Write Night I Finals: Pohfig Vs. NYCSPITZ [POHFIG WINS]

Spoken · 07-14-2013, 07:07 PM

TOPICAL KEYS TO GREATNESS

Welcome to the FINALS.

Here are the 5 topics you get to choose from..

Behemoth
Nightmare Phantom
Subsidiary Ledgers
Downward Spiral
Purpose of death...

Your choice of either topics

20 minutes to write 16 lines

G'Luck and make it dope

@pohfig @NYCSPITZ

NYCSPITZ · 07-14-2013, 07:24 PM

Purpose of death

Some stare into the abyss, preaching that God-worship tarnishes worth
others contend that deeds lead to Earthly karmic rebirths
but existential truths aren't swayed when garnished with words
Pyramid tomb ether flow- King Tut harnessed it first
neural connection personalities burn slow and melt at your death
But to John there's one consciousness which experiences itself in the flesh
His declaration of independence reads "the vices of men"
a liquor bottle constitution, that his trusty liver rightly amends
his mind's congress sways from vicious thug to knightly in trends...
between lucid lunacy lamps and the mightiest ken.
Existential opiate trip, merge politely with zen
slowing down the dying force his lungs slightly expend
Dark angels descend and surround him, tightly in tens
until his father passes by and sees the plight of a friend
"That would have been the end, son" but John's spright in defense:
Death gods seem more exciting than the whitest events

.

Pent uP · 07-14-2013, 07:27 PM

He'll....

Eat you alive while beating your child
Snarl at your dog while it pee's in the wild
Causing it to all but twitch and piss on its own leg
He could pull your strings - or pick at your omens
-Viciously show them until you faint from loss of blood
Then reawaken you and make you double-cross your love.
But he's never there - just in your head with a threaded stare
Bolting up to all your dreaded scares
When getting air as a break - he can grasp you all he wants
by making you change thoughts and flash you in a taunt
You can rub your eyes, and clean off the glasses with the fog
or tell yourself that the paranoia is from the massive stash of pot
He's more than that - a piece of you that torments back
He'll take a past incident and mold it with a forward flash.
He's the people and things you've damaged and truly attacked
He's your worst nightmare - a phantom of you in the past

Spoken · 07-14-2013, 07:52 PM

@NYCSPITZ this was great the rhyme scheme was on point and some nice metaphors exposed from an angle that usually is played but here was quite refreshing on the takes you had chosen. The content tho at times I felt to be a little over zealous and convey from the diction you were aiming for... But overall fucking awesome read
@pohfig it has been a great deliver to read such work from you recently and this was a prime example of such ease and simplicity yet when worded precise and with a vibe and delivery very catching it just moves with one motion. Heavy meaning and such a stron message!!

Mvgt: Pohfig... Was just as a whole superb clean and crisp both did fucking awesome and I appreciate the work put in...

Thank you guys

07-14-2013, 09:18 PM

Vote pohfig

Coup · 07-14-2013, 09:55 PM

v/pofig

Spoken · 07-15-2013, 12:12 AM

UPPP
@Rawn MacDon @SiK @Sharp Nine care to place votes??

07-15-2013, 02:00 AM

nyc - pretty dope verse, some nice alliertation, kinda lost me with the whole gospel of john, not me as much as my interest, i just wasn't crazy about the content tbh, and ur word choice isn't where it typically is, prolly cuz of the key

pohfig- much cleaner verse, the start was dope, and so was the conclusion, the middle wasn't bad but did kinda dull out at a point, but it was enough to win imo

v/pohfig

next time the topic for finals shouldnt b option based imo, bc honestly i liked pohfigs topic better then nyc, and the leway given with topical choice can affect the voters preference, just something to keep in mind,

VividEnds · 07-15-2013, 03:04 AM

Close battle

Wack multi topic shit

Pohfig took it for me by a decent margin

Spoken · 07-15-2013, 03:57 AM

@Knucklehead @Meth please accomp

07-14-2013, 07:07 PM	#1
Spoken ...DA GAWD... Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,355 Battle Record: 13-34 Rep Power: 5860410	Write Night I Finals: Pohfig Vs. NYCSPITZ [POHFIG WINS] TOPICAL KEYS TO GREATNESS Welcome to the FINALS. Here are the 5 topics you get to choose from.. Behemoth Nightmare Phantom Subsidiary Ledgers Downward Spiral Purpose of death... Your choice of either topics 20 minutes to write 16 lines G'Luck and make it dope @pohfig @NYCSPITZ __________________ WP Po'ethics Last edited by Spoken; 07-14-2013 at 07:12 PM.

07-14-2013, 07:24 PM	#2
NYCSPITZ SYRACUSE Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,033 Battle Record: 31-37 Champed - Write Night II - Alias Topical Tournament Rep Power: 4743544	Purpose of death Some stare into the abyss, preaching that God-worship tarnishes worth others contend that deeds lead to Earthly karmic rebirths but existential truths aren't swayed when garnished with words Pyramid tomb ether flow- King Tut harnessed it first neural connection personalities burn slow and melt at your death But to John there's one consciousness which experiences itself in the flesh His declaration of independence reads "the vices of men" a liquor bottle constitution, that his trusty liver rightly amends his mind's congress sways from vicious thug to knightly in trends... between lucid lunacy lamps and the mightiest ken. Existential opiate trip, merge politely with zen slowing down the dying force his lungs slightly expend Dark angels descend and surround him, tightly in tens until his father passes by and sees the plight of a friend "That would have been the end, son" but John's spright in defense: Death gods seem more exciting than the whitest events . Last edited by NYCSPITZ; 07-14-2013 at 07:28 PM.

07-14-2013, 07:52 PM	#4
Spoken ...DA GAWD... Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,355 Battle Record: 13-34 Rep Power: 5860410	@NYCSPITZ this was great the rhyme scheme was on point and some nice metaphors exposed from an angle that usually is played but here was quite refreshing on the takes you had chosen. The content tho at times I felt to be a little over zealous and convey from the diction you were aiming for... But overall fucking awesome read @pohfig it has been a great deliver to read such work from you recently and this was a prime example of such ease and simplicity yet when worded precise and with a vibe and delivery very catching it just moves with one motion. Heavy meaning and such a stron message!! Mvgt: Pohfig... Was just as a whole superb clean and crisp both did fucking awesome and I appreciate the work put in... Thank you guys __________________ WP Po'ethics

07-14-2013, 09:55 PM	#6
Coup Don't believe the hype Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 572 Battle Record: 4-5 Rep Power: 0	v/pofig __________________ What is public must be legit, fit for average consumption, don't forget. What is private is handled by pirates, prying loose profits from prosthetics. To tell the difference between: first remain unseen with a steady breath and hope, then listen to the cracks in the wall with a stethoscope.

07-15-2013, 12:12 AM	#7
Spoken ...DA GAWD... Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,355 Battle Record: 13-34 Rep Power: 5860410	UPPP @Rawn MacDon @SiK @Sharp Nine care to place votes?? __________________ WP Po'ethics

07-14-2013, 07:27 PM	#3
Pent uP Robin Williams of Fallen Victims Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 1,502 Battle Record: 25-11 Accomplishments - NC Hall of Fame Champed - Netcees Writers League (2x) - NWL Season 1 - Write Night I - Art of Writing League (2x) - Write Week IV Rep Power: 6862273	He'll.... Eat you alive while beating your child Snarl at your dog while it pee's in the wild Causing it to all but twitch and piss on its own leg He could pull your strings - or pick at your omens -Viciously show them until you faint from loss of blood Then reawaken you and make you double-cross your love. But he's never there - just in your head with a threaded stare Bolting up to all your dreaded scares When getting air as a break - he can grasp you all he wants by making you change thoughts and flash you in a taunt You can rub your eyes, and clean off the glasses with the fog or tell yourself that the paranoia is from the massive stash of pot He's more than that - a piece of you that torments back He'll take a past incident and mold it with a forward flash. He's the people and things you've damaged and truly attacked He's your worst nightmare - a phantom of you in the past

07-15-2013, 02:00 AM	#8
Rawn M.D. Guest Posts: n/a	nyc - pretty dope verse, some nice alliertation, kinda lost me with the whole gospel of john, not me as much as my interest, i just wasn't crazy about the content tbh, and ur word choice isn't where it typically is, prolly cuz of the key pohfig- much cleaner verse, the start was dope, and so was the conclusion, the middle wasn't bad but did kinda dull out at a point, but it was enough to win imo v/pohfig next time the topic for finals shouldnt b option based imo, bc honestly i liked pohfigs topic better then nyc, and the leway given with topical choice can affect the voters preference, just something to keep in mind,

07-15-2013, 03:04 AM	#9
VividEnds Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 226 Rep Power: 0	Close battle Wack multi topic shit Pohfig took it for me by a decent margin __________________ no matter what side you see it's only one side ______________________________ __________________ _________ _____ ___ _

07-15-2013, 03:57 AM	#10
Spoken ...DA GAWD... Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,355 Battle Record: 13-34 Rep Power: 5860410	@Knucklehead @Meth please accomp __________________ WP Po'ethics