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Old 02-16-2018, 04:20 AM   #1
brokenhal0
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Default pinwheels

gravity got me weighed down i dont frown lets spin
give space circulation occultation of the light station

astral invasion im quick to put a incubus in incubation
incinerate the enslavment cavemen came from spaceship

hold it down till your flesh slips a message in the pinwheels
spin sales bails get the big bounce big belch shells spin out

triggered mouths think about the kinks you cant figure out
fit to bout wizard warlock you can all pop get your jaw rocked

sure shot for those who dont wanna see the ball drop
a crab in a small pot hallmark cards dipped in spice diamond

i keep rhyming so sheep keep climbing stop counting your sighing
robbing environments a lion lives in each bar lying kids you need hearts

i eat hearts apocalypto aztec calypso dionysus white widow
ice hiking invites from nice tit hoes i get those oaks and white willows

skeet in your wifes pillow when no ones home smell life mellow
significance attract a sly fiddle play high pitch die jello dyed yellow

bi pedal stride addidas god diesel nod higher tides flow firefly
tigerbite title fight titan rite satellite idolize the ionized acolyte

the kind the cattle size eve took the apple bite buy a bike
to trek the afterlife fanta sprite archtype make pussy fart right

coma you mad you lost coronas drinking a pabst blue im the flu chills
looks kill the cuckoo flew filled with new bills lady g stack the moon pills

Last edited by brokenhal0; 02-16-2018 at 04:43 AM.
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Old 02-17-2018, 10:23 AM   #2
big baby
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disliked this.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greed View Post
If mentioned in a discussion its who'd still use wordy lines and act all dope
Then again hes had this schtick so long he like bb da bb da bb thats all folks
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Old 02-17-2018, 12:53 PM   #3
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I surmise you enjoy trying your hand at various different styles? Interesting shtick no doubt. This style of yours however lacks tangibility. It's hard to connect with your words when I have no idea of their purpose. There are however, tiny shards of poetic debris that offer sharp glimpses into your unique brilliance. Keep pushing the pen.

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Old 02-19-2018, 11:20 PM   #4
Geno
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Ya. What activate said

For the most part i can fins meabing in your poats. This was toufg tho. I coulsnt maje sense of it. Guessing yit was a flex. Cool in that regard. Glad to have you bak
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Old 03-04-2018, 09:59 PM   #5
Eŋg
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i genuinely tried and get through this but then i realised you're only good for that mercurial rhyme-babble and i thought fuck it. i'm listening to petrichor, by ludovico einaudi, and i'm not about to let this shit ruin my vibe. but thanks for trying. i liked the spaces you used between couplets.
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Old 03-05-2018, 03:51 AM   #6
brokenhal0
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thanks weird asian guy
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Old 03-05-2018, 02:47 PM   #7
Nick James
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ur gettin better bro

sign up in the art of writin league n continue improvin competitively

ill get u the link if u need it get at me
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Old 03-05-2018, 04:46 PM   #8
Eŋg
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brokenhal0 View Post
thanks weird asian guy
i'm african.
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