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Old 01-02-2017, 12:47 PM   #1
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Default Week 3: Maximus vs. Sammy [Sammy 5-3]



Season 7

Verses are due Thursday 1/5 at 11:59 PST. EXT 1/6 11:59 PST

Voting ends Sunday 1/8 at 11:59 PST

Verses may not exceed 48 lines

Voting on 3 battles is required. If you win and don't vote the requirement you will not receive a victory. If you lose and don't vote the requirement, you will receive a one-week suspension.


Topic: The Road to...


@Maximus @Sammy
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Last edited by Adonis; 01-09-2017 at 06:15 PM.
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Old 01-02-2017, 04:43 PM   #2
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Old 01-02-2017, 05:04 PM   #3
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Old 01-06-2017, 08:53 AM   #4
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The road to perdition is broad; the road to heaven is narrow
Let your moral compass give you directions like arrows
Relentlessly move along despite the menacing perils
On the road there are mirages like a desert that’s sterile

Im on the road to revolution as i empty my barrels
Licking shots at the oppressors, the despots and pharaohs
Who siphon our treasury and embezzle dinero
Cursing beggars on the roadside with threadbare apparels

The road to perfection is a long stretch into infinity
Got blistered feet but as time ebbs im better lyrically
My drive is steady, sturdy and rugged, never rickety
With a low centre of gravity, balanced like symmetry

The road to success isn’t smooth but obstacle-laden
Stumbling blocks on the pavement, the odds aren’t bracelets
They’re manacles but with a firm resolve you can break em
On the road i keep my rhythm, nothing’s stopping my cadence

Last edited by Maximus; 01-06-2017 at 09:04 AM.
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Old 01-06-2017, 12:45 PM   #5
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have u ever walk miles with no prints to show for?
each steps, each strut, head forward....but never closer?
convinced it's within reach. Horse and carrot. Get it.
go for it! boots in sands as quick as the days wane
especially at a frail age.
Time is of the essence,
u start to smell the incense; hear prayer chants
all the world's a stage; its a struggle just to change face
chasing a mirage. chasing the comfort. chasing the shades.
heat strokes. calories burned while escaping early stages
Before u know it, the pearly gates approaches. Its too early, ay?
but the mirage is of a different place.
cinder plates placating the airy winter state
steps dictated by fate's mechanism
quick pace. u want to hop off but main option's rescinded
so u walk the road to nowhere until the coffin is lifted..
And placed into a bottomless pity
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Old 01-07-2017, 03:04 PM   #6
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im gonig with the first verse i enjoyed the effort from the second verse but i liked how the first guy stuck to the topic i also didnt like a bit of the flow in the second verse it felt like delivery maybe dont know but hte flow was a bit allover the place.... i liked the idea of the verse but it just was too hard to understand i was confused was life getting shorter or longer and i was confused with the ending as well the flow again was off i didnt see the rhyme dont know i struggled with this verse it was alright im not going to completely throw it like out or anything but it was like is the road getting longer or shorter you get me one a those thinner/larger kinda shit....... i admit it was a solid effort but the first verse really shone for me i liked it was much more impactful then this idea of a road dont know they were both nice actually i dont want to pull too much from either but now i know why i like the first verse more because of the use of repitition and structure..... i liked how four lines were dedication to each section and the first line always started the same...... that was cool......the second verse lacked this there was barely any creativity to it if you get me..... obviously the first dude thought about the verse and how to use repitition to his advantage..... yeah anyways so yeah.......



vote: first dude (Maxipad)
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Old 01-07-2017, 06:14 PM   #7
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Maximus, I liked the steady pace to this, and incorporating the topic into a mantra was used effectively. Your consistency with strict end rhymes made this read fairly sound technically. "The odds aren't bracelets" line was a bit off syllablically speaking if I were to be nitpicky. Not worth mentioning in a longer verse but with both parties submitting short verses I'll point it out. Kept it fairly simple content wise. The mantra kept you on topic, you outlined 4 interpretations on them, and although there was no massive depth, you took a safe and effective approach.

Sammy, disliked how you switched schemes at on an odd rhyme at the intro but I loved the concept you opened with. The cinder plates line was fire. Ending was.... lackluster to me to be honest. Is pity what you were going for? Pit? You had some strong word choices which amplified the imagery. Your mechanics in general were stronger but you had hiccups in the flow. Lots of ups and downs in this one but an interesting choice nonetheless.


Difficult decision here. Max with the safe play, no notable highs, just consistent. Sammy had a bit more depth, stronger mechanics, but also had 2 notable misses. His cinder plates line was my favorite in the battle. It's a really tough call but I am leaning towards Sammy by a cunt hair as his verse left a deeper impression with me. Could go either way.

+1 Sammy
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Old 01-07-2017, 09:43 PM   #8
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first dude (Maxipad)-


First two opening lines play on the Master Teacher's (Jesus of Nazareth) words, "Broad is the gate to destruction and narrow is the path to life". Following this opening, the verse continues its setup: follow the spirit through trials and tribulations to the end, see it through. Though you say it as "Moral compass" and "menacing perils"

You are on an revolutionary minded walk, and with the 2nd paragraph engage in a class struggle between oppressor and oppressed (Something equally Jesus of Nazareth was engaged in; however not with carnal weapons)...

The 3rd and 4th tapper out and to me hold no continuity to the first 2 paragraphs, both saying pretty much the same thing, and both forgetting the juicy 2nd paragraph and its established conflict between the oppressor and oppressed.

I like the spirit of this piece and the parallels of Justice, the parallels to Jesus. But felt much to be desired considering the nice 2 paragraphs, their qualities that moved the piece along.


second dude (Sammypad)

I really loved the tone and energy of this

have u ever walk miles with no prints to show for?
each steps, each strut, head forward....but never closer?
convinced it's within reach. Horse and carrot. Get it.
go for it! boots in sands as quick as the days wane
especially at a frail age.
Time is of the essence,


I like the questions asked and the context asked in. Liked the sort of a sense of urgency here.

u start to smell the incense; hear prayer chants
all the world's a stage; its a struggle just to change face
chasing a mirage. chasing the comfort. chasing the shades.
heat strokes. calories burned while escaping early stages
Before u know it, the pearly gates approaches. Its too early, ay?


Something i do to much you did here...being too vague. Lacking time, place, where, how, who, when and context to real world.

What is this "the mirage"? I ask this and want to know especially because the opening was so ripe to hash it out.



vote- second dude (sammypad)
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Old 01-07-2017, 10:40 PM   #9
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This is a tough battle to judge...

Maximus verse was good..... 4 roads representing 4 things... it was cool... but the end point wasn;t realized... the fow was good and the vocab

I liked Sammys piece even tho it appeared the flow was off in places... I like the questions that were being asked...

This shit is mad tight, because Max playec his part well.... but sooo did Sammy...

I like how Sammy showed the road to nowhereeven though it was vague... But sooo was max's..

Ahhhh... Well i gotta pick someone here... and im gonna lean towards Sammy as his verse interested me a lil bit more... But shit is mad close...

Vote - Sammy
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Old 01-08-2017, 01:41 PM   #10
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3-1 Sammy up
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Old 01-08-2017, 02:11 PM   #11
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Sammy, this verse has high potential, but it's just not fleshed out. It's really an out line or premise to what should be a solid verse with better mechanics. Flashes of good, far under developed.

Max cadence indeed. This read more flex pace then topical, which is a nice change up. I enjoyed it greatly. Your verse was fleshed out in terms of mechanics far cleaner then counter part.

V. Maximus

Stronger grasp of mechanics, easier on the eyes
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Old 01-08-2017, 06:31 PM   #12
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MVGT Max

I liked both verses, but imo Max edged it with mechanics and structure. Sammy had a more thought-provoking take on the subject, but the messy presentation and rhyming took away from the overall read as a poetic piece. Max's roads were borderline redundant in the way each stanza started, but I like the content that followed and how each road boasted different characteristics. Great job.
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Old 01-08-2017, 08:23 PM   #13
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Cool battle. I enjoyed Maximus verse more than Sammy's.

The second segment was my favorite, and I liked the 4 roads idea you went with. I feel like it was just a better verse over all, including how much I personally enjoyed it, mechanics, flow, etc..

Reading Sammy's opening lines, I thought it would be followed by a very solid verse with a fresh spin on the topic but I was kind of let down. The verse was decent, but I feel like you could brush up on your mechanics a bit. I look forward to reading more of your stuff

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Old 01-09-2017, 01:46 AM   #14
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Max shoulda but a the before pharoahs for flow. And turn treasury to treasure. Other hen that those first two stanzas were dope af. Some bits on conquering obstacles at the end there, nice work.

Sammy that bottomless pity at the end just threw me through a loop are we having a pity party now? I have no idea. Cool examination of our mortality, the mudaneneas of the rat race. Humanity. Nice material.

Mvgt maximus had a little bit more here, my only helpful advice is to avoid stanza breaks unless theyre for emphasis im the storyline. Gg
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