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Old 06-27-2013, 08:53 AM   #1
Dove Dozer
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Default rhyme word weightlifting.. see me flex.

You best keep your distance.. im busy fightin with mics
Im shinin bright like lights at night when i write,
Insight with words so deep they slice you knives,
Dont blame me for being nicer than tight, you like that im white?
I cant help... being this type, i was born with this gift.
Im torn, so just to inform you get scorned when I spit.
Ive got horns cause im sick, and im bound to rip you to pieces
Spit with uniqueness lets hit the street and see you defeat this.
Im playing this beat quick, and you think me stayings a secret?
Fuck that, ill speak unique the streets is deep, its out in the open
And many emcees layin face first floatin in the ocean chokin,
flowless in the mainstream cause they cant bring what is potent..
Their bars are lightweight, needing some content in they rhymes.
But they fly off and end up bleedin from nonsense in they lines.
Im all spent when i shine, cause im busy livin this shit..
Puttin FedEx out of business, cause my delivery's quick...
Consider me slick, and you still cant get rid of me bitch..
I drop flames and stop your shine, i rhyme with an eclipse..
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Old 06-27-2013, 02:47 PM   #2
Coup
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Default

Quote:
Im playing this beat quick, and you think me stayings a secret?
Fuck that, ill speak unique the streets is deep, its out in the open
And many emcees layin face first floatin in the ocean chokin,
flowless in the mainstream cause they cant bring what is potent..
my*

this was dope man...the metaphors were mad relevant, some what fresh and delivered well with a mental picture to illustrate a point abstractly. well done.

Instead of potent, you should have used an ocean/mainstream word to really glue the concept donw more...

Like

They can't sink what is current...

then you go and rhyme the next line around that...just a thought.
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Old 06-27-2013, 04:10 PM   #3
Just Write
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Ive got horns cause im sick, and im bound to rip you to pieces
Spit with uniqueness lets hit the street and see you defeat this.

that shit was cold brotha, this was a dope drop.. definitely fitting for an audio. props, good to see you writing more G. stay up
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Old 06-27-2013, 04:44 PM   #4
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bookmark'd + in depth feed after i eat this dead chicken
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Old 07-03-2013, 03:25 PM   #5
Dove Dozer
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Originally Posted by Split Eight View Post
bookmark'd + in depth feed after i eat this dead chicken
yo
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