Free write w/ Vulgar

[Lecture]

Free safety, she prefered to play the field
clubs, drugs, child left at home
you know the usual deal
Social politics a republican within her peers
only mingled amongst the rich
six figure careers
a sheep in wolfs clothing, to cover her fears
for years mascara blanketed tears
it would appear she coveted assholes
& that pre-teen fantasy of love
was lost in a time capsule
took everything for granted she was a damsel of the scumbags
clothes left to dry on the banister, sandwiched between rum vats
A slum rat, or some cat, an amateur with no manners & a humpback
Quasimoto lousy phototaker, people impaired
she'd never been a part of a love triangle because she was a square
if people would stare, then that was there prerogative
because her relationships were basically throwaways... like a condom is
misunderstood in today's world - segregated against, like an Islamist is
This is just as honest is
even with the mentality to win
Eventually the top tier
still rolls off of the chin
The grim nightmare induced
nature of this world she'd succumb to
Back seats & black streets
childhood hopes would run through
Poisonous intentions with the desire
to only wreck and doubt love
Meaningless hotel rooms
part of her would never check out of
A little gullable was she
never taught things aren't as they seem
She bought into everything when
inconceivable men would sell her a dream
her lies wilted, no bye for a Chi mistress
if only she applied herself
as much as she applied lipstick
she might rinse herself of her sins, and soulless eyes
the holy guise of a dolomite, loneliness her sole demise
Coney Island poltergeist, clinging to the ghost
of a former abusive husband used to wringing at her throat
sing and bring it to a close to end her felony rues
exotic heartbreaker under vanilla sky like Penelope Cruz

[Sharp]

Cool read. Storytelling was definitely the strength of the first half, painted a picture nicely. Once it got to shorter lines (after islamist is) it got pretty dope

Poisonous intentions with the desire
to only wreck and doubt love
Meaningless hotel rooms
part of her would never check out of

Killer. Sums up the tone of the drop perfectly

her lies wilted, no bye for a Chi mistress
if only she applied herself
as much as she applied lipstick

Dope


Cool stuff guys. Really enjoyable read

[trap.]

Really well-written, especially whoever wrote the lines in the weird manner. Vivid imagery, which I always love.

[Spoken]

The imagery was spectacular in all honesty it was creative but to an extent where it was easy to grasp and appreciate rather than so or even most who just babble in alot o ideas and it construed a forced entry... But you guys execution here was splendid

[Coup]

fluid enjoyable read...the opening was staunch....who don't know a girl like this ? good job representing the sistas out there.

a sheep in wolfs clothing, to cover her fears
for years mascara blanketed tears
it would appear she coveted assholes
& that pre-teen fantasy of love
was lost in a time capsule
took everything for granted she was a damsel of the scumbags
clothes left to dry on the banister, sandwiched between rum vats
A slum rat, or some cat, an amateur with no manners & a humpback
Quasimoto lousy phototaker, people impaired
she'd never been a part of a love triangle because she was a square
if people would stare, then that was there prerogative
because her relationships were basically throwaways... like a condom is
misunderstood in today's world - segregated against, like an Islamist is

very nice

and

Back seats & black streets
childhood hopes would run through
Poisonous intentions with the desire
to only wreck and doubt love
Meaningless hotel rooms

I see sistas like this everyday.

[Lecture]

Appreciate the feedback guys.

Originally Posted by trap

whoever wrote the lines in the weird manner.

@trap what was the weird manner?

I agree with what pretty much everyone above.
This read really smoothly, and i truly enjoyed some of the word association that went down..ie: wolfs clothing/cover her fears, love triangle/square.
also some of those quick similies along with brief metas came off more effective in this structure then normally: a throwaway like a condom is, meaningless hotel rooms/never check out of
those were just some of the high notes to this in my eyes.
I did enjoy the concise nature of this, felt u both said a lot using very few words, which is dope to me.
Also the tone seemed authentic and genuine.
and when the ideas bled they did so very smoothly.

Nice post

[trap.]

Cutting lines in half.

[Lecture]

Oh. Gotcha.

#OCD

[dead man]

it would appear she coveted assholes
& that pre-teen fantasy of love
was lost in a time capsule

nice.

Quasimoto lousy phototaker, people impaired
she'd never been a part of a love triangle because she was a square

idk why but that was my favorite line. really one of my favorite in a while. every now and then something strikes me and it sticks, and i think this will be one of those

her lies wilted, no bye for a Chi mistress
if only she applied herself
as much as she applied lipstick

cut to the throat. idk if this is a reference to the city or not but represent JO

Coney Island poltergeist, clinging to the ghost
of a former abusive husband used to wringing at her throat

man for the tiny slices that vulgar had in this freewrite, you managed to produce some slickness.

this was a great exoskeleton of character development, the styles contrasted in a way that was interesting to read and never felt dragged out more than necessary. pacing was perfect. the collective story of altogether too many females.

stay up guys, thanks


1

[Lecture]

thnx