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Old 04-29-2020, 07:45 PM   #1
Blue Bayou
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Default NBL Season XIV Week Four Magazine: Cog da Gawd!

NBL Season XIV Week Four Magazine


Week 3 Top Punches – by Blue Bayou

Some dope punches last week guys Kudos....


Family biz struggles w/ little hope. The new chain will END ya folks
Joint Venture – 'Mom & Pop went together in a Big Box'...that's Small Business Growth
-INF vs. Allen Knight

Cus you whack! faggot.. jus another NBL punching bag ive never heard of!
Your like Marilyn Monroe... a bitch only known for grates lifting your skirt up
-Flow vs Ender

Archaeological concepts! That mean they’re dated and light
Get skinned by the blade at night... That brush with the metal uncover ur bones like excavation sites
-Wanderer vs. Slect

U thrive off easy wins. So when it comes to being number one, you not
Cuz I’ve checked your stats, & you’ve never had to count on punches with the compubox
-Letterman vs Cashius

Multiple guns to ya squad. You wanna hold-heat-like-Cash?...go see the draft
Tua come out the pocket and cause injury concerns...then your whole team’ll pass
You left NC and took RB’s title. But in the NBL...you can’t recover your best days
You’re Gronk...claimed a fake belt, then came back to the league to do nothing but catch fades
-Cashius vs Letterman

I can't stand this lame fuck. And everyone here hates you alot
Final stage boss? We're hoping that's what the doctor says when asking what kind of cancer you got
Imma pull up n murder everybody... Mom, dad, even your young kin
Bring that rifle thru your house so fast you'd think I was looking for something
-FGR vs. Neighbor

Ya bitch be payin me for sex; that whore won't stop takin porno shots
& trust me, I ain't cheap - it cost her $10K to get the Loadout like a Warzone drop
Nuclear bomb attached to ya ride; irony's in the Glad bags ya tied to:
Ya gettin my throwaways for Chemist & they'll be diggin through HAZMAT to find you
-Neighbor vs FGR

Leave you in critical condition, I get to clickin and shove this stick through your guts
EMT pumpin ya chest like WinRAR, performing compressions before zipping you up
Each bullet opens your fucking skull til your folks can’t even stow the remains
I’ll Connect 4 - When that slide opens, these rounds droppin expose the holes in ur game
-Answer vs. John Dillinger

knife'll slice Mine from spine to grill so wish him luck
stab Friend in the back then bring it up to his face like ion give a fuck
-Aura vs. Zelph



Battle of the Week – by Blue Bayou

Awesome battle guys. FGR very impressive verse some of those concepts were very dope.

FGRs Verse
We can go toe to toe in this fight. The punches your supplying are worse
If you hear he's beating me to death It's bcuz Im killing him first
Face to face I would trash u.. a smack or two and he's done
I'll beat your ass halfway home then feel bad about you living in one
I can't stand this lame fuck. And everyone here hates you alot
Final stage boss? We're hoping that's what the doctor says when asking what kind of cancer you got
I don't shoot to wound I shoot to kill. So this dude ain't stopping me
If I dump the clip at Boreas dead! & I ain't into Greek mythology
Imma pull up n murder everybody... Mom, dad, even your young kin
Bring that rifle thru your house so fast you'd think I was looking for something
Barrel aimed at your head... There's no point in wearing a vest
Neigh better run from this armorial get put in a box like storing a family crest

vs.

Neighs Verse
Wtf's an FGR? lol


My resume's stacked; 50+ wins on the dopest to board w/ you
Before eyewitness F-150, they'll be describin the truck I loaded ya corpse into
Getcha face sawed & sliced til I snap the fuckin blade off the knife
It's effortless.. w/out breakin a sweat, lodge in the temple like a Masonic shrine
Let a cartridge burst in ya living room - ya wife or ya daughter first?
Tied up, held at gunpoint; put ya fam in the middle of the sticks like Martin Byrde
Ya whole world do a 180° - I empty shells, you ain't gettin ANY help
The semi melt; what I pull off the buckle's flippin F's upside-down like a Fendi belt
Ya bitch be payin me for sex; that whore won't stop takin porno shots
& trust me, I ain't cheap - it cost her $10K to get the Loadout like a Warzone drop
Nuclear bomb attached to ya ride; irony's in the Glad bags ya tied to:
Ya gettin my throwaways for Chemist & they'll be diggin through HAZMAT to find you



Verse of the Week – by Blue Bayou

*Props for the quick drop as well. Some fireee concepts in this. Props you deaf dick lover

Answers Verse

I said pick how many bars you want to do from 10-20 and you replied “Sounds good”

Eat a dick you retarded piece of shit

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Dillinger
Do yall ever be feeling suicidal. Real spit
20 it is, pussy. I’ll give him that disciplined ass whipping this faggot loser deserves
I’ll drop first and beat him to submission.. ur pop shoulda done that to you from the birth
FUCK Blue for giving me this emo waste of life, I’m a GOAT and this dude’s not
Only time you’ll see john writing at a high level is a suicide note from the rooftop
Knock em out, one uppercut leaves this twat swollen before he knows it connected
Got em sayin “Jesus, he came outta nowhere” like Mary tellin Joseph she’s pregnant
You’ll get stuck up with the Mossberg, rob his ass.. this fake mobster’s a giant patsy
John’ll empty his pockets greasing the Deaf guy so quick Peter Griffin’ll try & snatch me
Leave you in critical condition, I get to clickin and shove this stick through your guts
EMT pumpin ya chest like WinRAR, performing compressions before zipping you up
Each bullet opens your fucking skull til your folks can’t even stow the remains
I’ll Connect 4 - When that slide opens, these rounds droppin expose the holes in ur game
Named after a gangster when u in the burbs and meet scraps with aggressive hugs
Last time I saw John in the field throwing a fist up, it was the end of the Breakfast Club
I bust first, if you ain’t trynna see slugs work, we gone need you to stay at home
Only clip u see John Arryn, his eyes covered like a scene from the Game of Thrones
Plant bombs in ya whip, C4’s in the seat floor, your results have been postponed
Let that shit blow til his Carbon in the air so long it puts a second hole in the Ozone
ONE call.. my snipers gone draw their lasers all over this stupid cock sucker
They’ll have this HO surrounded by beams lookin like Hydroxide’s Lewis Dot Structure


Congrats to @Answer for VOTW! BARS!!



Week 3 Reviews - by Neighbor

An overwhelming amount of no-shows kept this week's Reviews short & sweet. Despite only 50% of the field showing up last week, some of them did indeed come to play. Let's take a look back at the competition from Week 3

Sinacog vs. Dull Boy vs. Smash
Unfortunately for Smash & Sinacog, Dallas aka @dull boy must've been too pre-occupied w/ cocaine, hookers & painting his face like a Juggalo to show for this one. But that didn't stop the PISTON SLAYING, CHAMELEON KILLING, ASSASSIN BOMBER known as @Sinacog from showing up & putting a clinic on the mystery man known as @SMaSH. However, as luck would have it, Smash must've commissioned the likes of Calefaction & Resin to ghostwrite a hot 10 for him because he was able to BARELY avoid the wrath of the ARMED GORILLA KONG FROM THE VANILLA KONG & swept it unanimously


Cashius vs. Letterman
My pick for BOTW here; 2 big wigs went at it & threw down on a couple of sweet 14's that didn't disappoint. @Cashius brought his signature creativity & personals, coupled w/ his blinding consistency against @Letterman's in-your-face punches & clean execution. A great back & forth, in the end it was Cash eclipsing Letterman's verse w/ a 5-2 decision. Easily could've been a Champ Match & I'm sure both of these fellas will be rematching in one soon

Slect vs. Wanderer
Another great match up, the Wandering Walrus Wizard Walnut @Wanderer took on possible username typo @Slect in a barnburner of a 10 line showdown. Slect had a well-timed Hogwarts bar which made my heart flutter, but Wanderer fired back w/ a bar threatening to cut his opponent like he was sharing pizza w/ friends, which pretty much sealed the deal on Wand's 5-0 victory

Ender vs. Flow
A battle that deserved much more attention (& votes) than it garnered, Flippity Dippity @Flow went head-to-head w/ the always Entertainingly Electrifying @Ender in 5 bars of pure grit & grime. Both came w/ direct verses that got right to the point & had readers on the edge of their seats, but when the dust settled, it was Flow who landed the bigger shots & got the nod for his 2-0 record

Inf vs. Allen Knight
Another BOTW contender, Impotent @INF & the Anal Nightmare @Allen Knight squared off in the triangular circle to see who had the brass & who was just spinning their wheels. A real clash of styles & battle of wills; voters were feeling Inf's creative & conceptually cutting punches, while also acknowleding AK's straightforward, jab-heavy approach. In the end, Inf was able to establish a 4-0 shutout over the Hall Of Famer & proved his ability to squeeze the base in this game of inches

FGR vs. Neighbor (by @Flow)
Probably the dopest battle this week imo. FGR very much held his own and showcased his threat level here for any future adversaries. Littered with good concepts such as final stage boss, rifle through your house, half way home. Infact this battle really would have been a fifty fifty had FGR not had the miss (the boas bar). That one bar letting him down really hurt him and also perfectly highlights neighbours talents. Consistency. FGR had pretty much a 3 fire bars an some solids, but neighbour hit for most in every bar an I ain't sleeping on his own fire here. Loadout bar was just pure perverted it was so nasty. Flipping FS and F150 were genius name flips on someone who's name is always going to be a tough cookie to flip well, an to top it off that Ozark bar is still perfectly stuck in my head, just shows the wording was dope. Definately a dope battle here, but neighbours experience and consistent bangers shone through but expect FGR to be taking scalps this season.


NS Shine

Shoutout to @Answer for dropping a big 20 bomb that would've been tough to outdo had his opponent, @John Dillinger, poked his head out



THE LONG AWAITED @Sinacog INTERVIEW - by Neighbor

Sin, thank you for gracing us w/ this golden opportunity to get inside your head & witness what makes one of text’s most formidable practitioners tick. Please answer truthfully & to the best of your ability


1. What’s up, man? How are things? What are you wearing right now?

Hello, Neighbor. Things are doing well. I am from a former web-site called Rap-Royalty; when I am banned and I am a champion on there. How are you doing? Things are doing well on my part. I am wearing expensive clothing.


2. That sounds delicious. Are you a breakfast guy? Or do you prefer intermittent fasting? Both have shown metabolic benefits

I love breakfast; my favorite breakfast is pancakes with sausage; and I do fast a lot because I am a christian. It was very delectable.


3. Indeed. So the name “Sinacog” conjures images of angels & demons, cogs, cinnamon, & also synagogues. Did you choose this moniker based on your Jewish heritage or is there a deeper, more divine story behind it?

It is based on my christian relgiious heritage and it is centered around my faith and fate. I love God, angels, and demon's and write with the name 'Sinacog' Synagogue; because of it.


4. As I would’ve guessed. That being said, I’m sure you’re aware that you’re one of the more prolific writers on NC atm, utilizing elements of syntax & texture rarely displayed by your contemporaries. Describe your writing process in a few sentences (don’t hold back)

It involves complex verbiage, complex rhyme schemes; and no grammar and punctuation.


5. Despite having an 0-2 record in the NBL, & a 0-6 record overall, you seem to drop some of the most fierce & flagrant verses I’ve witnessed in recent memory, often edited superbly & way ahead of schedule. Where does this confidence come from? Are you a grower or a shower? Do you use illegal drugs?

I love writing sacred scriptures; and I don't do drugs. I smoke competition.


6. Who’s your pick to go undefeated in the NBL this Season? Give me your Top 3 battlers, atm

Neighbor
Blue Bayou
Cashius


7. Were you aware that Blue Bayou is a closeted homosexual?

I am aware.


8. Did it surprise you?

No, it did not. Because he 'CAME' out the closet.


9. Aside from scribing some of the most tantalizing & tenacious text we’ve been privileged enough to feast our eyes on, what else occupies your time?

Book
Writing
Reading


10. Are midgets people?

Sinacog: No.


Thank you in advance & Godspeed

Sinacog: Thank you, Neighbor.



Week 4 Predictions - by Neighbor

Neigh's Picks for Week 4

Cashius vs. Inf
Our first Champ Match of the Season is here, & did we mention there's $50 up for grabs in this one?! Idk about y'all, but where I'm from, you can buy a whole lot of nylon rope & duct tape w/ that kind of coin! That being said, it's time to bark w/ the big dogs; let's take a look at our 2 Contenders for Week 4: Cashius is a multi-time NBL Champion who has conquered multiple leagues/tournaments & secured his place in NC's coveted Hall Of Fame. Inf has a similar resume, boasting over 50 wins & multiple site-wide Accomplishments, minus the HOF status. Both men boast a 3-0 record & know how much is at stake here. Judging on their recent showings, I think Cashius has a clear edge IF they agree to longer line limits; his consistency's a problem for anyone. However, Inf has proven that his creativity, relevant personals & clean wording can get the job done against anyone, w/ a win last week over a fierce competitor in Allen Knight - I favor him more in a match-up with shorter line limits. If both show to their ability, I'd give Cash the edge, but I'd love to see Inf prove me wrong & write to the level I know he's capable of

Cashius 60/40

Flow vs. Aura
The man they call Flow has been showing & proving as of late, recently Champing the 1-2 Punch League against the Big Gay GOAT himself, Blue Bayou. Aura appears to be an alias or perhaps an intruding butt-pirate from another site trying to plunder Netcees' ship. Irrespective of his booty hunting, the man holds a 2-0 record like his opponent, which means both of these formidable fudgepackers are in the running for a Contendership Match next week. This has the potential to be BOTW, as both of these little ass wranglers are hungry for victory & more than capable of bringing high-level bars. I can't call it

Split 50/50


Inno vs. Incredible
The wiley veteran Inno is "in no" position to take an L this week; holding a 2-1 record & a firm grasp on what it takes to please the good voters of NC. Incredible, however, has his work cut out for him here & should be ingesting plenty of blood-thinners before injecting himself w/ copious amounts of psychoactive drugs in order to weave the concept-heavy verses we know he's capable of producing. Another sleeper match here, I have to give the slight edge to Inno based solely on his chosen livelihood in manual labor. Remember kids, speed kills

Inno 55/45


Defiant vs. Letterman
The sleeper match of Week 4. Defiant is a crafty cocksmuggler who's more than capable of upsetting many of NC's most seasoned veterans. Letterman has had a solid Season thus far, & should be in top form here after his razor-thin decision defeat at the hands of Cashius last week. If he's motivated & rejuvenated, I think he takes it easily, however I wouldn't be shocked if Defiant shows up w/ some big dick energy & posts the W

Letterman 60/40

Wanderer vs. Ender
The Wacky Wand Wiggler himself, Wanderer, is set to match wits w/ one of the most flamboyant & mysterious men NC's has ever seen in Ender. Holding a disproportionate record of 1-2, Ender looks to find his rhythm here & bring bars w/ the consistency of his higher-ranked contemporaries. Wanderer is no stranger to using words as weapons, however, & it can be surmised that he's performed his fair share of lyrical miracles over the years. He holds a 1-0 record & shows promise in adding another notch to his belt, unless Ender can pull a stick of dynamite out of his ass & send him packing back to the Google search he crawled out of

Wanderer 60/40

Smash vs. FGR
Ngl, I slept on FGR last week & almost got caught; the man has bars & has clearly been putting in work in the text arena. Smash dropped a solid verse last week & BARELY managed to pull off the upset against boy hero & future NC Hall Of Famer Sinacog (who I had winning in quotes, tbc); so we know he's got the potential for a storied career in the NBL. If FGR continues to formulate punches like he has been & sharpens his wording a bit, I can see him being a real threat to anyone signed in atm. I think this is really a toss up & could also be in contention for BOTW if both of these ball ticklers take this match seriously

Split 50/50

Slect vs. Adverse
I'm pretty sure Slect was that guy who got banned for posting pics of himself sticking a pencil in his ass as part of a bet w/ Adverse, but then Adverse ended up being outed as the one who actually took the photo, exposing themselves as the first co-dependent, homosexual text couple in the history of NC (& possibly the internet). Either way, I'm glad to see these guys have made new aliases & set aside their gay, tumultuous past to finally settle things in the lime green ring. I could be wrong about all of that, but I hope I'm not. Good luck, fellas

Split 50/50


Ryno vs. Sinacog
I was going to really delve deep into the meta-analysis on this one, but let's be honest; Sinacog needs no introduction. As the resident RHETORIC SPITTER who INHERITED NINEVEH, he's purposely taken the fall against his last 3 opponents & gifted them w/ victories as part of, what I can only assume is, his master plan. Idk who the fuck Ryno is, but good luck, buddy; the charity's over

Sinacog 99/1

Bomb Bard vs. Brokenhalo
Bomb Bard the Big Bard Bomber Bipptiy Boom Banga vs. the man who made 2 separate words into 1 word & can most likely fit 2 separate dicks into 1 hole. Hey, I'm just kidding; that name's really edgy & neat. I've never seen either of these gentelmen before, so they could be UserName & Calefaction aliases for all we know. What we DO know is that they'll both be abusing prescription uppers to put on an absolute classic for us this week & for that, I'm truly thankful

Split 50/50


Well, that does it for Neigh's Picks, guys. I hope you all show up accordingly & in top form; we had wayyy too many no-shows last week, & if I just spent all this time reviewing & predicting you little shit-dicks' battles for nothing, I'm going to have Sinacog pay his shooters to come give you a Job Raking even Barcotic would run from. Let's all put our best foot forward this week & show the algorithm we're not just a bunch of middle-aged faggots striving to recapture our youth via outlandish & unrealistic man poetry. Good luck & may God have mercy on your souls


OUTRO – by Blue Bayou

HUUUUUGE Thanks to @Neighbor for his massive contributions to the league this week. Great content i might have to add you to the payroll. An even bigger shout out to @Sinacog for naming me one of the 3 most dangerous in a league i'm not even in. That's love! Ruhspek you maniac!!

First champ of the season will be crowned this week and win $50. Keep writing fire and doing your part by voting. Love ya'll im gone!
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I had to throw my underwear in the dumpster outback
Uve won"
-kungfugrip

Last edited by Blue Bayou; 04-29-2020 at 08:00 PM.
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Old 04-29-2020, 07:57 PM   #2
Inno
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Lmao manual labor. Well done neighbor!
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Old 04-29-2020, 08:03 PM   #3
Sharp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Bayou View Post
7. Were you aware that Blue Bayou is a closeted homosexual?

I am aware.


8. Did it surprise you?

No, it did not. Because he 'CAME' out the closet.
Neigh and Sinacog are the best people in text today

Blues easy #3 for putting the mag together

Props to everyone involved
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Old 04-29-2020, 08:07 PM   #4
Universe
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Amazing read. Hilarious. Great job to all involved. That Sinacog interview alone was worth the price of admission.

Enjoyed this immensely.
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Old 04-29-2020, 09:09 PM   #5
Answer
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Let the evidence show that sinacog avoided the grower or shower question


Fire mag
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Old 04-29-2020, 09:21 PM   #6
Allen Knight
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Dope shit yahll props.
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Old 04-29-2020, 10:06 PM   #7
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Dope mag guys.
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Old 04-29-2020, 10:18 PM   #8
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Pretty good this go.
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Old 04-29-2020, 10:38 PM   #9
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Leave you in critical condition, I get to clickin and shove this stick through your guts
EMT pumpin ya chest like WinRAR, performing compressions before zipping you up

^ I thought this was fucking dope


Dope mag btw y'all did a good job
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Old 04-30-2020, 01:54 AM   #10
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That sinacog interview fantastic

@Neighbor I never knew you were so good at alliteration... Lol love it

Most fire thing I’m likely to read this week.

Shut it all down.

Dope mag guys
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Old 04-30-2020, 03:42 AM   #11
El Muffin
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dead @ sinacog = synagouge
@Barcotic
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Old 04-30-2020, 06:00 AM   #12
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Word good mag and funny as well
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Old 04-30-2020, 03:43 PM   #13
Neighbor
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Thanks, guys

A special thanks to @Sinacog & @Blue Bayou for their tireless effort in ensuring the future of text stays bright
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Old 04-30-2020, 04:22 PM   #14
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...........bah.
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Old 04-30-2020, 05:18 PM   #15
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Hope cog dies
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Old 04-30-2020, 07:46 PM   #16
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lol hetero here.
@Blue Bayou come on dawg
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Old 04-30-2020, 08:11 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slecht View Post
lol hetero here.
@Blue Bayou come on dawg
What happened?
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Old 05-01-2020, 01:14 AM   #18
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lol the mag
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Old 05-01-2020, 01:28 AM   #19
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Old 05-01-2020, 09:06 AM   #20
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I'm not following

Support the gay community
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