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Old 03-27-2021, 09:40 PM   #1
Adverse
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Default FINALS: #6 BROKENHAL0 vs #16 SYMETRIK HAL0 WINS 3-0

AOWL Season IX PLAYOFFS SEMI FINALS
@brokenhal0 @symetrik

Verse Due: THURSDAY APRIL 1ST @ 11:59 PM EST


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Rules:http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=145451[/b]

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GOOD LUCK
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Old 03-28-2021, 12:14 AM   #2
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whattup halo, check check.
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Old 03-30-2021, 05:37 AM   #3
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''The Shade''
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQc9hfolxqc

I water my tree with a pail that never empty's
herd's of goats defend me,deers eat the berries,
spread seeds, so the fruits can grow plenty
strangling deadly weeds , blossoms blooming heavy

Leaf by Leaf, I manufacture homes for squirrels to sleep in
provide shade cause my shadow gets deepen
I ain't no great gardener,balsam fern follows trails to golgotha
the frankincense ignites a candelabra with a vital pulse

My branches got scorched by numerous lighting bolts
aphid's have orgy's inside the mulch , fibrous oak
woodpeckers carve the codes grotto homes in old forest growth
as bushes burn for wisemen , kush calms the hyper soul

Honey combs,muddy clothes,my buddy hopes to die
burberry noose, he tried , to climb with every shoe that he tied
the day we found him dead,the knot was very loose and dry

Tied up to these functions , hot air balloons get depressurized
another caveman eating grubs out the decaying desert pine
using a arrow head like a banger knife wearing festive nikes
the cherry blossoms smell like cotton candy and lemon rice
little dude set you're intentions right
or learn ya lessons for the rest of life

Bboy with the rain dance,dry days span longer in this wasteland
Another knuckle-dragger space cadet
standing naked near a screen door in tampa, waist deep in the pits
found greater payback climbing trees where serpents slip

Little Timothy rather gamble with gravity, his god was a Fascist
adorned his crown of thorns, like a impalas antlers
mystery notes tied to olive branches , these doors lead to nowhere
and you ain't got no chances

And yet you dare to try me,you'll be swashbuckling with pirate zombies
weeping over spilled milk he ran back home and cried to mommy
a seed modeled after a fools likeness , rational minded , quercus ilex
when the ibex hide from nairobi nightmares im out poaching lions

Eden is thriving they don't believe in violence standing in eves shadow
beanstalk man who crunches marrow trees of death cant touch the tarot
the pail contains blood not the wells cider wild satire
on the farm we used iboga bark for the bonfire
carving lover's hearts on sycamores in south carolina

The day it snowed wingless angels gathered under weeping willows
squealing like crows when halos are lost among the shadows breach
celestial ground is found broken like a bottle on a shallow beach
exposing a bottomless depth abyss falls as I gather speed
A small piece of your soul that's left immersed in fractal sheets
will attach to a rope as the doorways open to factual peace

These pecans taste sweet as the night breathes
opium grows among the camphor trees
the illuminated brethren showcasing agony's

Held within this welded sphere , to sacrifice a binding tide
rolling down a hill of tears , a pail full of vanquished pride
sequoias grow for a million years , looking for a brighter sky
into the wood chipper you go , tell us why ?! a thousand goodbyes

With one drop of water Timothy disappeared
The ground was cleared inhale the damp evening air
There's no need for fear another hangmans noose swinging bare
tied to it was a empty watering pot and a lock of hair.....The shade

Last edited by brokenhal0; 04-02-2021 at 07:18 PM.
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Old 04-02-2021, 10:45 PM   #4
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLxYC1gVQxw

"Tommy got an F in his math class this term.
That severely limits what his jobs might earn,
know he's only thirteen but this should cause concern,
this the kinda outcome show me he don't wanna learn."

Fuck that. "Tommy!" you ain't never been a kid?
You ain't never had decisions that you don't know how to pick?
You ain't never lay awake, feeling anxious and sick?
"But you're so damn smart", and you're just a stupid bit...
my only role model's been my dead beat dad -
he has given up on every little dream that he's had.
prolly never thought that he could even water his tree,
but I am not him and he sure ain't me.

"Tommy got an F in his math class this term.
That severely limits what his jobs might earn,
know he's only thirteen but this should cause concern,
this the kinda outcome show me he don't wanna learn.
I don't want this to be coming off that mean,
and I mean, got a friend with a kid who's sixteen
and they benefitted massively when we intervened,
maybe mister Tommy should be placed in special needs"

Fuck that. "Tommy!" You've been telling me I'm smart
for the last two years, now then suddenly it's hard,
and I need a little help so that must mean that I'm dumb.
you told me when we grow up is when life gets really tough.

but little do you know that I've been bullied all year.
I've been sleeping at my desk with the hood up to hide my tears
I've been made to feel like I am so worthless and low,
as if this system of indifference is predicting where I'll go.

and I never felt dumb 'til you told me that I was
and I'm never really certain that I'm giving it enough,
and I'm always feeling lost on the path that I'm on,
cuz I've constantly been dreading that I'm doing something wrong.

like, I won't be a screw up if I'm making good grades
and I'll be that much healthier if I'm just sitting straight
I just want do these things my own way.
I just need a break.
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Old 04-08-2021, 01:07 AM   #5
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brokenhal0:

beat: wasnt obnoxious it really blended in nicely with your structure and made it flow together through out

topic: was on point, kinda feel even though you did explore a door paradox it could have been open more but that simply could be the natural evolution of forming one that the reader wants more of what you got, so good use..

all in all pretty verse my man, very poetically descriptive and and round something subtle but colourful for the mind.. the story was def there very soft but it still shone enough to be there.. like i said before the strongest part was the poetry nature of it.. structure rhythm all fire.. vocab hot in general as intelligent choice of words.. only complaint it kinda dragged on but yeh that could have been because of how you used the door sample it felt like you actually closed the door on your timothy character just to open it up to say surprise its me.. i dont if that was intentional or not but.. just fell a lil shy for me.. fav line - hehe "like cotton candy and lemon rice"


symetrik:

beat: is reallllll nice man i loved it very ethnic lil bit salsa dancing type of fused hip hop blues.. really dug it and verse meshed with it.. id say better choice then halos..

topic: its funny because halo explored the topic more in sense of literal word but as far as actually explored as in you have been invited to enter the topic you made it more homely so you could comfortably feel the topic swallow you and spit you out rather then open/close.. nice man

short but sweet.. i think your structure was the highlight you had a tight flow a lil over flown but the structure held it together.. the story wise was off the chain a whole lesson learned from a child that would learn because you cant be taught.. it was full of emotion and really drove the piece.. a lil too much of nothing though.. you were up against a verse that was soo full of new life and idea and minus a hook in relation you were only holding like ten bars which only five were sway able.. but still dont get me wrong dope piece it was just in need of some seriously larger punches thrown if you feel me..

vote = brokenhal0

good job guys and good luck, i went with bh for it seemed more flushed out less emotion but more description just my personal opinion.. cheers
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Old 04-09-2021, 02:26 PM   #6
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Despite 3 or 4 grammatical errors I've got brokenhalo here.
His piece was packed full of imagery and tree references.

Symetrik's was Okay,and rhymed well, but didn't pack any punch. Halo's held my attention and made me want to see what came next. Symetrik's was a little too simple.
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Old 04-13-2021, 09:35 AM   #7
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Honestly, for a champ match I expected more but it is what it is, don’t give a crap about the beats personally. This is a topical text tournament and I’m judging it by that solely.

Hal0 this was a lot less refined than what you’ve brought thus far this season, there were still glimmers of dope imagery. But the story was all over the place, I liked the references to the trees and woodland scapes, BUT they kind of felt forced in places like you were just saying them to say them. But like I said there was some redeeming stuff you’re way ahead of where you used to be and I really respect the growth you’ve had just this season alone.

“ The day it snowed wingless angels gathered under weeping willows
squealing like crows when halos are lost among the shadows breach
celestial ground is found broken like a bottle on a shallow beach
exposing a bottomless depth abyss falls as I gather speed
A small piece of your soul that's left immersed in fractal sheets”

Favorite bit. Appreciate the vocabulary.


Symetrik:
Honestly enjoyed your entry vs Diablo much more than this. There was a poetic nature about it, it envoked imagery. This story on the other hand was very linear and tbh just not very compelling, no matter how relatable it was. For the final I just expected more of a grandiose approach. Especially after you escaped that first round with Lars and somehow found yourself in the champ match, I just expected a tad bit more fire, but it never came.

All in all, I feel like this was a very flawed champ match (kind of a suitable cap for a very disappointing season) Hal0 wasn’t as coherent as I would have liked him to be, and Symetrik was much too simple. I’ve got Hal0 here because he had the more compelling piece and though he didn’t craft a masterpiece he still had some good stuff in here

V/Hal0
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