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Old 07-24-2019, 07:04 PM   #1
Rawn MD
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Default The King

The crown be humongous
grew out like a fungus
at Everest's summit
there aint no where else to trust
the world is our oyster
words from my lawyer
if you stuck in that boiler
sweat it out, or else clam up
they lackin the roster
we practiced in posture
to passion and prosper
out for the stunt, on ramp up
This Atlas aint shruggin
relax in the struggle
anatomical structure
fashonied from fascia and muscle
The maxim is fuck em
An alchemist wonder
crafted from once was
gold transformed back to mans blood
A wrathful tough stomach
pushin max out a bucket
stained glass accustomed
sand castles fortress from damp mud
Piscal couldn't measure
squad move the pressure
hail to the emperor
who trumps cross hairs and fox hunts
the practicing Edmond
Dantes after Pompey
drinking ethereal bombey
amazed, but not flummoxed
Studied in Ancients
Minotaur in mazes
A mental of metal
prestige in degrees that dont rust
My Word is extortion
the works of which forks bend
asleep with a horse head
Greek Gold fleece silk sheets roll ups
Wont speak on a cordless
Rose feets and plush orchids
it bleeds n gets orphaned
then we meet when he grows up
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Last edited by Rawn MD; 07-24-2019 at 10:15 PM.
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Old 07-24-2019, 10:05 PM   #2
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Fire
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Old 07-25-2019, 12:08 AM   #3
Diablo
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The hands be humungous
they grab in abundance
while having the look of
bananas in bunches

roflz
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Old 07-25-2019, 12:24 AM   #4
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Default

it's a terrible book but you really missed the point of Ayn Rand's biggest work
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Old 07-25-2019, 05:01 AM   #5
Genocide
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This shit fire G. Aint lost a step tbr. I need to write some shit been way to long. But this was dope
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Old 07-30-2019, 12:16 AM   #6
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It reads like a poem in a playful way to me. You got AAABAAAB-set ups that makes its impact in terms of the latter in a interesting way. Your use of metaphors and similies sometimes goes overboard for me as it's hard to grasp what's really going on at times. After a couple reads I'm starting to see the pattern a bit clearer tho and it grows on me as a poetry-piece. I understand it all as you trying to visualize the burden of the crown and the motions of it all, and what he gotta go through in an abstract way which is dope, but I don't really get where you're bringing it towards the end. Who does who meet when who grows up?

Overall I enjoyed the read despite the fact that it could get a little bit confusing at times but interesting and dope in its own way nonetheless. Keep writing/dropping!
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Old 07-30-2019, 02:38 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Objective View Post
It reads like a poem in a playful way to me. You got AAABAAAB-set ups that makes its impact in terms of the latter in a interesting way. Your use of metaphors and similies sometimes goes overboard for me as it's hard to grasp what's really going on at times. After a couple reads I'm starting to see the pattern a bit clearer tho and it grows on me as a poetry-piece. I understand it all as you trying to visualize the burden of the crown and the motions of it all, and what he gotta go through in an abstract way which is dope, but I don't really get where you're bringing it towards the end. Who does who meet when who grows up?

Overall I enjoyed the read despite the fact that it could get a little bit confusing at times but interesting and dope in its own way nonetheless. Keep writing/dropping!
grows on me as a poetry @Pharaohs Army
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Old 07-30-2019, 03:07 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Diablo View Post
grows on me as a poetry @Pharaohs Army
What did I do?
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Old 07-31-2019, 05:03 PM   #9
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He was just pointing out the unintended multi.
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Old 08-06-2019, 01:06 AM   #10
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Better late than never, sorry my dude

'If you stuck in that boiler, sweat it out" A few good bars right around there, I like that start. Hot flow though. I will point out an instance when you went too heavy though. "Greek Gold fleece silk sheets roll ups". I'm saying though, it works, just to heavy to hold I guess. Other than that though, this verse moved rapidly and really didn't slow down enough to catch a breathe. My favorite section was
"hail to the emperor
who trumps cross hairs and fox hunts
the practicing Edmond
Dantes after Pompey
drinking ethereal bombay
amazed, but not flummoxed"

Because you hit on flow and flex, but the actual meaning holds true. A king that is too good to behold. I think that was the main premise. I enjoyed the read though my skunk. You actually killed some flow here. Good shit


I'm tagging you to vote semi-finals. Hopefully you write something else for me to repay
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