The King

[Objective]

It reads like a poem in a playful way to me. You got AAABAAAB-set ups that makes its impact in terms of the latter in a interesting way. Your use of metaphors and similies sometimes goes overboard for me as it's hard to grasp what's really going on at times. After a couple reads I'm starting to see the pattern a bit clearer tho and it grows on me as a poetry-piece. I understand it all as you trying to visualize the burden of the crown and the motions of it all, and what he gotta go through in an abstract way which is dope, but I don't really get where you're bringing it towards the end. Who does who meet when who grows up?

Overall I enjoyed the read despite the fact that it could get a little bit confusing at times but interesting and dope in its own way nonetheless. Keep writing/dropping!

[Diablo]

Originally Posted by Objective

It reads like a poem in a playful way to me. You got AAABAAAB-set ups that makes its impact in terms of the latter in a interesting way. Your use of metaphors and similies sometimes goes overboard for me as it's hard to grasp what's really going on at times. After a couple reads I'm starting to see the pattern a bit clearer tho and it grows on me as a poetry-piece. I understand it all as you trying to visualize the burden of the crown and the motions of it all, and what he gotta go through in an abstract way which is dope, but I don't really get where you're bringing it towards the end. Who does who meet when who grows up?

Overall I enjoyed the read despite the fact that it could get a little bit confusing at times but interesting and dope in its own way nonetheless. Keep writing/dropping!

grows on me as a poetry @Pharaohs Army

[Objective]

Originally Posted by Diablo

grows on me as a poetry @Pharaohs Army

What did I do?