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Old 08-26-2013, 08:22 AM   #1
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Default WK 6 - PancakeBrah v Defy Gravity - PB WINS

Memo week 6.
Greetings competitors, we arrive at a personal favorite. IMITATION WEEK, you are required to attempt an imitation or homage or mimicry or satire or otherwise of your opponent’s writing style. To assist you in your task, there will be 2 links provided with every contest. Please note, the minimum requirement is an imitation of your opponent’s writing style, you are not required to imitate the content of the relevant hyperlink provided along with your contest. You can if you want to, but ultimately that’s your decision. Find below your match-ups and specific task.

15 v 41. PancakeBrah v Defy Gravity. TASK: IMITATION – (for your assistance: http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=5865 v http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=11390 )

Verses Due - Wednesday 23:59 PST
Voting Period Ends - Sunday 23:59 PST

Good Luck @PancakeBrah @Defy Gravity
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Old 08-26-2013, 10:34 AM   #2
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Fucjdjwospcorooeoooopperpeoedfikkencnnrnw

Note: I don't bold or center my verses or any bullshit like that. Keep that in mind when you imitate that gawd.

Check
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Old 08-26-2013, 07:49 PM   #3
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in....
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Originally Posted by zygote View Post
Hopefully without offending anybody, Defy Gravity has created the most impressive initial submission from a new user to join the competition. Outperformed his opponent in terms of rhyme scheme
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:49 PM   #4
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Scouting Report:
Odd formatting of verse.
Enjoys using adjective+noun double word multies
Standard rhyme scheme; end of line, sparing use of internal rhymes.
Rarely goes on long rhyme runs.
Dark/Macabre subject matter; "suicidal"
Enjoys brash imagery.
Longer length of lines.


Serrated Tyrant (I'm so fucking Deep)

My veins suffocate a navy color, they run down my wrist with a babbling sound
The azure blue reminds me of some deep ocean where I could haphazardly drown
I'm my own king and with my body I can do acts so senselessly cruel
Like erudite tongue laps around the razor marks; I'm in a sensational mood
This razor shines crimson white against the candles and lamp dimly lit
Next to this Puerto Rican whore, asleep and disappointed after I finished limp
I came on her face while masturbating with Spinach dip, the nasty explosion
Made me feel so alive that I had to killed my sperm too, that useless passive expulsion
There's no rush like extermination mixed with auto-erotic asphyxiation/
Because then I can't waste your time with text based on my phonic limitations/
My depression precedes another night of impotence and sex boots/
I love my imagery,
but fuck these crestfallen dolphins spouting purple rain from their blowholes of death juice/
Diamond bejeweled coma, I want to played Bejeweled with your devilish devil
I am the positive electron, ready to receive the serrated blade's negative metal
while I drift off pumping the volume to 11 on my sedative's level
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Old 08-29-2013, 01:28 AM   #5
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Pancakebrah & Vulgar Collabo

YouTube with some writing colleges watching UFO sighting eating arby's
The coleslaw dish was slimily, but the protein jump started me like car keys
What would you do during an invasion in our proximity?
Bitch I would.... (The rest was edited out for lack of positivity)PB
Instead of cooperating I challenged all my teammates
Other writers make my eyes roll with envy like green skates
You're beneath me and I must single you out or something similar
Seemingly against the peace treaty as I brandish your accomplishments in my signature
I leave work, earning a meager wage to waste frivolous
The elements was poetry to me as I play along like you were filming this
Broken bottles littered the sidewalk while my atrocious presence...
Withered like open novels caught in rain accumulation feeling closer to heaven
I prance the pavement watching each drop claim a home traitorous
The concrete's odor was rancid, as rain tame my mobile measurements
I occupied my day with sci-fi journals and a questionable bagel
The food contents ostracized my nerves while my intestinal track was the prelude
I made it home, sans an umbrella or dry clothes
My stomach pains egging me on as I collapsed to my bed eyes close
4 in da morning clock radio storming of a large crowd
Congress dispersed National Guard, riots broke, and the glass smashed was so loud
News flash spoke so foul, a meteor clashed with something in our orbit
If I’m seeing right, it was burning rather awful afterwards it crashed into our water
The object unidentified as the warm rag cause a blur to my gentle eyes
The vessel open wide like a birth canal, the newscaster’s outburst was wild
Just the night previous, I viewed Species so I might be dreaming
Of space demons with tentacles that flair about like tassels on a ten speed
Indeed my nerves further intense as the news camera inched in for a first glimpse
By commercial break my clothes was drenched like the spin cycle shifted into rinse
Vulgar verse
ET eats water buffalos at subway watching Seinfeld episodes
While Everclear intimidate every queer as whitey ford discharge squib loads
And propaganda poster of discount probing coupons
Made my pockets dismount and unload moldy crotons
I can only watch Elvis impersonators moonlight during Vegas acts
While Sigourney Weaver percolates to new heights as aliens savor a new snack
And the close encounter left its host hosting flowers
As Pringles only can devourer one Utz chip as lays noticeably cowards
But superman avoided all green Gatorade drinking bottles
While Melvin the Martian lit a stick of dynamite to make earth a negated problem
Leaving my signing bonuses blown like Nintendo cartages
With Gwenth Paltrows nose my sinuses was clogged with Aresenio Cartilage
Penning with invisible ink my ghost writes paranormal activities
When the vessel opened it was an ad for Hannibal lector’s homosapian kidney beans
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Hopefully without offending anybody, Defy Gravity has created the most impressive initial submission from a new user to join the competition. Outperformed his opponent in terms of rhyme scheme
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Old 08-30-2013, 07:10 AM   #6
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Old 08-31-2013, 10:11 AM   #7
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cool battle gentlemen

pancake - you took the approach of writing a verse as if you were defy. or at least your impression of who defy is. that was a really good way to tackle this assignment and it worked wonderfully. what you did before this battle took place was to create defy gravity into a character, dropping alot of posts about how he is some emo suicidal type of person. i have no idea if its true or not but you created a perception of that among voters that you were then able to take full advantage of. it was genius tbh.
ok on to the verse

My veins suffocate a navy color, they run down my wrist with a babbling sound
The azure blue reminds me of some deep ocean where I could haphazardly drown

that line is beautiful. the multi works perfectly and the imagery is incredible. i can picture someone staring at their wrist seeing the blue and comparing the color to the color of a deep ocean.

I'm my own king and with my body I can do acts so senselessly cruel
Like erudite tongue laps around the razor marks; I'm in a sensational mood

no idea what erudite means. but it sounds cool as fuck. and what a creative way to basically say this guy is a cutter and or just cut his own wrist

the rest were dope lines as well. you kept it dark and light hearted at the same time. using the Bejeweled line would seem ridiculous but it worked so well here. the asphyxiation line was right at home. you really created a vibe of someone that is emo depressed. almost like its trendy to be depressed in this persons mind. fantastic job fella


defy gravity - you decided to imitate a verse by vulgar imitating pancake. i like the concept tbh. reminds me of Robert Downey in Tropic Thunder. he is a real life white american actor, playing an Australian actor that is playing a black actor. i love that performance. and he plays the black guy like an australian white guy would. Here you imitated Pancakebrah, as Vulgar did. you imitated vulgar imitating pancake. my head is spinning and i like it. you also directly mocked cake quite a bit. which i thought was appropriate based on your guys recent interactions. to the verse

it was a long verse. you had alot of gems in there.

What would you do during an invasion in our proximity?
Bitch I would.... (The rest was edited out for lack of positivity)PB

referencing him editing posts in the positivity thread. you have been paying attention i see. good line

You're beneath me and I must single you out or something similar
Seemingly against the peace treaty as I brandish your accomplishments in my signature

lmao. that line is gold. used it against him. see you didnt need to create a character of pancake, you used real stuff. because to be frank he is quite a character so you had lots of ammo on a persona to mimic.

ill be honest im a bit confused, because what i have posted so far looks alot like an imitation of pancakes style i guess. its certainly not vulgars style. but then you write vulgars verse which is the start of the pancake imitation in that piece. so im a little lost as to what the first half was. and tbh i didnt really like that whole section. you would have been better off without it. u weaved some good celebrity references in there. but it while it was creative it didnt wow me.

good battle guys. i enjoyed it. pancake dropped what i see as close to a perfect verse content and structure wise. it was short but not in a bad way.

defy did a good job here. he had a good verse that could have been better if he edited out some lines. i enjoyed his verse though. didnt have the flow or structure of cakes though. he was on the right track but lacked the consistency of brah

this was closer than it seemed but cake gets my vote

vote - Pancakebrah
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Old 08-31-2013, 10:44 AM   #8
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Wow Cake vs a wall of text...
So Cake dropped an emo piece with some nice bars full of all the shit he usually brings.
I guess he was imitating coz I think he prefers a much shorter bar structure than he delivered here. His drop was probably small here, and especially considered with the size of Defy's, I don't like comparing pieces when they are so differently lengthed, but I think Cake stuffed a lot into his small one.
So Defy was imitating Cake imitating Vulgar, this is quite creative and that what this league is all about, but this is where it gets confusing. Coz I don't think he did a good enough job at Vulgar, but perhaps he means that Cake didn't do a good job and hes imitating a bad job of imitating Vulgar, but in that way its a good job of imitating Cake.
Arghhh..

So I enjoyed Cakes verse more, and I have a bias for shorter pieces, I guess I don't like reading walls. so vote Cake.

Last edited by Plot; 08-31-2013 at 10:47 AM.
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Old 09-01-2013, 07:20 AM   #9
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PancakeBrah: This was a pretty dead-on immitation of the two verses I've read by Defy Gravity, as far as writing style. I liked the idea of turning it into a metanarrative about the style you're writing in. This couplet was great:

Quote:
There's no rush like extermination mixed with auto-erotic asphyxiation/
Because then I can't waste your time with text based on my phonic limitations/
This verse was mostly just mean, but I appreciated that this was the week, if any, to go that route. Some things seemed out of place, like the Bejeweled line which seemed to break character and into a Zombie imitation. But it was good.

Defy Gravity: This would have been a lot better without the "Vulgar" section. Not only was your Vulgar impression weak, but also it didn't make any sense to include for this challenge. The edit line obviously was the biggest standout, but I couldn't help but get the feeling that this was a verse about PancakeBrah rather than an imitation of his writing style. Maybe that's because you were channeling him through Vulgar, which was a strange decision. Not writing about girls or drunkenness or nostalgia was probably a mistake, though, because he almost always writes about girls or drunkenness or nostalgia. Still, I thought if you cut the Vulgar verse (your references were really thin and unlike Vulgar's) and the rambling conspiracy theory back half of this one, you might have won this battle. The first 20 lines were strong, even if the word choice never quite matched what PancakeBrah's feel would be.

Vote: PancakeBrah
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Old 09-01-2013, 10:46 PM   #10
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cake.

I thought you did an excellent job with the challenge...you executed the subject to the T..you copied defy's style right down to the bold and centered...but about that...just my opinion...I thought it was pointless to do that to be honest as it didn't add to the story nor did make the style jump out at me...its simply preference, is it part of the actual style of his WRITING? dunno..might be part of his overall style and boarding habits...but not the actual writing..bleh just something I thought id point out. I liked this though... but at times it felt you where just taking shots at his style...but I guess mocking is also a form of imitation...a mean spirited one lol...good shit cake.


Defy.

your verse is tricky..this whole fucking week is tricky...you had cake and you chose you copy the style he was using for that collab..which is vulgars style..now cake was imitating vulgar...one voter said you did a good job with cakes part but bad with vulgars part...but to me that's just extra for me to read...I focused on the verse that pertained to cake...you seemed to capture the style he used nicely...I can tell you can adjust your writing to suit any style...dope ish forreal..


overall


tbh I have no clue who to vote for...cake solid as always but I thought he over did it with the bold and all that...plus the mocking sense this gives off makes me believe cake didn't really take this shit seriously and took the opportunity to take shots lol.

Quote:
There's no rush like extermination mixed with auto-erotic asphyxiation/
Because then I can't waste your time with text based on my phonic limitations/
lol^^

but then defy imitated cake imitating vulgar..and I thought he did a dam good job at it..so whats more impressive? cakes brilliant mockery or defy's effort? im not sure. on one hand I think defy did a dope job with the example he was givin..good battle but I gotta with defy.
I mean the guy imitated cake imitating vulgar...that's gotta be worth something..atleast one vote.


defy.
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