WEEK 6 MAG

[dull boy]

Introduction

Fuck what I said last week about not being at the half way point. We have 3 weeks left starting with week 7. At the end of week 9 we'll have our champion. Everyone's seeming a little burnt out and I have no interest in dragging people through a league they view as a chore to write for... but I don't want to just throw in the towel, either, so check the bottom of this post for what to expect in the next 3 weeks.

We had a champ match between User and Dave this week where User allowed Dave to post first and last. That kind of speaks to where we are right now.

BATTLE OF THE WEEK

User V Dave

Best Exchanges

1

Dave
Judges saying Dave’s on a tear.. maybe try asking Frac cus he knows
Only time you’ll find User on a tear is if he sat down too fast in chinos
Tubby pale red head, this ain’t hard it’s light work
Only thing with more material on you is your Karl Kani shirt

User
Listen you Newsy-hatted, toothy faggot - I’m taken aback
Wanna impress the judges? Say ‘water bottle’ without making ‘em laugh
Wow, bringing up my shirt? That’s kinda weird to know
If you have so much material, why are you pulling from 20 years ago?

Chinos was nah. Cool nod to your momentum and recalling the win over Frac to flex, but on a tear was light. Almost the same story for the second bar. News-hatted multi was dope and so was water bottle. Good jokes. Material flip was middle of the road.

Dave
Zuch’s top cheerleader.. isn’t it time that you hop from dudes cock
And water bottles only on your mind because it’s your dream to screw top
Plus The judges care what the words are, not just how they’re said
...And They’ll know all about my accent when I pronounce you dead

User
Get a better angle man, these are the kind that I find dim
You’ve mentioned Top 2 weeks in a row, and Zuch’s not even signed in
Pronounce me dead? Clever twist, mental midget
Ur country’s had a lot of crowns, but you got 32 in one dental visit

Using Zuch to get to top in screw was meh and I wasn't really feeling it as a rebuttal on User's bottle line, either. Pronounce you dead was fire. User calling Dave out for referencing Zuch was a nice angle, honestly. Crowns was fire.

Dave
You bringing up the crown is nothing short of a crummy play
When you’re the illegitimate ginger kid I’ma force to run away
The Karl kani was hard on the eye im not gonna lie it’s true
But these days you only rockin that drip when ur jaw get too tired to chew

User
Lines were good for 3 weeks, but lately they’re off
You only hate that I’m Ginger because you miss Scary, Sporty, Baby & Posh
Man, you stay dropping hopeless filler
Worried about my jaw, when ur teeth black enough for interviews at Oprah’s Villa

Ginger line was kinda clever. I liked it. Ginger/Space Girls reference was dope. After the crown line both referenced the interview. This was good stuff by both.

Dave
Spice girls? I ain’t no fan but if you say so man
And I guess Girl Power is the perfect descriptor for how this gay throws hands
Gonna have to be blunt, I’m finding it hard to palate this cunt
The only “hopeless filler” here is how you been ordering salads for lunch

User
Hey biscuit-face, we stopped giving shit to gays
And we don’t call them girls, in fact, we call them British Dave’s
You can’t clown and fight back while sounding like that,
You can’t palate me? That’s understandable, your mouth’s a spike trap

Girl power fell flat for me. Hopeless filler was cool lol Biscuit face/shit to gays/British Dave's was perfecto. Possibly my favorite line of the battle thus far. Thought spike trap was underwhelming.

Dave
Biscuit face? That shits misplaced if you want to get rid of me
Last time an internal was that forced you nearly lost your virginity
& Getting girls is a test that your wide ass ain’t passing
Shit, these days a ‘spike trap’ is the only chance you might have of smashing

Forced internal/virginity is meh. Spike trap rebuttal was pretty fucking great lol

Consensus

Judge quotes

This was a good read. I had it tied going into the last exchange. Dave had one bad and one good. So it stays even. Looking back my fav bar from either of them was rocking the drip. My least fav was British Dave’s.

Dave was off his game compared to previous weeks, for me. Typically 8/10 bars from him hit hard, but this week I read a handful of them as a little forced or landing light. Pronounce you dead, run away ginger and smashing were the highlights. User was more consistent with some nice internals that, despite Dave's line to the contrary, were actually pretty smoothly inserted. British Dave's, Ginger Spice, Zuch signed in, 32 crowns and water bottle were all lands.

2-1 Dave wins

Blue V Hush

Best Exchanges

1

Hush
He got rare wit...
A modern goat., the one guy in a battle I don’t stand a prayer wit
Your the txt Lebron James .. cept he was rich enough to get his hair fixed

Blue
thanks for the LeBron ref cuz boyyy i'ma riddle you w/ steal
there's gunna be MAD powder in the air once i clap you in the middle of a deal
you see i leave the crowd in amazement w/ this rhymin' stuff..
only eyebrow raising you're doin' is drawing on your wife's when ur high as fuck

Hush coming out swinging on Blue's receding hairline lol Powder was cool but drawing on the wife's eyebrows was the highlight here. Calls out his stoner personality and those crazy brows. Bar was worded cocky af too.

2

Hush
My beretta bang , it came from Compton
Rock u wit a face shot and raise ya eyebrow higher than Dwayne Johnson
Boy u either stressed or suck
Im calling foul - U gotta shorten reference to ref cuz ya bars stretched as fuck

Blue
approach from your porch, know i got the drop on you Vic
you'll get ya Screenshot then Put In a Box like you're Croppin' a Pic
save it Ricky Ricardo, don't even rhyme you dork
u've always had Short Set-Ups. her friends were setting a date w/ a guy that's 5 foot 4

It came from Compton? lol Tf... Then eyebrow and The Rock? Ref was a nice jab and observation. Cropping a pic feels like a generic but it's a dope one. Set ups was a dope concept but thought the wording was a little off.

Consensus

Judge quotes

Blue was near perfect until the last couple exchanges and hush had very little

Hush had an early lead but the FN exchange swung it his way and he didn't let go

Blue had this sewn up 3 exchanges in. Hush seemed less involved than normal and Blue was on point with Big House, owned you for a decade and took advantage of Hush missing his turn with Forth be with you lol Fucking blowout.

3-0 Blue Wins

Des V Frac

Best Exchanges

1

Frac
Des a middle aged pussy, y u always cryin man
Look like u never been in a fight in ur life. Wouldnt hands on sight in an eye exam
U always think u win. But u just ramble every tourney
Iknow u have arthritis but y cant u get a handle on ur wording

Des
saw dave laid some hands on u. & now des is here to put lead in ya
&&& this ain’t no fucking eye exam but i do have a scope in my retina
bad eyesight & arthritis? as far as old jokes go, this boy is lame
i don’t suffer from swollen wrists bitch but i do keep the joints inflamed

Hands on sight was questionable lol Handle on your wording was cool. Didn't love Des' retina bar, either. Joints inflamed was dope, but you lighting joints isn't a strong diss.

Frac
Gettin high tryin to forget that ur life is fucked
Yea youll be smoking out ur joints after the burner lights you up
No miscarriage jokes cause i was also throwin her the dick
I gave ur girl a pregnancy scare.. By the stairs, hoping she would slip

Des
let’s add it up. loving wife, two cute kids. 100 thou on a mortgage
seems to all equal to my life being a whole lot less fucked than yours is
asked my wife to be honest & say if she sucked and rode u
but i truly wonder will that ho tell....ever fucking promote you????

Smoking out your joints was a nice rebuttal. Dope. Liked the wording of the set up for the pregnancy line but the punch delivery was a little off. Des first bar was eh but the ho tell promotion was jokes lol

Consensus

Judge quotes

This battle was decent. Fell off towards the end.

Wasn't loving either. Slight edge to frac. Eye exam could've been fucking wild

This was a tough battle to vote on. Frac had some momentum going until ho tell but his bedpan bar swung things back in his direction. Holiday Inn was cool but I wasn't loving dreaming of a white one. Guy Zuch battled a lot was cool. Liked lives in the past and then Frac dropped that stinker on his last couplet. Think Des did enough with his last bar to edge out the win.

2-1 Des wins

Seth V Adverse

Best Exchanges

1

Adverse
Yooooo this guy’s a scientist? That’s fuckin funny dude
Only relation to Beakers is u look like a live action Bunsen Honeydew
You doing this aggressive act you just ain’t got the stomach for, bro
Only time u’ll see this ginger snap is fighting temptation to eat a bucket of those

Seth
Not a scientist, & when he knocks no one answers him
Guys 25 & looks like Walter White if he just let the cancer win
Ur life sucks, being a janitor & having half ur hair must kill
Ur at work fighting the temptation to eat a bucket of bleach u just filled

Bunsen Honeydew was fucking great lol Ginger snap was cool but could've been worded a bit better. Loved Seth's rebuttal here. Walter White was dope and the last punch was flipped back on him was nice.

Adverse
Out of all the things u could call me, lookin like Walt’s a vibe
Come to think of it, I see Jesse in you, look like u ate him, Saul and Mike
Wow Seth way to be subtle with wit another janitor rebuttal to flip?
Honestly the only cleaning supplies you’ll see is the bucket you gon kick

Seth
I didn’t say heisenberg I said if he never made it to the show
Calling you Walt Jr would be an insult to retards everywhere across the globe
Ofc everyone flips it, it’s sad that it’s true
If I killed myself I’d still die happier than you

Him, Saul and Mike was lollll Didn't love the internal here, but bucket to kick was a nice flip. Walt Jr was meh and happier than you was simple but landed pretty hard.

Consensus

Judge quotes

Seth had some good shot and stayed consistent all the way through. Wording was more crisp and concepts were fresher. Adverse was really cookie cutter especially in the beginning.

Adverse was a liiiiittle too simple in this one. Couple of his rebuttals were really nice, like box you're buried in, but they all felt like long hanging fruit. Seth was harsh on a couple of personals. His beat on the box and mess in your stalls was top notch shit.

3-0 Seth wins

Defiant V Spree

Consensus

Judge quotes

His best angles felt oddly familiar from earlier battles this season. Spree tried to go after semantics a little too much

Nobody had a bar that I liked here.

Clean around the house and curves at everyone's place dope. Dropping ass against Fraze was cool. After that the battle mostly devolved into cringe level concepts and weird angles.

2-1 Defiant wins

Mac V Lars

Consensus

Judge quotes

Mac was more consistent here, but barely. Because he forfeited a turn and Diablo didn’t absolutely embarrass himself

Mac started strong with whole picture but fell off. Lars good throughout

Lars was easily better here, but this is one of the tougher fights I've seen Mac put up. Losing that turn hurt him, but I think Lars had it sewn up anyhow.

3-0 Lars wins

[dull boy]

WEEK 7 3-WAY BATTLE

Our current champion (4-1) Dave and both former champions (5-1) Blue and (4-1) User will receive a bye in week 7. Battling in a 3-way this week will be (3-3) Seth, (3-3) Des and (2-3) Frac. Thank you to everyone else who participated in the league. Better luck next time. Here's how it will work..

Line limits will be increased to accommodate the extra battler. 1-3 bars per post. Rebuttals are still the main focus and will be prioritized during voting, but directly referencing your opponent is no longer necessary. This will hopefully lift some of the repetitiveness that's developed. All 3 battlers will have 16 hour deadlines from the time of the previous post and the battle will have 6 rounds of rotating turns that will go as such...

Seth-Des-Frac
Des-Frac-Seth
Frac-Seth-Des
Seth-Des-Frac
Des-Frac-Seth
Frac-Seth-Des

Each goes first, second and last twice during the battle. The turn forfeiture rule will remain in place, meaning that failing to post within the 16 hours deadline will result in you losing your turn and the battle continuing on to the next in line. I'll be keeping a close eye on the battle to help the turn rotation run smoothly and of course it will be re-posted within the battle thread. There is no Sunday deadline this week as the battle will not end until the 6 rounds are completed. At which point the battle will be opened for votes. No judges for this battle or the final four. The winner of this 3-way will join Blue, User and Dave in the final four beginning in week 8.

REVIEW AND PREDICTION
(by UserName)

Seth vs. Frac vs. Des

Seth vs. Frac II: Enter The Destroyer. That’d be my movie name for this if I had to make one up. It either sounds REALLY bad ass, or like a really bad Netcee’s porn adaptation. So, you’re welcome AND I’m sorry Des. Right off the bat this is an entertaining match-up, because while both Seth and Des struggled down the stretch, Frac was on a REALLY impressive run up to the end. Seth and Frac already tore into each other once, and fairly lengthily too. This could make it a little tougher for them to diss each other individually, and it’s partially why I’m sort of EXPECTING them both to gang up on Des with haymakers and keep their trade-off’s to minimal jabs here - just to keep it fresh. Des has fought tooth and nail to overcome some bitter defeats this season, but he stuck with it, admirably (after a meltdown or two). The odds are fairly stacked against him here, but maybe this 3-way will spark some creative angles for him to attack. Regardless, this is gonna be an all out assault of fat jokes, hotel punches and old man kneeslappers to keep us excited for the final 4. Any one of these guys would be a fun addition to the playoff finale.

Prediction – Frac noshows, Des has an anger-stroke, Seth somehow drops 648 lines dissing both of them

[Adverse]

Was gonna say idk what the judges want from me, but I guess it really doesn’t matter anymore lol

Good luck to the playoff competitors

[~RustyGunZ~]

Originally Posted by Adverse

Was gonna say idk what the judges want from me, but I guess it really doesn’t matter anymore lol

Good luck to the playoff competitors

Your wording is really shaping up lately but some of the concepts are just dated. Pretty much any bar about a box is gonna be overdone, between a catalog of punches about coffins and ur girls VAGINA

Diss connect very played

Basically wordplays need to be either hyper personal and/or super creative otherwise it’s best to stick to metaphors and personals as much as possible

A lot of the judges have been around forever so you can’t just spit stuff that would get meh reactions in prime NC battle arena and expect your new grasp on wording to take it all the way

[Adverse]

Originally Posted by ~RustyGunZ~

Your wording is really shaping up lately but some of the concepts are just dated. Pretty much any bar about a box is gonna be overdone, between a catalog of punches about coffins and ur girls VAGINA

Diss connect very played

Basically wordplays need to be either hyper personal and/or super creative otherwise it’s best to stick to metaphors and personals as much as possible

A lot of the judges have been around forever so you can’t just spit stuff that would get meh reactions in prime NC battle arena and expect your new grasp on wording to take it all the way

I appreciate that critique over “you know, Adverse was good, but Seth was good-Er”

I guess where my wording had been shoddy at times I started going for the low hanging fruit bar instead so I wasn’t shooting myself in the foot?

I’ll keep all that in my mind though, thank you