03-08-2020, 12:58 PM | #1 |
Everything's Connected
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Niagara Falls, Canada
Posts: 999
Battle Record: 19-8
Champed - Guerrilla Writing League(2x)
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Rep Power: 10178702 |
Once Upon A Time In Cyber Space: A Bedtime Story
Okay okay... I'll read this to you ONE last time... But then you got to go night night, okay?
Do we have a deal? That's my girl... Once upon a time in cyber space there was a pawn who couldn't get it right This rook' progressed by biting and puffing his chess out every night He had a checkered past; he concealed a racist history to rule the field It was two-green to reveal, but I bet it read black like roulette wheels He followed the king from site to site and even archived his career Idle-eyes-in the mirror, he couldn't meet that criteria while crying his tears He studied the almighty for years, it was clear he was going backwards The king choked back his laughter at this ever growing disaster This storied kidnapper lived in a quiet lonely feeble castle Where good triumphs over evil faster than diapers holding fecal matter Yeah I'm talking to you, baby batter... And a loyal slave is just that Excuse my language but your dad was just a royal pain in my ass He acted inspired by the jack of all trades, his wordplay was whack and tired He even sucked on your pacifier so his stuff could "pass as fire" He admired me while mired in jealousy, he doesn't deserve a vets time He tried to drop knowledge but still couldn't get a word in edge-wise You were an unplanned surprise... he stuck to his guns to make it glue But was closed-off to the naked truth, this one's for you baby boo Slide over, I know you con-fused like criminal welders so scoot Just know my wordplay was NEVER so screwed as the stuff he wrote you He taught you to never wag your tongue, then called me a faggot... what? It's okay hun, my Kobe piece was the ONLY reason he dropped a mag last month But let's keep that between us, don't tell mom you'll just upset her Ask the imminent question, was that a diss or a simple love letter? Quite the contradiction, that text was what we call a 'non sequitur' It was all nonsense but hold on a sec, that meant it's nonsensical He started a guerrilla writing league but didn't consider the options It was instantly awful, it could never work using pictures as topics Let me educate you on the man who won't listen to your college plans He abandons relation-ships for foreign land, he's a superficial person like Aquaman A super fish'll person, but he couldn't turn heroic in Marvel's hands Tell him his bars are bland and his lips will purse like female wallets, damn Don't blame yourself for not living up to his demands, he's in denial You were born on a kitchen floor but HE'S the one acting infantile Plastering jizz over black women's pics, no you didn't imagine it Now he's all goo goo gaga'in, but do you know who ya dadda is? I could spell it out quick, but he'll do it so slow U O debt I'm not the one to F over in text, I'm the UFO over his head Darling he'll leave you without a leg to stand on like computer tripods Your mom picked a joker who is quite odd like the suicide squad I showed him the ropes stringing him along like out of tune orchestras We could've even been bosom buddies if he didn't abuse the formula... He tried to walk before he crawled, picture a mad little hellish troll That wanted to overthrow my throne but lacked any self control He posted my name every month, I'm a soap opera to his stained mind Now watch him fall by the weigh-side like your overweight mom on hay rides He will stay gone with an alibi, he'll always be passed his prime That's why my lines are twice as good and only take half the time Can't pull the wool over your eyes, those blanket-statement's ain't topping me Talk about an awful read, it's Doctor Sleep versus the forgotten sheep I didn't need to "champ a league", I'm Tommaso Ciampa in mags he dropped It ain't that odd to see a great white shark eaten by the Megalodon (That's an awful monster) You take to your gene pool like a Stan to water You're his brand new daughter... the moral of the story: I AM your father I understand it's hard, but there's two certainties in life that can't be altered 1. A nursery rhyme can be doctored, and 2. Your dad is just cannon fodder He's expendable cuz he's nothing special, we can speak however we choose He used "aboot" lines TWICE, me thinks goody two shoes better re-boot I'll guide you through every walk of life, that way he won't have to defeat you What does selling jacuzzi's prove if that takes your self esteem too? Wherever the path may lead, pursue the wave like white flags he used You called it quits when that fag creeped you? Hashtag #MeToo Like Beetlejuice you can mention him 3 times but he's different every day Child support isn't paid, he's in need of capital like dead man's name I'm the cornerstone of foundations, he's a coroner stoned down in basements My body of work's a zombie nerve, he's in the morgue hoping to raise it Appendix removed? Please, he's just a pen prick getting horny I'm sending this to you in ascending order like the never ending story But it's bedtime so lay your head, this wasn't a letter it's a warning So sweet dreams little one... Everything will be better in the morning. Night night.
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..Passed the Present and Future.. |
03-08-2020, 02:12 PM | #2 |
consults Lloyd
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,075
Battle Record: 0-8
Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast
Rep Power: 39345600 |
Sounding like a megalomaniac out of his element.
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03-17-2020, 11:12 PM | #3 |
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,465
Battle Record: 33-18
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - AOWL Season 1
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Rep Power: 77606676 |
wowzers
a full length topical epic diss verse. this is something new for me i think. @Lars peep it out i think this should be getting some more views and comments. its kind of a ground-rumbling work and obviously a painstaking effort. it was like a chapter in history. i dont know what your dynamics have been throughout time, i didn't even know you guys had any static tbh. but damn.
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Zack Wicks for president |
03-17-2020, 11:13 PM | #4 |
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,465
Battle Record: 33-18
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 4
- Write Week V
- GWL Season 1
Rep Power: 77606676 |
i'll reserve this post to pick out some individual quotes but i am going to take some time to digest in its entirety for now.
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Zack Wicks for president |
03-18-2020, 12:05 AM | #5 |
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,783
Battle Record: 17-32
Rep Power: 52474188 |
Way too long for my taste but gotta give cred where credit is due, and I can tell you definitely put time and effort into perfecting this piece of art. Was worth it to read it through. Dope drop, I like how you tie in the story here and there to remind the reader that you're telling a story to a girl (another funny condescending detail starting off the piece to make it sting a bit more, lol) Condescending passive aggressiveness throughout with flow and great rhyme patterns and multis made it an entertaining drop, especially enjoyed these:
I didn't need to "champ a league", I'm Tommaso Ciampa in mags he dropped It ain't that odd to see a great white shark eaten by the Megalodon (That's an awful monster) You take to your gene pool like a Stan to water You're his brand new daughter... the moral of the story: I AM your father Solid drop. Verse of the month material right there.
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I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o Last edited by Objective; 03-18-2020 at 12:08 AM. |
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