I like to get drunk, watch scary movies, then try to write

Just Write · 02-10-2014, 11:10 AM

So last night i had a horror movie marathon with my roomate and her two friends, a shot for every death.... fuckin awesome game

Hi my name is christopher and im six terms from graduating college. A theatrics major; or surveyor the way ive been obtaining my knowledge, Ive seen every action flick, but i think horror's my favorite. I just adore gore, especially if the storyline's a reality basis. From Lecter to kruger, i love playing insane, crazy or goofy. So I act as if i'm the main character portrayed in the movie, I let it consume me til i lose my grasp on what reality is. And sometimes i wonder if the real me actually exists. So i guess im classified as schitzophrenic. ( i don't think it's legit) But hey, they give me all these free drugs, so naturally i go with it. I remember this ocean flick where all these guys robbed a casino, So one day me n' my boy geno put on some masks and acted it out down in Reno. Sure it wasn't the same but every story is different, Mine had a lot more death but i'll spare you gorey specifics. i tortured some bitches with a chainsaw out in the planes of texas, Then tried to go hannibal and cannibalize their brains for breakfast. Tbh the taste wasn't pleasent, so i tried to tie their remains together, My own human centipede... but the corpses rotted away & eventually frayed & tethered. It was funny, the way they tried to pray together as if that would save em. I laughed and said i'd be right back & returned with a bat in the mask of jason. Sometimes i act abrasive, but its only cause i love my job, Next week ill rent ten movies where the subject's the mob. Al Capone's fuckin' a god! Guns, drugs and the bloodiest plot. Maybe on the way through ill cop a white suit from a hollywood lot. Break in a side door with a pry bar, by far this will be the easiest role to play, i don't even have to try hard. Look out for me, im gunna be a bright star! Name on billboards where the lights are, sounds nice huh?

dead man · 02-10-2014, 12:57 PM

I just adore gore, especially if the storyline's a reality basis. From Lecter to kruger, i love playing insane, crazy or goofy. So I act as if i'm the main character portrayed in the movie, I let it consume me til i lose my grasp on what reality is. And sometimes i wonder if the real me actually exists.

Dope

You should do these more often. Try romantic comedies next. Then Owen Wilson films with dogs.

Aesthetic · 02-10-2014, 03:22 PM

Didn't eve know what was going on until the 4th line in.. I liked it. Very fun read up until u start talking about killing people. You didn't build up your first victim or your motivation for crime. Shoulda really whent in depth on the psychology. It's a shame you didn't, really fucking loved this though.

Mind doing me a favor and peeping my shit http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=51757

H4ZE · 02-10-2014, 09:26 PM

I thought this was pretty dope. Dont really have much to say except fix the structure. Here ill give an example of a good structure.

Hi my name is christopher and im six terms from graduating college.
A theatrics major; or surveyor the way ive been obtaining my knowledge,
Ive seen every action flick, but i think horror's my favorite.
I just adore gore, especially if the storyline's a reality basis.

The structure will make it easier for us to read the piece and find the flow.
Other than that, dope shit.
Keep writing and stay blessed.

Just Write · 02-10-2014, 09:42 PM

That's what comma's and period's are for, but thanks for the advice. I will definitely try to correct my horrible structure. Bless you too

Natural · 02-11-2014, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by H4ZE

I thought this was pretty dope. Dont really have much to say except fix the structure. Here ill give an example of a good structure.

Hi my name is christopher and im six terms from graduating college.
A theatrics major; or surveyor the way ive been obtaining my knowledge,
Ive seen every action flick, but i think horror's my favorite.
I just adore gore, especially if the storyline's a reality basis.

The structure will make it easier for us to read the piece and find the flow.
Other than that, dope shit.
Keep writing and stay blessed.

You're example of proper structure is ironically poor. You're example lines are uneven, though I am sure he understood what you were trying to tell him. Just Write doesn't need the structure tip, just a fyi. Although I am sure the sentiment is acknowledged.

H4ZE · 02-11-2014, 01:03 AM

I was just showing him how to make his lines more presentable. I just took his first 4 lines and did that to them. No one wants to read a wall of text.

Natural · 02-11-2014, 01:05 AM

I thought this was cool. I am not personally big on paragraph form, but I have played with the structure a time or two. It is refreshing in the sense that ya trying something different.
I think it is ALWAYS a good thing to try something different as far as writing is concerned.
As far as the technical aspect to this drop, it had a couple very very minor hiccups...
Nothing real noteworthy. My favorite portion was probably the "I wonder if the real me exists" portion..
It was an entertaining read, and I'll leave you with that.

fresh · 02-11-2014, 08:32 AM

Dude you gotta clean up the structure its hard as fuck to read that shit. Anyways, not a bad read (other than the run on lines). Rhyme scheme was iight nothing crazy, Flow seemed to be decent. The story was wack as fuck though, theres no rhyme or reason just like you wanted to try killing people so you did. I duno, kinda makes for a boring plot. Some twists in the plot or some more complexity would have been less mind numbing. All in all though, it wasn't bad at all, just a few minor tweaks and it would be dope af.

02-10-2014, 11:10 AM	#1
Just Write Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,709 Battle Record: 9-12 Rep Power: 4997613	I like to get drunk, watch scary movies, then try to write So last night i had a horror movie marathon with my roomate and her two friends, a shot for every death.... fuckin awesome game Hi my name is christopher and im six terms from graduating college. A theatrics major; or surveyor the way ive been obtaining my knowledge, Ive seen every action flick, but i think horror's my favorite. I just adore gore, especially if the storyline's a reality basis. From Lecter to kruger, i love playing insane, crazy or goofy. So I act as if i'm the main character portrayed in the movie, I let it consume me til i lose my grasp on what reality is. And sometimes i wonder if the real me actually exists. So i guess im classified as schitzophrenic. ( i don't think it's legit) But hey, they give me all these free drugs, so naturally i go with it. I remember this ocean flick where all these guys robbed a casino, So one day me n' my boy geno put on some masks and acted it out down in Reno. Sure it wasn't the same but every story is different, Mine had a lot more death but i'll spare you gorey specifics. i tortured some bitches with a chainsaw out in the planes of texas, Then tried to go hannibal and cannibalize their brains for breakfast. Tbh the taste wasn't pleasent, so i tried to tie their remains together, My own human centipede... but the corpses rotted away & eventually frayed & tethered. It was funny, the way they tried to pray together as if that would save em. I laughed and said i'd be right back & returned with a bat in the mask of jason. Sometimes i act abrasive, but its only cause i love my job, Next week ill rent ten movies where the subject's the mob. Al Capone's fuckin' a god! Guns, drugs and the bloodiest plot. Maybe on the way through ill cop a white suit from a hollywood lot. Break in a side door with a pry bar, by far this will be the easiest role to play, i don't even have to try hard. Look out for me, im gunna be a bright star! Name on billboards where the lights are, sounds nice huh? __________________

02-10-2014, 12:57 PM	#2
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,467 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606676	I just adore gore, especially if the storyline's a reality basis. From Lecter to kruger, i love playing insane, crazy or goofy. So I act as if i'm the main character portrayed in the movie, I let it consume me til i lose my grasp on what reality is. And sometimes i wonder if the real me actually exists. Dope You should do these more often. Try romantic comedies next. Then Owen Wilson films with dogs. __________________ Zack Wicks for president

02-10-2014, 09:42 PM	#5
Just Write Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,709 Battle Record: 9-12 Rep Power: 4997613	That's what comma's and period's are for, but thanks for the advice. I will definitely try to correct my horrible structure. Bless you too __________________

02-10-2014, 03:22 PM	#3
Aesthetic Pimp Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: N/W Posts: 1,069 Battle Record: 1-12 Rep Power: 0	Didn't eve know what was going on until the 4th line in.. I liked it. Very fun read up until u start talking about killing people. You didn't build up your first victim or your motivation for crime. Shoulda really whent in depth on the psychology. It's a shame you didn't, really fucking loved this though. Mind doing me a favor and peeping my shit http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=51757

02-10-2014, 09:26 PM	#4
H4ZE Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Florida Posts: 77 Battle Record: 1-2 Rep Power: 0	I thought this was pretty dope. Dont really have much to say except fix the structure. Here ill give an example of a good structure. Hi my name is christopher and im six terms from graduating college. A theatrics major; or surveyor the way ive been obtaining my knowledge, Ive seen every action flick, but i think horror's my favorite. I just adore gore, especially if the storyline's a reality basis. The structure will make it easier for us to read the piece and find the flow. Other than that, dope shit. Keep writing and stay blessed.

02-11-2014, 01:03 AM	#7
H4ZE Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Florida Posts: 77 Battle Record: 1-2 Rep Power: 0	I was just showing him how to make his lines more presentable. I just took his first 4 lines and did that to them. No one wants to read a wall of text.

02-11-2014, 01:05 AM	#8
Natural Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 691 Rep Power: 0	I thought this was cool. I am not personally big on paragraph form, but I have played with the structure a time or two. It is refreshing in the sense that ya trying something different. I think it is ALWAYS a good thing to try something different as far as writing is concerned. As far as the technical aspect to this drop, it had a couple very very minor hiccups... Nothing real noteworthy. My favorite portion was probably the "I wonder if the real me exists" portion.. It was an entertaining read, and I'll leave you with that.

02-11-2014, 08:32 AM	#9
fresh Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 302 Battle Record: 0-4 Rep Power: 0	Dude you gotta clean up the structure its hard as fuck to read that shit. Anyways, not a bad read (other than the run on lines). Rhyme scheme was iight nothing crazy, Flow seemed to be decent. The story was wack as fuck though, theres no rhyme or reason just like you wanted to try killing people so you did. I duno, kinda makes for a boring plot. Some twists in the plot or some more complexity would have been less mind numbing. All in all though, it wasn't bad at all, just a few minor tweaks and it would be dope af.