The Honest Day's Work

[EtH]

My wife stirs left and right as she sleeps on my arm,
Awoken, ignoring my attention seeking alarm,
A sharp ring that would sting even the hardest of hearing,
The snooze button an apple in the Garden of Eden,
My uniform rests on the dresser with the neatest folds,
Watching teleshopping while scoffing down my tea and toast,
No exactly a breakfast tailor made for kings,
My day starting even earlier than daylight’s is,
Drive, dragging behind me the heaviest eyes,
Park the car and clock in when I arrive,
The boxes are loaded, to the streets I head,
As the sun now begins to pick up its weary head,
Each package delivered by an ordered list,
As moisture lays itself down on the morning mist,
The road at this time; the most deserted of places,
Anticipating the masses which will tread on its faces,
Soon people appear, and the numbers will double,
So the road rests and waits for the hustle and bustle,
Work stands like a wall, when each minute elapses,
It starts representing another brick that collapses,
And when work is done, and when we’re going to bed,
We close our eyes knowing it’s going to start over again.

[Vulgar]

What's up Erebus? Haven't seen you in a long time. This was a nice write. Airy and full of interestingly assembled thoughts.

My wife stirs left and right as she sleeps on my arm,
Awoken, ignoring my attention seeking alarm,
^Cool idea.
A sharp ring that would sting even the hardest of hearing,
The snooze button an apple in the Garden of Eden,
^Nice..
My uniform rests on the dresser with the neatest folds,
Watching teleshopping while scoffing down my tea and toast,
No exactly a breakfast tailor made for kings,
My day starting even earlier than daylight’s is
^Slick.

I was satisfied with the content overall, it was a chill drop. Welcome back to the open mic section.. check this out if you have time: http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=8679 @EtH

Keep doing you

[EtH]

Thanks mate. Last time you seen me was the last time I wrote, so there's a lot of rust and lack of motivation that I'll be trying to knock off over the next week or two. Appreciate it mate. Drop links if you guys want me to return at and I'll get at everything.

[NYCSPITZ]

good shit my nigga. i like your portrayal of the negative view on commerce. I hope u understand that anyone can become rich tho homie . http://www.camilloloken.com/images/s...allace-D-W.pdf read that and PM me when u hit 5k/month w/ ur business...easily obtainable within 365 dayz!!!

[EtH]

NYC, I'm 100% in agreeance of that. I actually don't know why I ended it negatively. I was actually originally trying to put across a really serine and blissful feeling to early morning working, but it completely went in another direction. The new guy depressing style of writing is taking over me, so I need to get back in the original side of things.

[Geno]

Yo. This was a sick description of probably mostly every mans fucking morning. What a waste of life. Blah

This shit read real smooth to me though. Had some key lines I really enjoyed. Especially how you broke the alarm clock shit down in thhe beginning. That's was nice

Good posting

[CopyPat]

sup man. good piece. solid rhyming throughout. could easily be converted to audio the way u kept this rhythm easily. was true real life shit. im sure we all know what ur talking about so yeah its super relate-able for everyone. shit was solid. nothing crazy. but solid. post more hit me back with feed if possible thx