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Old 10-01-2018, 09:44 PM   #1
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Default WEEK III MAG: GUNBAR GUNBAR GUNBAR......haikus!!

NWL WEEK III MAG

Intro video





WEEK III BATTLE PREVIEWS
BY: Innovator



Victor vs John Dillinger

We got a good match here folks don’t sleep. John Dillinger is riding a hot hand winning his first 2 matches of the season, one by no show but hey a win is win. Victor battles week one and took out uh oh in a traditional topical match. THIS IS GUNBAR HAIKU WEEK DOE! Srsly both are not known for topicals much less poetry but both signed up so here we go. As far this battle goes. Vic participated in the LPGA a few years back and is actually a good poetry writer. He’s got the basics down and should make for an interesting read. JD is new to topicals and poetry so we shall see what he brings to the table. Though this week favors both of these kids as this is FUCKING GUNBAR HAIKU WEEK how many fucking times I gotta say it? Anyway this lends in to both of there styles and it should be a an easy week for both as far as posting quality, Dam a format. I’m going with Vic because I’ve seen what he can do with a poem. GL JD. 60/40


Score vs Bleak

Another match up of battle cats, I’m digging the transfers lol. Score has been lighting up niggas on the board and has amassed a good rep as a battler. He’s an alias everyone is trying to figure out but that doesn’t matter, the fago can write. Let’s see if he can translate his recent successes into this part of the site. Bleak is an enigma. He writes topicals and is decent with the storytelling. A good battler who was on the way up but seems to have lost a bit of steam, maybe interest. Either way this week should be a breeze for both and I expect some dope shit from both. Haven’t read much from score other than his battles and I don’t think he writes topicals, this or any other alias he has. Bleak I feel like he hasn’t tried and I’m hoping this weeks theme lights a fire under his ass. For this battle ama go with bleak as he’s showcased he has experience in this realm. Although this week score could take it due to the format, GUNBAR HAIKU MOTHERFUCKER!! I got Bleak though 60/40


Sharp vs Knucklehead

I’m vury much looking forward to this match up. Knucklehead is coming off a no show with blue which sucks but I’m vury certain he will show this week AS THIS IS FUCCKIMG IDEA!!!! But yo sharp is coming in fresh from the sidelines an is eager to participate in this weeks format. An again another match up of 2 battlers here. I’m starting to sense a theme here. Anyway sharp is no slouch a member of the 50 wins club young saucy is looking to destroy knucklehead and vice versa. This ones a tough to call for me as Knuck is dope and so is sharp and they my friends. But I gotta chose one so ama go with sharp simply becuase he showcase a lot of enthusiasm for this week and is poised to spit some godam GUNBAR HAIKUS ALL OF OVER KNUCKS FACE. Should be a dope battle looking forward to it fellas. Sharp 60/40


Pancakebrah vs Innovator

Ok so I’m going up against one of the better writers of this here site we call NETCEES. He’s a proven opponent who always puts down outstanding work. My only saving grace is that I’ve never seen him write poetry on the site, although his style of writing leans to a poetic one. BUT THIS IS MY REALM CAKE IVE BEEN WRITING POETRY FOR 15+ YEARS AND IF YOU THINK IM JUST GONNA LET YOU TAKE ME DOWN LIKE A DRUNK GIRL AT A FRAT PARTY YOU GOT ANOTHER THING COMING!!! Srsly though I’m looking forward to chopping it up with cake in this new format, I’m sure he will bring his A game and so will I. honestly I haven’t written a poem in a year or so, rust will play a factor. It’s a toss up for me I see my self winning but I also see cake winning, we shall see. Good luck cakes. 50/50


adonis vs Lucipher Howlz

Ok so this battle came after I set up the week. Luci signed out as he’s probably scared to write poetry. Adonis came out of the shadows and signed back in to the league after ghosting the site for 2 years. I’m guessing Luci and adonis know each other from some other website becuase adonis called out Luci and he accepted. Only thing is adonis thought he was getting a GUNBAR HAIKU BATTLE BUT HE THOUGHT WRONG NIYAH! But yo adonis has always been a dope writer and I’m hoping that doesn’t hinder him from making a stellar compact into this realm. Luci in the other hand is up an coming and again is poised to take out another NC vet, hopefully without a no show. It should be a dope battle as it’s the only traditional topical battle this week. I’m looking forward to this match it should be a good one. Adonis has been gone for a while and though he’s dope we shall see what he brings to the table after this long hiatus. Solely based off consistency I’m going With luck on this one. 60/40


NO SHOW LOVE

Pancakebrah’ Week II:

Quote:
Originally Posted by PancakeBrah View Post
Science Fiction



Now, I can't describe it. Not one person could do it justice.
Even in photo, the hue's corrupted. And any crude adjustment
in post production, well, that's abuse. A ghoulish subject not worth discussion. With what brush could you touch it up with?
This is...a post cubist structure
with a most loose construction. More a feeling than sight. Penumbra sunset
at close. Such it was to behold. By the Life Cosmic, I was awestruck as you.
Jackson Pollock in oxygen blue. In a vacuum the comets rocket into
another to the sound of a sonnet, sonically mute. As millenia leapt
in a minute, a breath, I fought back tears and tasted the nectar of sweat
and felt such a depth to regret. Jealous of each moment passing to next,
that I was was wasting time even collecting myself.

See, I've felt their concrete. All their mundanity drains,
bone on bone. To the point that inanity claims are my welcome reprieve
to a repetitive streak set to a clock to their sedative sleep.
I'd rather these never could be's,
in the lapping ocean of firsthand moonlight, to their more "sensible things."
This is not...this is not what separates me,
or elevates. These ideas aren't mine; they call it a trick.
I just speak for everyone who's not agnostic to it

Then, it's just beauty hung in a void. My scene for recital,
complete with applause; that silent, thunderous noise.
I'm knee deep in revival, from what I've seen from the Belt
I saw my Venus de Milo in Venus itself
firsthand. Trying to collect myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diablo View Post
This had its flashes of brilliance scattered throughout, I like your writing Pan. It reminded me of Certain quite a lot (rest in peace). The opening four lines are pretty bonkers but penumbra sunset is fire. You must have known that when you came up with it. Craziness. Pollock in oxygen blue was fire too. Real deadman-esque visual quality to it. I fucks with it heavy. Nectar of sweat also. The Venus de Milo was a masterstroke as well, shame he no showed it. It would have made for a good war of words this week.

Keep that pen moving!
Quote:
ok so basically for me you describe the picture in a very abstract yet poised manner. Taking bits an pieces from the picture and almost expanding on each point you chose to take. I said early you have a very poetic style and this piece gives my statement some truth. I very much Enjoyed your diction as it served to expand the imagery of the image if that makes sense. I thought it was clever that you waited to the end to write about the figure in the picture. Almost as if she’s The one writing this description. This was solid work cake enjoyed every line.

Innovator week II:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Innovator View Post
Cold sweats sprinkle the bedsheets cooling the heat smoldering
I stay up many nights with the stars gazing at the skies wondering.
Should I have taken another path? The questions never seize
As though they search for the the answers in a tumbling sea.
Call it a hunch, but I was meant for something other than this.
I was meant to change the world and hold it tight within my grip.
Climbing the highest mountains leaping bounds above the crowds
Soaring with the gods, conversing with the angels in the clouds.
My will would bending time to my fancy, manipulating pendulums
Until the days became my playground, the hours would be my sanctum.
Woman at my feet, building wealth and popularity at my whim
Power in absolute, men would where to follow me to the grips of all grim.
My dreams would be my reality, but that was in the age of my youth
A wide eyed kid with the world at his feet moving mountains as a brute.
This was my truth and I was meant to seek it out with no reserve.
I knew my destiny and destiny knew this to, but such is a funny thing
To think I was destined To keep the path i created in my youth.

But life never pans out the way you plan it, always forks in the road.
Eating away dreams until the plate is cleaned and the crumbs become cold.
Or so it seems to most. See destiny is what you make of it I was told.
No woman st my feet to gravel, but daughters who seek a guardian
No men follow me, only a son to teach and mold into the best parts of me.
Though I’m still moving mountains, it’s no longer for selfish reason
I no longer Chase those lights becuase I’ve become my own beacon.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cereal
Cold sweats sprinkle the bedsheets cooling the heat smoldering
I stay up many nights with the stars gazing at the skies wondering.

a sort of touch and go word use, to place the reader in a positioned situation still comfortable, but the use of the words def gave off - that you, as the writer was in control and moving the reader about.. without it appearing to be moving the writer about, which was tight

Should I have taken another path? The questions never seize
As though they search for the the answers in a tumbling sea.

good follow through by making the statement an actual statement, then using description to hold the reader..

Call it a hunch, but I was meant for something other than this.
I was meant to change the world and hold it tight within my grip.

my character voice is def loud, love it - the word hunch stuck out as to maintain your writers voice


Climbing the highest mountains leaping bounds above the crowds
Soaring with the gods, conversing with the angels in the clouds.

poetic, tight

My will would bending time to my fancy, manipulating pendulums
Until the days became my playground, the hours would be my sanctum.

very colorful

Woman at my feet, building wealth and popularity at my whim
Power in absolute, men would where to follow me to the grips of all grim.

back story nice

My dreams would be my reality, but that was in the age of my youth
A wide eyed kid with the world at his feet moving mountains as a brute.

delicate for the reader, very nice

This was my truth and I was meant to seek it out with no reserve.
I knew my destiny and destiny knew this to, but such is a funny thing

no reserve fav line so far, writers voice is hot in this and characters vocab top notch

To think I was destined To keep the path i created in my youth.

But life never pans out the way you plan it, always forks in the road.
Eating away dreams until the plate is cleaned and the crumbs become cold.

you can mentally see the steps you are painting in this

Or so it seems to most. See destiny is what you make of it I was told.
No woman st my feet to gravel, but daughters who seek a guardian

good shuffling.. every day hustling lol


No men follow me, only a son to teach and mold into the best parts of me.
Though I’m still moving mountains, it’s no longer for selfish reason
I no longer Chase those lights becuase I’ve become my own beacon.

dope finisher, good moral told/held tale.. thanks for that..
peace


Lucipher Howlz Week II:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucipher Howlz View Post
I swore to god this would be my final trip-
Realizing that it's time to quit, let my mind forget-
The crimes I did that turned my life to shit, fine thats it!-
Then I hear the siren hit & all I think of is my crying kid-
My decision is intertwined & split, pull over or do I try to dip-
If I get caught I know that i'll get stuck with life-
Buckled tight, but dont want to stick out like a lightning bolt at night-
Grippin' the steering wheel so tight it makes my knuckles white-
I put my blinker on as my forehead develops beads of sweat-
As I get a sense of deep regret & a Deputy who seek's respect-
I can barely hear him as my heart just beats my chest-
License or gun? So what should I reach for next-
Last thing I need is stress, Wanna do more but need to keep it less-
So I'm cooperative, hand him my information without obnoxiousness-
Walks back to his car as the pit of my stomach feels bottomless-
If I get searched my one & only son could become fatherless-
My tolerance is bothering, should I go full speed ahead like sonics rings-
I'm wallowing in my plotless binge, my mind isn't following but I got this thing!-
I know that I'm hard but my record will be showing my scars-
Busted for Xanax a while back was actually lowering my bar-
Just like heroin was dope and now my fentanyl is going too far!-
Then I hear "Excuse me sir but can you step outta the car"-
I oblige while he searches me, Trying to keep it calm purposely-
Cus everything is in the door panels as I shake nervously-
"Can I take a look inside do you consent to a search?"-
I said" I'm in a rush" like the momentum's reversed"
He replied "I'm calling the K-9" like his torment was rehearsed-
He said "You can talk now" but I know that an informants the worst-
I knew rite there that the length I went with this the measure was tragic-
Then I hear the screeching of tires as the officer gets dis membered in traffic-
Fate was just reaping it's havoc- basically keeping it savage-
I thought I exhausted all possibilities then I remembered I haven't!-

Quote:
this was a dope read tbh. First and foremost the rhyming was Sam near flawless with a crisp flow and inner rhymes to keep the reader interested. You had a laxed diction which lent itself to the vibe of the piece very easily. I dug the imagery you put together as the the story progressed. You kept building the suspense towards the middle and had me hooked. I was looking forward to the ending twist. Once I got there though I thought you let off the gas a bit and went with an unexpected ending that TO ME didn’t really gel with the story. Would of loved for you to expand on your characters prior crimes to set the mood a bit deeper. But the topic was a hard one to twist so I give you props for that. You definitely showed off your writing sklll in this one and it’s put you on lars’ radar so that’s a good thing lol. Enjoyed the read and thank you for posting



OUTRO

Ok folks that’s it for now. I was going to review last week but I figured the no show love would be enough. Plus last week was a bust so I’m not wasting no more time on it lol. Thanks to those who showed and look forward to next weeks mag as I’ll be adding a bit more content with POWER RANKINGS and a possible interview if I can get some one to record With me. Enjoy the mag and dont be grammar nazis as I’m sure this is riddled with them like Jews at a bagel shop. Thanks guys and enjoy GUNBAR HAIKU WEEK!!!! I’m out- Inno


@Sharp @Knucklehead @PancakeBrah @John Dillinger @bleak @Score @Diablo @Victor @Lucipher Howlz @Witty @Cereal @Adonis

Last edited by Innovator; 10-03-2018 at 12:49 AM.
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Old 10-01-2018, 11:45 PM   #2
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fuck yeah @Innovator much appreciated for doing this. This week 3 wasn't my type of style but I will def be in for next week. I didn't have time to vote on the battles from last week and thats on me. If I could I would have voted tonight but I know theres a limit and it seems like the battles are closed. My bad but can I still drop feed? Or is it closed for good?
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Old 10-01-2018, 11:50 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucipher Howlz View Post
fuck yeah @Innovator much appreciated for doing this. This week 3 wasn't my type of style but I will def be in for next week. I didn't have time to vote on the battles from last week and thats on me. If I could I would have voted tonight but I know theres a limit and it seems like the battles are closed. My bad but can I still drop feed? Or is it closed for good?
If you can drop some feed on the no shows last week. Send them to me through PM and I will add them to the mag tomorrow
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Old 10-02-2018, 12:54 AM   #4
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Appreciate the dedication.

I'll send some feed on your verse sometime tomorrow for the text portion of the mag.
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Old 10-02-2018, 01:02 AM   #5
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Quote:
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Appreciate the dedication.

I'll send some feed on your verse sometime tomorrow for the text portion of the mag.
Thanks man always appreciate your support
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Old 10-02-2018, 02:30 AM   #6
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Swag & Flow should be dope
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Old 10-02-2018, 04:30 PM   #7
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pretty sure he said SNF week was coming at some point in the season
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Old 10-02-2018, 04:33 PM   #8
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Word I think he said Week 4 in the vid
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Old 10-02-2018, 04:39 PM   #9
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Lol I hadn’t watched that far in when I posted tbh
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Old 10-02-2018, 04:50 PM   #10
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I DID IT!!

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Old 10-03-2018, 06:53 AM   #11
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Dope
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Old 10-03-2018, 09:32 AM   #12
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Good shit

Though what I appreciate the most is that every preview had an all caps moment
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Old 10-03-2018, 11:53 AM   #13
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That Pan verse was fire Im just not the best at critiquing these but he did that pic justice

Dope previews, this week has some good mathcups
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Old 10-07-2018, 03:34 PM   #14
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dope vid man keep it up
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