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07-15-2014, 02:20 AM
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#1 |
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living
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,467
Battle Record: 33-18
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 4
- Write Week V
- GWL Season 1
Rep Power: 77606676   |
go
butterfly knife into your jugular, choke
out a guttural note. black moth super rust in the spokes i wanted to know who you became after we ended off. you never called you're no muse. you're an episode. empress of the epilogue tentacles you cross like pentecostal depiction talk to me the way you talk to the children. with composition stop at jewel-osco when i walk to division buy you twenty truffles and a pasta with chicken brickyard manor, project building flatline college tradition web-registered for pottery for something to piss in jackets in the cubby. wearing sox in the kitchen milk-and-cookie midnight hour where monsters revisit its a mantra we live in. idiot. we're idioms alive raging towards machinery in systems of a rise symptomatic times, cold-sore lip sync every tune there's someone here. i only wish it was you.
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Zack Wicks for president |
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07-15-2014, 11:21 AM
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#2 |
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Kill.It.Nonstop
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 666
Battle Record: 3-3
Rep Power: 662198 |
you're no muse. you're an episode. empress of the epilogue
that line was crazy to me.... who style is nice on this...creative way of wording everything almost ghost face'ish ending was solid enjoyed the read my dude HoLLa |
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07-15-2014, 12:18 PM
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#3 |
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39 NS, lost in votes once
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 11,242
Battle Record: 32-40
Champed - Time to Kill X
- Write Week III
Rep Power: 84181449 |
This was dope bro.
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07-15-2014, 07:34 PM
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#4 |
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song genius
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 377
Rep Power: 0   |
you pronounce pasta, Paw, sta? its PAAA - stah
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ZOOM IN ON THAT ASS LIKE BINOCULARS |
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07-15-2014, 11:45 PM
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#5 | |
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obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599678  |
don't know why you keep this talent only on this website. This isn't the usual fanatical commentary, but your writing can be understood and grasped on any technical level there is, whether it be on a hip hop forum, a poetry outlet, a writing source, a newspaper. Anything. You could pose this as any form of writing and it would be appreciated by a lot of people. I used to have a huge cultivating mass based on many forms of writing I had, including poetry, and verses like these. I discarded it for personal issues, but wish I hadn't. Theres poets and writers out there that don't have a trinket of talent that some of us possess. This verse was quantitative and excessive in its little drops that pooled the readers mind with a connective ebb. Keep it up man, liked it. Also liked the subtle play of titles between you and Zomb. nice
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precision defender Quote:
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07-16-2014, 09:51 PM
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SOBER
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 13,052
Battle Record: 2-5
Champed - AOWL Season 2
Rep Power: 85899406 |
Cubs > White Sox
"brickyard manor, project building flatline college tradition web-registered for pottery for something to piss in" best sentences.
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If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me? |
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07-16-2014, 10:01 PM
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#7 |
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Nalyubuites
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 449
Battle Record: 1-2
Rep Power: 4465331 |
this was very nice. not trying to quote because I'm using my phone, but you had mny dope lines. The rhtm of the entire piece made me wanna nod to it. Did feel like a gritty poem at times but your wording was on point. Not a long verse but didn't end abruptly which shows you weren't forcing things. All in all a really refreshing read.
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07-16-2014, 11:27 PM
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#8 |
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living
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,467
Battle Record: 33-18
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 4
- Write Week V
- GWL Season 1
Rep Power: 77606676 |
you were on RF right? @Half Wit It
i used to fuck with yours and STRONGARMs work heavily. bug baby thx for your super seriousness it is rare and gemlike
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Zack Wicks for president |
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07-17-2014, 03:03 AM
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#9 |
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Steel Cut
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 5,073
Battle Record: 19-10
Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x)
Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV
- Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 79005425 |
you're no muse. you're an episode. empress of the epilogue
there's someone here. i only wish it was you. these hit hard on many levels. I echo baby's sentiment.
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You should be water |
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Linear Mode
