07-14-2013, 06:22 PM | #1 |
...DA GAWD...
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Write Night I: Storyteller Vs. Pohfig - [POHFIG WINS]
TOPICAL KEYS TO GREATNESS Welcome to the 2nd round. Here are the 5 topics you well get to choose from.. Branded Confinement Sterling Silver The last of Youth Summoning of blue skies Incarnation Your choice of either topics 15 minutes to write 10 lines G'Luck and make it dope @pohfig
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WP Po'ethics |
07-14-2013, 06:31 PM | #2 |
...DA GAWD...
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Sterling Silver
Patience aroused- waiting for a purpose in life, Symbolic clouds shroud every emotion of right. Tears fade over hills to fill overs that talk, Masking the way I feel about being who I am not. Worried for death, awaits my glory to fail, Losing sight at best as I feel I'm writing my story thru braille. Contingent alignments driving my mind off a cliff, Galactic surprises with every thought solar eclipsed. Made it to the sun rise for the moment of life, Everyone in sight- on one knee "would u do me the honor of being my wife" . . .
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WP Po'ethics |
07-14-2013, 06:33 PM | #3 |
Robin Williams of Fallen Victims
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,502
Battle Record: 25-11
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Last of youth
Generation X - the last before playstation sex Now all I see is kids in the sun thinking it makes them vexed We need an age reset - before we cant determine the age of men From the age of kids hiding in digital matrixes What happened to pick up games of hoops in sun rays Going out with a girl and sharing a scoop of sundays Hearing a new song and getting foot loose in one way Socialisms wont invigor the youth to come play When theyre brainwashed to believe technology is blasting the truth So the past is removed from past times and we've seen the last of the youth |
07-14-2013, 06:47 PM | #4 |
SYRACUSE
Join Date: Jan 2013
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dope battle. Storyteller I liked your rhyme, flow was tight and it had a nice twist, but pohfig's was executed superbly here and it conveyed relevant content in a dope way. Kids like each other on facebook now to get their kicks instead of actually hanging. Smh. Dope battle.
v/ pohfig |
07-14-2013, 06:49 PM | #5 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 184
Battle Record: 4-13
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V;Pohfig
Felt his flow a little bit more, both were on point with imagery, but being it was a freestyle done real quick, i'ma have to give it to pohfig because his wording felt more polished. Story teller had some nice shit too, but pohfig had some better rhyme schemes which stood out to me for him to take the win. From the age of kids hiding in digital matrixes What happened to pick up games of hoops in sun rays Going out with a girl and sharing a scoop of sundays Hearing a new song and getting foot loose in one way Socialisms wont invigor the youth to come play ^^that portion stood out the most to me. Nice job to both. |
07-14-2013, 06:56 PM | #6 | |
Don't believe the hype
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 572
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v pofish
while I liked story's inner monologue it was just statements and not much to wrap around the mind, I was looking for instances in time to convey those statements...fish came with a concept of technologies swallowing up the youth and the bigger questions with a decent resolution to the questions and issues he rose...though this line was against his concept Quote:
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