Werd

Mr. J · 07-21-2013, 08:02 PM

I step into a garden, pardon the literature, mystery is upon me
History has got me parting ways with sanity, feeling immature...
like...nothing will touch me, actually..I'm starting to feel the cure
what...emasculated me to this emancipation, I'm relaxed and patient
took a sip of the passion fruit, one thing that I actually hated...
was where it stemmed from, where it came together and then some
twisted and bent up as though to die, darkness filled with no hope for life
you would see the glimmer gleam, hanging out front at center tree..
beckoned, a lesson comes from the reckoning it's like "Remember me"
the beauty alone is a cherished memory, then comes the first bite
the first time...and you start to savor the moment at the worst time
when you can't reverse time, set things right to plant another tree..
it hurts right..but n'er mind I always kept this thought up under me
if the planet is so motherly, why would she curse me with just one...
just one chance to do the right thing, I guess I'm just like she...
a bastard....bitch in her own right, and while she slept the whole night...
I took a ax to her, and chopped it down...

Mr. J · 07-25-2013, 03:38 PM

No doubt

Mr. J · 08-02-2013, 07:28 PM

hold tight

Geno · 08-02-2013, 09:47 PM

this is the former style of yours that drives me nuts in a bad way, cause i have to read over it a few times to find what you were doing with it. i mentioned in your other post how i like what your doing now. hopefully that post contains your new style and you will be using it more frequently than this one. just telling you some good shit -this style has been outgrown, the other is a better llook for you

up

Pakistani Hand Cannon · 08-05-2013, 10:20 AM

i though this was cool, but annoying...

the fact in you dont get what your saying initially works for & against this piece imo, like, (iunno if this gon make sense, i give a fuuuck) it took me a minute to understand what you was saying, i dont mind that, but i cant actually find a moral or message in this shit, which i wouldnt mind...but then im asking for what reason is the shit written all cryptic n shit...& its at that point tha shit just comes off pretentious...prolly like this feed is lmfao

but its like shit that usually requires deciphering, usually has something at the end that you deciphered it for...wdeva

there's also always the possibility i missed something, niggaz is only human n shit, but that could also double up as you didnt portray something well enough...iunno

never a hate thing, but take it how you want

#1 be easy

07-25-2013, 03:38 PM	#2
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,025 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349678	No doubt __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

08-02-2013, 07:28 PM	#3
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,025 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349678	hold tight __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

08-02-2013, 09:47 PM	#4
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,325 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	this is the former style of yours that drives me nuts in a bad way, cause i have to read over it a few times to find what you were doing with it. i mentioned in your other post how i like what your doing now. hopefully that post contains your new style and you will be using it more frequently than this one. just telling you some good shit -this style has been outgrown, the other is a better llook for you up __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

07-21-2013, 08:02 PM	#1
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,025 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349678	Werd I step into a garden, pardon the literature, mystery is upon me History has got me parting ways with sanity, feeling immature... like...nothing will touch me, actually..I'm starting to feel the cure what...emasculated me to this emancipation, I'm relaxed and patient took a sip of the passion fruit, one thing that I actually hated... was where it stemmed from, where it came together and then some twisted and bent up as though to die, darkness filled with no hope for life you would see the glimmer gleam, hanging out front at center tree.. beckoned, a lesson comes from the reckoning it's like "Remember me" the beauty alone is a cherished memory, then comes the first bite the first time...and you start to savor the moment at the worst time when you can't reverse time, set things right to plant another tree.. it hurts right..but n'er mind I always kept this thought up under me if the planet is so motherly, why would she curse me with just one... just one chance to do the right thing, I guess I'm just like she... a bastard....bitch in her own right, and while she slept the whole night... I took a ax to her, and chopped it down... __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

08-05-2013, 10:20 AM	#5
Pakistani Hand Cannon Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 1,212 Rep Power: 5303580	i though this was cool, but annoying... the fact in you dont get what your saying initially works for & against this piece imo, like, (iunno if this gon make sense, i give a fuuuck) it took me a minute to understand what you was saying, i dont mind that, but i cant actually find a moral or message in this shit, which i wouldnt mind...but then im asking for what reason is the shit written all cryptic n shit...& its at that point tha shit just comes off pretentious...prolly like this feed is lmfao but its like shit that usually requires deciphering, usually has something at the end that you deciphered it for...wdeva there's also always the possibility i missed something, niggaz is only human n shit, but that could also double up as you didnt portray something well enough...iunno never a hate thing, but take it how you want #1 be easy