more he seems to have done a few films I wasn't aware of.

The acting is poor but what I had been promised was a European splatter fest, so I expected lot even with the poor acting. The version I have is in English but with German subtitles. This one was somewhat of a slow burning surprise for me, personally. I almost knew what to expect but went in blind...

The acting was poor throughout but that's not the selling point with films like this. It's the gore and special effects, and boy does this pack a punch! So, twenty minutes in and we've got a story about a guy divorcing his wife but wanting access to his kids. The guy supposedly dies. Terrible acting, made worse by the fact it's done in English rather than German. If you can make it past this though, as I did, you're treated to some of the most graphic acts of violence I've seen so far on my journey. The scenes are VERY graphic, including a body dismemberment in a bathtub as the lead protagonist is naked and hacking the body parts from the torso as blood splatters his body.

Ill point out one scene in particular that had me viewing like "What the fuck!" as it happened and that was an attack with a spade. This scene is pretty fucking brutal, even for me as a fan of this shit, only let down slightly by the fact a hand is hacked off at the wrist with the spade and it bounces off the floor. It made what was an otherwise gruesome act slightly unbelievable. The whole thing is brutal. I loved it. That scene alone places this highly on my list. It was unforgettable. Following the spade attack, the victims guts are torn out in a fit of rage then thrown back in/on the victims face. The attacker makes some cheesy as fuck quip I forget off hand afterward, but I laughed out loud and had to pause it there before moving on.

I can't stress how brutal the spade scene was. It literally had me like "What the FUCK!" At the screen and I checked the DVD rating as it had only said it was a 15. I was right. It was a 15, unbelievably. Sure, the acting was pretty bad at times but I put that down to them trying to speak in English rather than German. The special effects on this were good, though, really fucking good. I loved it. After reading up on the director afterwards, I've since purchased another 3-4 by him and am chasing a few others.

Would I recommend this to you guys? Possibly not as the acting isn't that great, but it IS worth sticking around for the gore. I'm not really a gorehound but I really enjoyed the violent scenes in this. The 15 rating is surprising. Anyone interested should def at least find the movie on YouTube and give it a watch, even if you don't want to spend your hard earned on securing a copy like I did. This one easily gate crashes my top 15-20 with its shocking violent scenes. Don't sleep on this one!

[sral]

SO GUYS, THERE'S BEEN A DEVELOPMENT!

I'VE BEEN TALKING TO A GUY WHO SOURCES MOVIES FOR TOETAG / UNEARTHED FILMS AS HIS JOB

WE GOT TALKING ABOUT ME WANTING TO DO A CHANNEL ON EXTREME CINEMA REVIEWS ETC

HE'S GONNA SEND ME SHIT OVER FOR ME TO REVIEW

SO, I'VE STARTED A NEW CHANNEL:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpL...JryWgAmBffffQg

NO VIDS UP AS YET, BUT THE FIRST WILL BE VERY SOON, OH... AND IT WILL BE "GUSOMILK" THAT GETS REVIEWED FIRST!!!!!! @Objective @Genocide @Mr. J @Muff @MMLP @Plot @Vulgar @anime_boners @BROKE LESNAR

LOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL

HELP A NCG OUT AND SUBSCRIBE TO MY SHIT

I'M ABOUT TO TAKE YOU ALL ON A JOURNEY OF THE BIZARREST ISH OUT THERE ON THE NET!

[Objective]

That's dope af @sraL! Congrats, definitely subbed. Looking forward to this shit.

[Useless]

Originally Posted by sraL

SO GUYS, THERE'S BEEN A DEVELOPMENT!

I'VE BEEN TALKING TO A GUY WHO SOURCES MOVIES FOR TOETAG / UNEARTHED FILMS AS HIS JOB

WE GOT TALKING ABOUT ME WANTING TO DO A CHANNEL ON EXTREME CINEMA REVIEWS ETC

HE'S GONNA SEND ME SHIT OVER FOR ME TO REVIEW

SO, I'VE STARTED A NEW CHANNEL:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpL...JryWgAmBffffQg

NO VIDS UP AS YET, BUT THE FIRST WILL BE VERY SOON, OH... AND IT WILL BE "GUSOMILK" THAT GETS REVIEWED FIRST!!!!!! @Objective @Genocide @Mr. J @Muff

LOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL

HELP A NCG OUT AND SUBSCRIBE TO MY SHIT

I'M ABOUT TO TAKE YOU ALL ON A JOURNEY OF THE BIZARREST ISH OUT THERE ON THE NET!

Lars has unwittingly become a part of one the movies he loves so much. This will not end well for him.




Seriously tho, there's something wrong with u. And I pray for u. Not really, but yea.

This some fucked up shit.

[sral]

What's fucked up about it?

I just started a review channel about something I'm clearly passionate and knowledgable about.

[slech]

Originally Posted by sraL

The Green Inferno

So I'm slightly inebriated and just realised this got delivered. I'll start by saying I've wanted to like Eli Roth, but I've found a few of his previous films not living up to the hype. I hope it's different here. He's a huge fan of the cannibal films of the 80's so I'm hoping he does this justice!


The female genitalia mutulation scene early on is quite shocking, didn't expect to see that so early on haha! I hate the white chick in this, instantly. She looks like a crackhead. The dialogue with the prettier white chick and Allessandro or whatever seems awkward and unnatural. The little love triangle thing instantly bored me too, there's just no need.

The basic story follows that Justine meets an activist called Alejandro who wants to save the Amazon. Smitten, she agrees... but soon regrets her decision when their plane crashes in the Peruvian Jungle and their group are taken captive by bloodthirsty cannibals.

LOL @ a tarantula almost biting the guys cock while he stopped for a piss! Should have done it. Or had him shoot his dick off. Either would have been cooler than neither. The supporting cast do well though and the story is building nicely at this point. They plane crashed where the driver gets a pole through his face is pretty cool, someone catches a propeller blade to the face too which is decent but not nearly as gory as Id like and over all too fast.

The travellers/activists are soon ambushed by the cannibals - mostly shot with either poison darts or arrows shot at them. The cannibals camp or village is displayed really well with several severed heads and rib cages lining pointed pieces of wood and the cannibals themselves all coated in a rich red blood looking colour. Great stuff. There's more than a few nods to Cannibal Holocaust at this point which was great for me as a fan of the genre! I disliked the "look" if the cannibal chief at this point (Crack Sparrow) just when I was really digging this flick. The pig pen almost reminded me of Cannibal Ferox so I did enjoy seeing them running around haha! The eyes being torn out and eaten was a cool scene, if a little over the top, but lord knows how the tongue removal and limb dismemberment made it past the excessive violence regulators - of the head dismemberment and blood drinking. Thoroughly entertaining stuff! The idea of the captives "smelling" their friend being cooked works well, too. I thought it was a nice touch - vastly overlooked - Roth did well with that idea. The scenes of meat slog being stripped from bone with sharpened tools is nicely done too and well thought out. There's then a scene where one of the captives needs to shit real bad while in the pen they're all trapped. It's long, noisy, and meant to be amusing but I found it anything but. I'd have almost certainly cut that.

Crack Sparrow the cannibal leader seems to insert some giant blade-cum-tusk into the three women's vaginas to see if they're virgins. Only the final one passes the test by bleeding onto the tusk/sharpened bone. This seems to delight the cannibal kind, but she's soon thrown back in the wooden cage with the other "survivors". The captives are fed some meat of their former friend, unknowingly, and when one female friend in particular realises - she breaks a pot into shards and slits her own throat in horror! Alejandro decides to masturbate, as you would with a corpse next to you with its throat slit. Regardless, the guys hit on a genuis plan to hide some pot they have INSIDE THE CORPSE of the suicidal woman... The belief being, as she's cooked alive, it will stone the lot of them. As ridiculous as it seems, it works, with some so stoned they fall from their tree perches whiles others lie laughing with their friends. Inevitably, they then get the munchies and want to eat - tearing apart one of the male captives in what I'd say is a knowing nod to the film Maniac right at its climax. Good stuff! There's a hugely pointless scene where one chick jumps in a muddy river and gets washed away upstream and needs saving. She's saved within about 30 seconds. There is literally no point to this happening and it feels out of place. I'd cut it. So we follow two survivors as they're attempting to escape... only their plan is foiled, and they're soon recaptured. The females body is strapped up in stocks and she's being prepped for a meal as her friend is tied to a wooden stake and hacked to pieces, slowly, limb for limb. The hogtied female seems as if she is being prepped for something more significant. The male is then covered in ants that proceed to bite his skin as he suffers and its prolonged. Eventually, a young native cannibal boy the chick had befriended earlier in the film agrees to free her and show her to freedom. She escapes. Just as she's finally rescued, there's a scene where a helicopter pilot asks if there was anyone else left to save. She says no, despite knowing Alejandro is still trapped in a cage with the cannibals - and is most likely their next meal! This could make way for a sequel, I guess? Maybe with him as the head of the cannibals, maybe something different all together? The ending was okay, maybe not the sickening/disturbing sort of thing I had hoped but definitely not bad and with a few flashes of brilliance brought to keep me interested in Eli Roth and his potential. When he gets it right, I thoroughly enjoy his stuff, but certain parts just seem a little corny or amateurish to me - the shit scene in particular with this film, I just don't feel like it's the type of film that needed that toilet humour. Maybe it's just me? Anyway, I enjoyed this movie, loved seeing the decapitation and dismemberment relatively early on - I can see a few people not liking this as much, but others appreciating the nods to the films gone by, which is certainly how I viewed it. If I'm not missing something, I feel the lead female painted white with the red band over the eyes could be a cult image many will recognise for years to come!

about to watch this soon. good stuff here reviewing it

[El Muffin]

SALO FTW

SUBBIN WHEN I MK ACCOUNT

[BROKE LESNAR]

that's mint bro i'll check it out soon

[sral]

Got some new ish delivered:



Mu Zan E, GSKD Boxset, Pig Chicken Suicide, Niku Daruma aka Tumbling Doll of Flesh and Human Toilet



Death File: Red, Black, Yellow, Death Women, Death Body, MDPOPE 1 and 2, Guinea Pig: Lucky Sky Diamond, Gusomilk 1-4

[Flow]

Freakshow is good if it wasnt on your list

And by good i mean boring until the end which is just fucked up

[Mr. J]

Was the quip 'need a hand?'

[sral]

lmaooooooo you mean from Dard Divorce?

its literally either that about the hand or something about "i knew you couldnt stomach it" after the guts are thrown in his face

i literally was in shock at how savage the scene was with the spade, then burst out laughing and had to leave the room when he said the line

try youtube and search "dard divorce shovel/spade scene" or something

i could only find the german uncut scene (whilst at work) but its pretty brutal

[sral]

Originally Posted by Muff

SALO FTW

SUBBIN WHEN I MK ACCOUNT

Salo is ranked pretty lowly by me. I dunno.

I'm not the biggest fan of Martyrs either though which seems to be heresy to the majority of horror fans.

Diff strokes for diff folks, I guess...

[sral]

Originally Posted by Flo Real

Freakshow is good if it wasnt on your list

And by good i mean boring until the end which is just fucked up

Do you mean American Horror Story, or is it a film by that name?

Link me to it.

[Flow]

Originally Posted by sraL

Do you mean American Horror Story, or is it a film by that name?

Link me to it.

Nah man its this
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freakshow_(film)

Dunno where youll find it its apparantly banned. Like i said though it suck until the ending an then just fucked up lol

[sral]

It's on EBay for £5.95 with postage included. It's a remake of Todd Brownings "Freaks" that I've already reviewed in here, not hard to find at all tbh

LOL

I'll check it out!