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07-14-2013, 12:22 PM
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#1 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: I live in Florida
Posts: 4,706
Battle Record: 3-8
Rep Power: 55521416     |
Heartless
you are heartless
you not gonna find someone good as me you not gonna find someone nice as me don't understand why you treat me this way, I give you the everything you take my love for granted. you don't do the things you use do, you don't even show me love. lately I been feeling unappreciated We use to be lovers, where it go wrong? you were my soul, heart, everything, King, Best friend, Friend. you were all I had, I stayed with u even tho you treated me bad. moving on cuz I deserve better. |
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07-14-2013, 01:35 PM
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#2 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 226
Rep Power: 0   |
HOF
__________________
no matter what side you see it's only one side
______________________________ __________________ _________ _____ ___ _ |
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07-14-2013, 02:10 PM
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#3 |
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Don't believe the hype
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 572
Battle Record: 4-5
Rep Power: 0 |
some humble advice, when doing straight up poetry...try to explore the soul of the person or noun u be writing about to give depth to teh piece....you showed the symptoms but to cut in our minds we need to have u put personification on some object to show us...
not bad tho....keep droping
__________________
What is public must be legit, fit for average consumption, don't forget. What is private is handled by pirates, prying loose profits from prosthetics. To tell the difference between: first remain unseen with a steady breath and hope, then listen to the cracks in the wall with a stethoscope. |
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07-15-2013, 10:38 AM
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#4 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: I live in Florida
Posts: 4,706
Battle Record: 3-8
Rep Power: 55521416 |
Appreciate you guys reading this & thanks coup.
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