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Old 11-13-2014, 10:33 PM   #1
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Default October 2014 review for www.netcees.co Open Mic section

October review for www.netcees.co Open Mic section.

Greetings all members, this is a short effort to highlight and review some of the uploads for October. Uploads were chosen for the short review by just a random cross section along with some individually chosen uploads. Again, like the last review it will follow a copy and paste template and just a sample of perhaps 20 or so will be reviewed. The format is; Username: “Title” URL – date.

Cross section of uploads for October:


@CopyPat : “The Death Of the Muzzle” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=100987 - 10-16-2014

““Hey everyone, I came to this site to improve my writing skills
You dudes are mighty ill. I’m working tirelessly to hone my craft
And your work inspired me so I wrote some raps
I poked my glasses up and turned on my headlamp”

Short review: This was an excellent and humorous upload. It was excellent because of the high quality rhyming display and it was humorous because of its caricature of the member called the Muzzl3. At first, it was confusing but after using the search function, it is clear it was a very funny joke about the user the Muzzl3. It seems to be in good taste as well, without crossing the line into outright personal attack. Recommending this if you are familiar with the member called the Muzzl3.

@dead man : “11:59PM” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=99110 - 10-07-2014

“truly unattached to any character plot
pick the rose, let it pool your blood. remember me not
as the devil grasses drop into a central crevasse
cliffside, like a melody I've all but forgotten”

Short review: The rhyming schemes here were different from dead man in comparison to his dominant/favoured style. It is not lesser or greater than usual, just a bit different. There was less emphasis on the strictly so called ‘perfect’ multiple rhymes. I personally liked it. There is also a very good review in the comments by the user Certain. Recommending this especially if you are familiar with dead man’s previous uploads, and you would like to also note the slight contrast in style here.

@N10tionalMalice : “Breaking Point” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=100663 - 10-15-2014

“Im Anthony Mason on this flow
Im angry and annoyed
Boys claimin' that boss noise
but the game got 'em falsely employed/”

Short review: Quite a good short battle rap. There are some aggressive lines that are stronger than others, and there are some lines that fall a bit flat. It lacks a bit of flair in terms of rhyming. That being the ‘now it’s too late to cram for your final exam’ part was a good aggressive line!

@theMuzzl3 : “Dissing The White Netcee” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=100281 - 10-13-2014

“I'm so white, and my raps flow so tightly.
And, if you 'diss' me, you will miss me.
I'll be so offended, I'll contact my lawyer.
He'll sign up for this site, and drop the law on yer ass.”

Short review: This was a somewhat strange hybrid of a battle rap and a self-reflective train of thought ramble. It was equal parts aggressive against and self-depreciative. Kind of a weird contradictory mixture but somehow it was very entertaining to read. It also features a video of a blues musician singing into a megaphone at the end just to add to the overall oddness?

@Bad Milk : “self realization.” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=99437 - 10-08-2014

“I'm trying to hard to be complicated
in my verses
using words i don't use in person but
is it all worth it?”

Short review: Somewhat short upload seemingly about the dominant paradigm of the OM. The thing about the OM is there is no real dominant style. Anyone who writes interestingly will establish themselves quickly within the paradigm, the user brokenhal0 is a good example. This upload also had a good argument in the comments section.

@PancakeBrah : “11 A.M.” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=98659 - 04-17-2014

“I struck a match, and put to fire the bottom of a pack of Marlboro Reds
just to inhale the fumes. The paper and tobacco was already, already dead
got a high that put to shame the buzz that'd I get off a morning drag,
the sensation was dregs. Drunk, watching my mouth talk,
as sentences bled to another, rambling with South Park in the background.”

Short review: It has some different references that allow the writers personality and interests to be known. There were a few noticeable shifts in tone throughout the upload here. For example, go compare the first paragraph to the second and then to the third. You may agree that each has an independent feel to it.

@Mr. J “Nevermind I'm Done?” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=98104 - 10-01-2014

“As it...cascades my brain, this most abstract pain
this absent gain, in what was once called passion
Rain, hits the window and brings life when the sun's out
covering the traveler lost on I-5 when your thumb's out”

Short review: Thankyou Mr. J. You are one of the most prolific uploaders here. Even when you receive almost no comments, you will continue to upload a new submission, it is a good attitude too have and it inspires activity in the other members. Good effort. Here I would like to see you use some basic punctuation, I think it would improve your readability.

@Pinot Grij : “The Crazy Never Die” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=100039 - 10-11-2014

“Mortimer Cocksmith was overly cautious
Mostly, he’s nauseous, petrified by the hold of his conscience
He’d never provoke a neighbor, that ain’t in his wholesome nature
Cuz folks who are known to anger are more prone to danger”

Short review: Recommending this one here, it is evenly split into two separate stories that converge at the end on a similar theme – whether it is better to live a long boring life or a short exciting life. The humour in this comes from the absurd/ridiculous turn of events in each. We have cuckoldry, shark surfing, crying after masturbation and ‘Extreme Downhill Banging.’

@Zen : “ROSA PARKS” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=100117 - 10-12-2014

“I GO HARD JUST TYPING FAST.
DRIVING BACK FROM ROSA PARKS.
GOT A FIREARM BLASTING GLOWING ORANGE.
MY CHIROPRACTOR SNAPPED YA. BROKE YOUR ARM.”

Short review: Just a short and funny battle rap. It seems like a satire, good effort, provoked an internal chuckle in some parts.

@Kin : “Love or Hate It” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=95226 - 09-17-2014

“if you've been tuning in...Me an Gritty are doin' a whole mixtape...may post one other track besides this then will drop the link to get that free download when it's complete...

Beat- Kin

1st- Gz
2nd- Kin”

Short review: Follow the hyperlink and press play on the souncloud.com embedded hyperlink to hear the song. I really enjoyed listening to this song, the audio quality was quite good and the rapping was great. I especially enjoyed the voice of the first individual. The words in the refrain “but you can love or hate it” – was interesting because it sounded like a single word “Bachooka.” Excellent song!

@Adonis : “Deconstructing Yahweh” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=89538 – 08-19-2014

“Creatures with no home, still they pillage and roam.
Lived on there own with no ruler or throne,
No guidelines to break or disappoints to make.
No anointed charade crucified to hide the evil they crave.”

Short review : Adonis’s uploads are quite infrequent. He is more active in the AOWL competition, I am familiar with his writing having competed against him a number of times. This upload here is probably among his best written. There is a good analysis in the comments section as well. Recommending this upload as a good piece of reading.

@UnbornBuddha : “Disfigured hand” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=97674 - 09-30-2014

“This is a disfigured hand structuring itself as it clasps particles.
Deformities are shaped anew by upgrading outclassed arsenal.
Angst is marginal when fulfilling all the past karmic goals of your passed departed soul.
As for me, art and prose has consumed my very life, my heart a harnessed poem”

Short review: I really really really really really enjoyed this upload. Can’t stress it enough, the disjointed nature of the individual sentences added to the feel of the writing in such a huge way. It meshed perfectly with like the religious/spiritual guru stuff. I can imagine this being very powerful in a slam poetry or an artistic open mic in a spoken word kind of thing. This was a good level of complexity, in the AOWL you have been going further lately. When you are around this level it is much more readable and effective. Big recommendation here.

@Split : “6 am” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=98871 - 1 0-06-2014

“trace sidewalks alive, skies a spotless cerulean blue.
then watch the chalk melt in tomorrow's ensuing deluge.
you cant accept life and death and refute the impermanent,
but you can ride through the loops with a stoop for a firmament.”

Short review: This was Split’s most concerted effort in multiple rhyming. It was great, the rhyming was a marvel to read. Apparently, we split eight has renounced this website. AN ODE TO SPLIT EIGHT - We’ll miss your humorous comments, arguing with conspiracy theorists about school shootings and comets. Always the skeptic with an inquisitive mind, writing about winters in Boston with such intricate lines. Without you here now, it all feels hopeless, we had Certain compile a list of all our top 10 Split Eight moments. You were the closest thing to an internet brother in arms, we just can’t believe that you’re gone. No offense intended Sharp Nine, but you two were never alike, Split Eight was one hell of a guy. One day you're here, the next day you leave. "A recondite winter leaf." Now you rest in peace.


@Vulgar : “How about a safe landing, Captain?” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=92055 - 09-01-2014

“The black box Von Richtoffens -
As with any have-nots or slack-jaws with marked dividends
A mask slot can turn your rash thoughts to calm diligence!
Bomb businesses but we're not in the business of bombs...
building a balm Biggums sniffs, a broad filament caulk”

Short review: Vulgar increased the intensity of the references here, it is more similar to a homage to the earlier style of uploads by Vulgar. However, it still has the story progression that Vulgar keeps on incorporating more so into recent uploads. There is a good comment in the comments section that pretty much sums up my exact thoughts. Recommending this one here as well.

@brokenhal0 : “mooseknuckle attractor” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=99122 – 04-27-2014

“paranoid thoughts sober me is higher spirits
answer cleric ghb jams a stick to jacobs ladder
muscle relaxer mooseknuckle attractor raised with shuttles
in pasture outer plain beings who's humor wasn't nothing of laughter”

Short review: An excellent collection lines in a train of thought style. There is an emphasis on the rhyming and tangential thought. One line kind of leads into the next in a warped style, you can see how the writer is thinking and drawing connections between the different seemingly unconnected phrases. It is what makes it so interesting and such good writing despite the lack of sentence structure or anything like that. In fact the lack of sentence structure only adds to the enjoyability, it gives the writing a rawer quality.

@blueflamez : “FULL METAL JACKET!! NEW BEAT” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=99636 - 10-09-2014

“What's war wIthout a full metal jacket holla front.”

Short review: If you follow the hyperlink on that page to the soundclick.com you can hear blueflamez instrumental upload. It was quite good, but became repetitive for my own tastes. It could be improved with some more varied instruments or samples. The tune was very good though, nice and catchy, and the music established an atmosphere.

@sraL : "The Miracle Cure To End All Your Problems!" http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=96264 - 09-23-2014

“Is your wife on your back at you coming in late
‘cause she’s tired of you gambling the rent money away?
Had a drunken mistake with that chick at the bar
and now you’re worried she’ll say what a dick that you are?”

Short review: This was a great response to a dark image with a satirical piece of writing. This is personally one of my favorite ways of looking at things. Satire is probably one of the best forms of humour when it is done well. Here, there was a noticeable shift in the writing after the picture halfway through. The start really captured the tone of an advertisement and the second half was so different because the context required a different tone. You delivered here very well. Good mastery of language and tone to manipulate your audience. A strong recommendation to all avid readers.

Additional Section: Randomized Archive


http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=28526

The randomized archive brings us this great thematic effort. The use of I + I’ve + I’m was a genius touch to get around the characterisation of an inhuman object. The technique is called personification in poetry. It was very well done here. A master class in personification!


Ending comment/Overall review.

I will attempt to complete the November review as well, but definitely not the December review. Most probably regular monthly reviews will begin again from January onwards. There haven’t been as many new members establishing themselves here. Unborn Buddha and the Muzzl3 are about it. So recommend the website to others if you want to increase activity. Also, it’s great to see more audio submissions, I praise the members like Kin, Certain and Dove Dozer for sharing, and encourage more of the same from others. All the best.
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Old 11-13-2014, 11:04 PM   #2
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Great, thank you.
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Old 11-14-2014, 07:12 AM   #3
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You're a good man, zygote.
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Old 11-14-2014, 07:37 AM   #4
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much respect bruh


glad you're reading
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Old 11-14-2014, 08:22 AM   #5
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Where is septembers mag?

Did my shit get snubbed again!??!
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Old 11-14-2014, 08:26 AM   #6
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Oh i think my 2 recent pieces were the end of august....an i read that 1 i think





U NIGGAS HATIN
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Old 11-15-2014, 02:11 AM   #7
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Lovely review. An endeavor worthy of considerable praise.
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Old 11-16-2014, 10:51 PM   #8
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thank you for the review.

Rep'd.
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Old 11-17-2014, 01:43 AM   #9
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This was great.

Lmao @ an ode to Spit...awesome.
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