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Old 09-17-2018, 07:17 PM   #1
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Default John Dillinger vs dead man[JDWins]

NWL:Season I: Week I



Verses are due: FRIDAY at 11:59 PM EST

Voting ends: SUNDAY at 11:59 PM EST

Line Limit: Minimum:10 lines, Max: 30

Voting on 2 battles is required.



TOPIC:



@John Dillinger vs @dead man

Last edited by Inno; 09-24-2018 at 06:54 PM.
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Old 09-17-2018, 10:34 PM   #2
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Friday will be difficult but I'll try
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Old 09-21-2018, 09:36 PM   #3
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@dead man @John Dillinger will be showing do you need an extension?
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Old 09-22-2018, 01:48 AM   #4
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Yo let’s drop today my dumb ass passed out hard last night
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Old 09-22-2018, 03:37 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Innovator View Post
TOPIC:

Me & shawty took a tab the same color as the sky
& she’s the color of her coke lines, I told her let’s go ride
Ain’t smashed yet I’m tryna see how this hoe rides
I told her let’s dip before this kicks in & we both fly

We pulled up on some Cannondales isn’t that ironic?
My bloodstream gin & tonic, drank so much I wanna vomit
Mind racing like I’m Sonic, shorty said she seeing comets

Im just tryna fly & fuck that’s if I’m being honest...

But my strip ain’t kick in yet it’s prolly some bunk shit
My girl into girls I’m tryna see who we bunk with
I’d tell em to slide thru but we out in the boondocks
My girl got some thick legs complemented by toob socks
Michael Kors for the new watch, this bitch rollin moon rocks
She took off her new top she told me it’s too hot

Speaking of which, I swear this thot is too hot

Posted up in the cut and yea I got some pus around me
This music is nuts sounding, she so wet my nuts drowning
We’re about 50 miles from the nearest road
Looking back it’s like my tab kicked in a year ago
She pouring out her heart but I ain’t tryna hear it though

In my mind I’m like here we go

I’ll be done with this bitch in bout a week or so
I’m tryna enjoy this trip but I can feel it getting weaker though

So we smoked another blunt and looked out on the horizon
Looked straight into her eyes n’ they were red like she been cryin
Naw we just been flyin & now I feel like dyin

I should be on a gurney
Packed our shit up & prepped myself for the journey

Dropped her off & she told me I’m her main man
But I can’t even remember her name, damn

Last edited by John Dillinger; 09-22-2018 at 04:24 PM.
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Old 09-23-2018, 07:47 AM   #6
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Well that’s that

Open for feed I guess
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Old 09-23-2018, 05:24 PM   #7
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John the wording and story was simplistic and honestly i expected a twist ending or something out of left field to save the piece. The story is something out of a trashy romance novel. Some guy with some girl looking for sex..gives her pills then bam..his nuts are drowning..vivid imagery. I like it but it needed a twist or stronger lyrics to really grab the reader
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