11-08-2020, 02:14 PM | #1 |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599678 |
maple syrup
she’s smiling cheek to cheek, wide veneer cheshire
feel my eyes tether through your bed side this that pressurized, bend-her-over sex drive the entry to her treasure room, legs wide find you in the vestibule, whisper at your back side cause vigors’ just a side effect to when i imbibe if pleasures just a mental boost i take pleasure in these mental boosts every damn time every touch explodes, fingers foot soldiers on a land-mine something better be boiling on the inside finger trace narcotic curves. im on a daze can’t i? concentrate on what God unfurled? my pussy. you love it when i commentate on what i deserve but you hate when i try to say that im unheard undulating hyper-wave has gone berserk now i’m insane cause you dont fuck the same from what i observed im hard headed. my heart is soft centered call center worker spun into withdrawal shivers jewel spheres spawn light into these dark whispers calm flickers, palm slipping, annihilation we’d drop zippers. soft whimpers, dilating raw rhythm you and i, condone this kaleidoscopic, eye scoping, slight hypnosis. caution warning message is sent 60mg oxytocin shower the flesh of your lips hypnotic dosage her butterfly journal. no reason to flutter like a field i discovered, where i trace over patterns left by previous lovers mind boggled, too. reading diaries on how they failed to conquer you chapters left blank, with nothing but a pencil and time hand drawing rainbows with watercolor pigmenting dye the arc of your back, with melted oil enzymes frozen moment in time, where we coil inside tongue ready to taste sweat that delicately falls up like summer tree leaves in the depths of this autumn or syrup filling places inbetween bark on a maple sitting in the hilly banks swaddled in hazel how are we able? despite our armor so frigid. both thinking twice as harder fragile, frosted crystallizing water budding with pheromones to visualize our partner bubbling over seas of red & rosy, slow touchings, moans buzzing, and get to know mes blanket passion. the kiss me slowlys turn sound off. let me go, please enshrouded with fervor can we hear you in a forest of trees when you shout and you murmur?
__________________
precision defender Last edited by dead man; 12-22-2020 at 10:25 PM. |
11-08-2020, 03:33 PM | #2 |
Ad mini tator
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,005
Battle Record: 26-54
Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 85899399 |
kaleidoscopic, eyes scoping, slight hypnosis
solid work bb |
11-24-2020, 09:41 PM | #3 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,962
Battle Record: 6 - 14
Rep Power: 0 |
Much better than maple.
There's real feelings behind this shit. Very well written BB. Sexual subject matter you took to another level, obviously. Doesn't necessarily bother me. |
11-25-2020, 12:43 PM | #4 |
consults Lloyd
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,075
Battle Record: 0-8
Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast
Rep Power: 39345600 |
This is so good
|
12-09-2020, 04:23 AM | #5 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 530
Battle Record: 7-5
Champed - Guerrilla Writing League
Rep Power: 5689705 |
this is nasty
Quote:
__________________
I remember the poplar trees |
|
12-18-2020, 10:38 PM | #6 |
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,465
Battle Record: 33-18
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 4
- Write Week V
- GWL Season 1
Rep Power: 77606676 |
like a field i discovered, where i trace over patterns left by previous lovers
reading diaries on how they failed to conquer you chapters left blank, with nothing but a pencil and time hand drawing rainbows with watercolor pigmenting dye the arc of your back, with melted oil enzymes frozen moment in time, where we coil inside tongue ready to taste sweat your maple series reads like a workshop on sensuality. it verges on the brink of pornographic but always reigns it in before it becomes smut. the writing is beautiful. it ranges from aggressive to withdrawn and reflective within moments. its compassionate and thoughtful. i'll have to leave more detailed thoughts later when i've got more time and energy but i wanted to at least comment. thank you.
__________________
Zack Wicks for president |
12-22-2020, 10:25 PM | #7 |
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,465
Battle Record: 33-18
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 4
- Write Week V
- GWL Season 1
Rep Power: 77606676 |
she’s smiling cheek to cheek, wide veneer cheshire
feel my eyes tether through your bed side this that pressurized, bend-her-over sex drive the entry to her treasure room, legs wide find you in the vestibule, whisper at your back side cause vigors’ just a side effect to when i imbibe if pleasures just a mental boost i take pleasure in these mental boosts every damn time liked. carnal liquor-laced lustful. these are the kind of things i remember most about even the worst relationships i've found myself involved in over the years. first couple lines were rhythmically fantastic. every touch explodes, fingers foot soldiers on a land-mine something better be boiling on the inside finger trace narcotic curves. im on a daze can’t i? concentrate on what God unfurled? my pussy. you love it when i commentate on what i deserve but you hate when i try to say that im unheard this is what i meant by that distinct double edge of the writing here. aggressive and domineering followed directly by anxiety and child-like worry. great sex does not replace understanding. communication. compatibility. not even close undulating hyper-wave has gone berserk now i’m insane cause you dont fuck the same from what i observed disliked im hard headed. my heart is soft centered loved call center worker spun into withdrawal shivers jewel spheres spawn light into these dark whispers calm flickers, palm slipping, annihilation we’d drop zippers. soft whimpers, dilating raw rhythm gorgeous you and i, condone this kaleidoscopic, eye scoping, slight hypnosis. caution warning message is sent 60mg oxytocin shower the flesh of your lips the last line of this might be my favorite from the work. isn't it all chemical anyway hypnotic dosage her butterfly journal. no reason to flutter like a field i discovered, where i trace over patterns left by previous lovers ugh. mind boggled, too. reading diaries on how they failed to conquer you chapters left blank, with nothing but a pencil and time hand drawing rainbows with watercolor pigmenting dye the arc of your back, with melted oil enzymes frozen moment in time, where we coil inside i dated a girl for a very long time who had kept a journal since she was a very young child. she had detailed all of her adolescent crushes, her daily minutia, her family history through her eyes, her few actual relationships. we would read it and laugh. she had stopped keeping a diary a couple years before we met. but i was always curious how our passages would read. we were a chapter left blank. the arched back / melted oil portion creates a beautiful slice of portraiture here. tongue ready to taste sweat that delicately falls up like summer tree leaves in the depths of this autumn kind of uninteresting until you tie it in with the next line or syrup filling places inbetween bark on a maple its wintertime now. many of us spent a lot of time outside this year. this pangs of an every-year nostalgia that surfaces right around now. comparing sweat droplets on skin to syrup on bark is actually very pretty. an extraction of effort by any means. sitting in the hilly banks swaddled in hazel how are we able? despite our armor so frigid. both thinking twice as harder liked for the idea but disliked for the pretty terrible phrasing. fragile, frosted crystallizing water budding with pheromones to visualize our partner loved. it looked like flowerbeds in a river of ice. bubbling over seas of red & rosy, slow touchings, moans buzzing, and get to know mes blanket passion. the kiss me slowlys love turns of phrase like this. moans buzzing, blanket passion, excellent. turn sound off. let me go, please enshrouded with fervor can we hear you in a forest of trees when you shout and you murmur? i kinda wish you ended it on a different note. you end with sort of a nonsense question posed philosophically. kind of felt like waxing nothing here. a declaration of lust. pensive romantic reflection. imaginative wandering. all in a distinctly powerful writer's voice. people always say they'll be back to drop some real thoughts and they never return. i hoped to break the cycle here. thanks bud
__________________
Zack Wicks for president |
12-23-2020, 01:12 AM | #8 | |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599678 |
Quote:
|
|
12-25-2020, 09:00 PM | #9 |
DOHpe since 02'
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Surrounded by white ppl
Posts: 14,693
Battle Record: 43-24
Champed - Netcees Battle League
- 1-2 Punch Onslaught
- 1-2 Punch League
- Hot or Thot Roast
- Hot or Thot 2018
- Fight Night 11
- NPL Roast
Rep Power: 34230531 |
Tranny confirmed
__________________
It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you
Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople |
12-27-2020, 04:39 PM | #10 |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599678 |
|
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|