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Old 02-01-2019, 07:21 PM   #1
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Default Sinacog vs. Lars (Topical)

Topic -



Let's go 36 lines max..

Due in a few days..let's get it....

@Lars
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Old 02-01-2019, 08:15 PM   #2
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The Battle for the sun -

He sat in the castle; gracious as wine; King Nebuchadnezzar taste was divine
His fragrance was pride; elation with light; always summoning plight
He was king of all Babylon; his soldier's sang the cattle's song
For with each sharp sword; he had a Maverick's jaw
In the mist of war with Israel; Nebuchadnezzar was a ruler of rummage
If they came into his land; he'd take their jewls from their mouths; and suck the succulence
Every moon and sun was a battle; Mesopotamia had demons and kings
Yet Israel had the land of a fling, and God as their sing
Nebuchadnezzar's soldier's held Israel's soldier's as hostility's drawn
For with bows and arrows and swords flying through air; we sea darkness dawn
Night became day, day became night; Nebuchadnezzar had a advantage
When he pushes the soldier's back as wit' tactic; he would sink Israel like Atlantis
That's when a man of great courage; came out of the dismal
King David wielding a slingshot; would bring the sun back to Israel
Israel's men never sought to retreat; their prayers were heard by God
For with King David's vast skill; he'd snipe the king's soldier's like lightning rods
King Nebuchadnezzar's sin was cast out with the sun; Israel held discern for dark
For when King Nebuchadnezzar held the sun for brink; it was a burning star
Israel holds the sun for light; as they retreat; prior to the king's compel
They fought bravely; and conquered a demon in a land of hell
King David confronts King Nebuchadnezzar; in his hellish land
And shoots his slingshot at the star; saying 'give me my sun back'
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Old 02-02-2019, 04:15 AM   #3
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New Topic?

Or you can write to the cat picture..we can do a topical battle like that? Lol?
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Old 02-02-2019, 10:10 AM   #4
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Sharp wanted the cat picture as our topic

He selected it before you even made this thread tbh
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Old 02-02-2019, 10:58 AM   #5
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This is our concluded topic..we'll write to this and post soon..or something..lol..good luck!
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Old 02-02-2019, 03:18 PM   #6
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The Mouse and The Cat -

Once upon a time, there was a Cat and Mouse; in a crafty house
The cat and mouse played tricks on each other; but only the cat would dare arouse
For the cat did not let the mouse out of the hole in the wall; his soul was at halt
The mouse was frightened; he did not know what to do; he needed to turn his heart of coal to malt
If the mouse left the hole; he would be eaten; and ravaged with claws and teeth
So he stayed in his hole; with all his cheese; saying the cat better not copy me
The cat put his face and claw in the hole; this was a cat chase
The mouse did not let the cat in; as he threw a piece of cheese at the cat's face
The cat dared arouse; so the mouse responded; it's like the house was haunted
For the whole house had trails of the cat and mouse game; they taunted and daunted
The cat was not scared of the mouse; he wanted to eat the mouse for lunch
For the mouse tasted like cheese to the cat; he remembered when his tongue was drunk
One day while they were playing cat and mouse; the mouse went inside the hole
He decided to never come out; till' the cat left; that was his goal
The mouse not dare arouse; until the cat went outside to the neighborhood
The mouse reached his goal; and saved himself and his cheese for good
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Old 02-02-2019, 05:48 PM   #7
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Exclamation



Let’s stick to the facts;
I don’t know who you are
but I’ve an itch that needs scratching and you’re brown-nosing me hard.
Poking your smarmy snout all up in my business
while I show no regard for you pussy-whipped Pinkies.
I’ve been dusting off dingleberries in my own back yard
for way too long to be giving a lone rats arse.
If you’re so damn smart then you’ll quit while ahead
‘cause these old fangs sharp enough to rip you to shreds.
Don’t think that we’re friends just because we share a vicinity
you exist ‘cause I let you.
I dare you to disagree.
Beware of my gritted teeth.
Cat and mouse?
Hardly.
This is a tabby outsmarting a haggard house varmint.
You ran around marking your path on our carpet
while I sat and crouched, arching my back to pounce.
Snarling.
It had you downhearted at my reluctance to play
but the trap had now snarled you as I sprung into place!
You’re lucky I ate you alive.
The kill would have been more ruthless.
Just don’t bug me, okay?
I can’t stomach the taste of sore losers.
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Old 02-03-2019, 11:16 AM   #8
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@Sharp
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Old 02-03-2019, 12:32 PM   #9
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Excuse me breaking it down like a battle verse sometimes. It's what I know


Once upon a time, there was a Cat and Mouse; in a crafty house
The cat and mouse played tricks on each other; but only the cat would dare arouse
I'm honestly not sure what the phrase in either end rhyme means - crafty house and only the cat would dare arouse. I'm getting nursery rhyme vibes, but not coherent nursery rhyme vibes
For the cat did not let the mouse out of the hole in the wall; his soul was at halt
The mouse was frightened; he did not know what to do; he needed to turn his heart of coal to malt
again, I'm getting the gist of a story from the first half of lines but wtf do you mean soul at a halt and coal to malt. Like the grain?
If the mouse left the hole; he would be eaten; and ravaged with claws and teeth
So he stayed in his hole; with all his cheese; saying the cat better not copy me
The cat put his face and claw in the hole; this was a cat chase
The mouse did not let the cat in; as he threw a piece of cheese at the cat's face
I'm guessing this is the action? But it's not overly interesting
The cat dared arouse; so the mouse responded; it's like the house was haunted
For the whole house had trails of the cat and mouse game; they taunted and daunted
I hate this kind of double end rhyme in most scenarios. I kind of like the idea of the house being 'haunted' by trails from previous chases, though idk if it's the best way to describe it, it's solid imagery
The cat was not scared of the mouse; he wanted to eat the mouse for lunch
For the mouse tasted like cheese to the cat; he remembered when his tongue was drunk
One day while they were playing cat and mouse; the mouse went inside the hole
He decided to never come out; till' the cat left; that was his goal
The mouse not dare arouse; until the cat went outside to the neighborhood
The mouse reached his goal; and saved himself and his cheese for good
this strikes me as a really anticlimactic ending despite how little a climax there was. There's just... No more cat attacking mouse? And it ends when the cat goes outside? You know someone probably lets that cat back in right?

Overall, it seemed like you tried to tell a story, but didn't do it too well. Felt like a rhyme was more important than the lines themselves which led to some odd phrases. Too many ideas undeveloped and it kind of flowed like a wordy Dr Seuss thing.



Let’s stick to the facts;
I don’t know who you are
but I’ve an itch that needs scratching and you’re brown-nosing me hard.
like how this sets up everything as a clever take on the pic
Poking your smarmy snout all up in my business
while I show no regard for you pussy-whipped Pinkies.
I’ve been dusting off dingleberries in my own back yard
for way too long to be giving a lone rats arse.
If you’re so damn smart then you’ll quit while ahead
‘cause these old fangs sharp enough to rip you to shreds.
Don’t think that we’re friends just because we share a vicinity
you exist ‘cause I let you.
I dare you to disagree.
Beware of my gritted teeth.
Cat and mouse?
Hardly.
This is a tabby outsmarting a haggard house varmint.
You ran around marking your path on our carpet
while I sat and crouched, arching my back to pounce.
Snarling.
this is pretty well written, imo. Enjoyed the use of short lines to give emphasis to certain things and break up the reading. Almost makes you read it in your head in with a curt, cold, businesslike delivery
It had you downhearted at my reluctance to play
but the trap had now snarled you as I sprung into place!
You’re lucky I ate you alive.
The kill would have been more ruthless.

^Dope

Just don’t bug me, okay?
I can’t stomach the taste of sore losers.

Thought this was a pretty creative take on the topic and it read well.

Lars definitely had the better verse technically and imo a more interesting take on the pic

V/lars

btw, I don't have permissions in here, so I can't open this up
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Why does he say y’all then refer to sharp in the singular. This is because Sharp is the every man. The everyman that Incredible wants to let humiliate him and butt sex him.

Last edited by Sharp; 02-03-2019 at 02:10 PM.
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Old 02-03-2019, 03:06 PM   #10
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Tbh Sugmacog was kinda trash.
Lars came with some heat in some cases

V/Lars
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Old 02-07-2019, 11:49 PM   #11
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v. Lars.
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Old 06-26-2019, 05:14 PM   #12
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I dont understand if it's a topical battle or a battle with a topic. Topical to me would typically indicate a story or more prose-oriented piece typically not in relation to the opponent and focusing more on poetic aesthetic and less on competitive rhetoric. Lars did some stuff with his entry, but for the above reasons I'm gonna vote sin for his vocab, story telling and I guess for being more on topic, idk. Lars got a few votes so let's keep it interesting.

Vote - sin

Lars up 3-1
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Old 08-09-2019, 10:50 AM   #13
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Fuck...Diablo is Lars? Great lol..Our battle will go 87 - zip.
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Old 08-09-2019, 02:51 PM   #14
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Quote:
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Fuck...Diablo is Lars? Great lol..Our battle will go 87 - zip.
You've been here since 2013 and just learned this...?...god damn...the dog dick you suck on is smarter than you...smh...
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Old 08-09-2019, 05:54 PM   #15
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Lol...Like I have the time to give a fuck about everyones 28 different aliases nigga, I don't live on here like you bitch.
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Old 08-09-2019, 07:06 PM   #16
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...7 years...
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Old 08-10-2019, 03:50 AM   #17
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6...& just 'cause I joined back then doesn't mean I'm here daily, I may log in 40 times in a week then go on some hiatus for like a year...Gotta attend to my canines remember?
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