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Old 02-24-2018, 10:16 AM   #1
sraL
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Exclamation ZELPH vs OBJECTIVE - ZELPH WINS 7-5!




Waddup, NCG's!

President Lars presents an interwebz world first with an event comedically described as "The revenge porn of text," in HOT OR THOT 2018! The idea is essentially that of a picture battle tournament, but with a unique twist. This time round everyone has submitted pictures of their ex-loves to be mercilessly torn to shreds by their opponents. It's a win/win for the battlers, providing they don't still hold a torch for their former flames of course!

I have to salute everyone involved for daring to tread where countless others were too afraid. I've been good to my word on not sharing any pictures publicly here prior to battle threads going up. So for those who chose to take a leap of faith in forwarding them to me and supporting this innovative idea, CATCH DAT +REP!

The format runs as follows: It's a 16 man tournament, (Robreezy that includes you). Battlers will be private messaged with their opponents pictures they're going to insult. Please don't share these beforehand to keep the LULZ alive and help make this tourney all the funnier! If you haven't already submitted your pics, NOW is the time to do so. Failure to submit a picture will result in you being replaced by one of the many standbys I have on call right now. The tourney will move on in knockout fashion until a winner is crowned.

If you're here, it's because I trust you're good to your word. Anyone that fails to participate accordingly won't be accepted in any further tourneys The Pres chooses to run. Those who show up and show out will get priority over other entrants in any and all future events I choose to run, as always!

Rules:

10 lines min
20 lines max
Agree to match line limit with opponent
Check-ins are advised
DUE DATE: Next Saturday 5pm UK time
The mod teams decision is final on all shenanigans.

LETS MAKE THIS A CLASSIC!
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Old 02-24-2018, 10:24 AM   #2
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Boy oh boy!

Match whoever drops first bro


EDIT: 20 ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!

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Old 02-25-2018, 01:47 PM   #3
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Checking in. I'm going for 20 @Hearder Hearder, want to have some fun with this since it's only one of the very few times I'm doing battles and this style of format. Might not get this opportunity again, lol.

Edit: got a PM asking me to remove some lines to match my opponent. Disqualify me as you see fit @sraL. You were right, I aim to have fun over winning and this is an event I don't see happening again so I don't really feel like cheaping out on the limit along with the possibility of feedback if I want to join more battles in the future. When my opponent didn't agree with 20 and went with 12, I went for 16. I'm not removing anything tho. I'm willing to let him add 4 lines, let it stay as it is or take the L. I wrote some shit, I showed and I will vote regardless what happens next. If that ain't enough then I'll take any punishment for it. The way I see it we never really agreed on a line limit so this ones up for you to decide what to do next on. I didn't even realize it was THAT important to match line lengths, lol.
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Old 02-28-2018, 03:47 PM   #4
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She joined a beastiality dating site, met a smod she trusted w/ her entire life
Sure they were tight.. till that camel took advantage of a member - then left w/ a smile like Allen Knight
Who the hell wheres winter clothes in the desert, gotdamn she not clever
But I’ll dress her up better, the next strap around her waist won’t be a sweater
This girl is cap, every light skinned creature in the pic dun dismantled that
No hydration kit.. but she still managed to gulp down the whole camel pack
U’ve been the cuck type. U let monsters smash every type of way
It’s obv u had a hotwife.. she even rode camels in the sun the entire day
The pic mirrors our respective careers in text. Actually it's laughable
But u have one thing in common, both yall standed in the shadow of an animal




2 pairs of shades at the same time, damn that hoes flossin
Cnt tell if she’s twice as blind, or just tryna unite sights like Joe Boston
She left u for Better. Now all u talk about is how u love & miss her
Not even I would kiss her, she’s Got a hairlip so bad she cud b my fuckin sister
And the kicker? Bitch went les after all the times yall had sex w/
Made a sharp turn to the other side. Look & peep the hand over hand method

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Old 03-03-2018, 02:11 AM   #5
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It's just a game to her like sociopathic brains prefer and it certainly ain't PG,
her personality's shitty, I'd slap her with the belt as well and exclaim that it's GG.
I don't hate cheap clothes and slick hoes but this? No, she's easy even for hoodrats,
a hit on the four gets an easy nine for the score and nods from pool cats.
This coked up broke slut rocking fake stuff or Zelph's been her sugar daddy doormat
just more wack for a hard to the core brat with a sore twat from store discount whore tacts.
Who would floor that dormant four kids with different fathers bored cat, Zelph did right to let go,
he saved himself from her gyns constant whining about the echo.



It isn't hard to pick facts when the doves flyin' away like: I wouldn't hit that
pile of more STDs than NCs combined history compiled on a 1 hour diss track.
Bitch is the slutty version of a shit pose, not loving that bellybutton pig nose,
altrustic shit show so cheap she's still wearing her hand me down kid-clothes.
But she took hand me downs a step further, she went full blown retarded,
Zelph knows it, even the hosting site thought she's too much of a Target.
A prostitute that's doomed to lose. Zelph, what does this screen prove to you:

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Old 03-03-2018, 05:11 PM   #6
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Zelph had..
Unite sights
Zelph lip.. Which was only funny cause you wrote it lol

Nothing else.landed up until those two lines then u closed weak.

The whole first part based on pic one was a miss. Wording was bad and punches aint land.

Objective had..
The cavernous pussy "echo" bar
Ncs std,'s bar
Hand me downs

The closer was a cool touch i guess. No real punch.


(That bitch sexy as fuck though, goddamn)

This one is hard to judge tbr. Not many landed punches thrown imo..

I got objective here with a little more solid attacks on the pic itself.

V/obj
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Old 03-03-2018, 06:10 PM   #7
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She joined a beastiality dating site, met a smod she trusted w/ her entire life
Sure they were tight.. till that camel took advantage of a member - then left w/ a smile like Allen Knight
(Pretty interesting but I don't like the association tied in with perceived salt to a moderator here? Idk .. Not my kind of angle)
Who the hell wheres winter clothes in the desert, gotdamn she not clever
But I’ll dress her up better, the next strap around her waist won’t be a sweater
(Nah)
This girl is cap, every light skinned creature in the pic dun dismantled that
No hydration kit.. but she still managed to gulp down the whole camel pack
(Ok)
U’ve been the cuck type. U let monsters smash every type of way
It’s obv u had a hotwife.. she even rode camels in the sun the entire day
(What lol this made me laugh idk why)
The pic mirrors our respective careers in text. Actually it's laughable
But u have one thing in common, both yall standed in the shadow of an animal
(Board association eh)
2 pairs of shades at the same time, damn that hoes flossin
Cnt tell if she’s twice as blind, or just tryna unite sights like Joe Boston
(Lol)
She left u for Better. Now all u talk about is how u love & miss her
Not even I would kiss her, she’s Got a hairlip so bad she cud b my fuckin sister
(Self diss eh)
And the kicker? Bitch went les after all the times yall had sex w/
Made a sharp turn to the other side. Look & peep the hand over hand method
(Eh )




It's just a game to her like sociopathic brains prefer and it certainly ain't PG,
her personality's shitty, I'd slap her with the belt as well and exclaim that it's GG.
(Gennady golvolkin or good game? Lol either way .. Nah)
I don't hate cheap clothes and slick hoes but this? No, she's easy even for hoodrats,
a hit on the four gets an easy nine for the score and nods from pool cats.
(Not super effective but clever)
This coked up broke slut rocking fake stuff or Zelph's been her sugar daddy doormat
just more wack for a hard to the core brat with a sore twat from store discount whore tacts.
(Nah . like the scheme but not feeling the punch)
Who would floor that dormant four kids with different fathers bored cat, Zelph did right to let go,
he saved himself from her gyns constant whining about the echo.
(Eh ok)
t isn't hard to pick facts when the doves flyin' away like: I wouldn't hit that
pile of more STDs than NCs combined history compiled on a 1 hour diss track.
(Ok)
Bitch is the slutty version of a shit pose, not loving that bellybutton pig nose,
altrustic shit show so cheap she's still wearing her hand me down kid-clothes.
(Lol cool lotb)
But she took hand me downs a step further, she went full blown retarded,
Zelph knows it, even the hosting site thought she's too much of a Target.
(Ok)
A prostitute that's doomed to lose. Zelph, what does this screen prove to you:

(I couldn't see all the material for the close)

Clooose

I think zelph had close to 2 quotes but the rest was up n extreme down .. Board associations that were a slight to other members n then self disses that I wasn't feeling . interesting verse tho

Obj had lotb n more ok lines but let me stress this is CLOSE

V/ OBJ
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Old 03-04-2018, 10:47 AM   #8
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Zelph: You started off slow here, picked it up with that 'next strap around her waist" and "in the shadow of an animal" lines though. Hotwife was a miss for me tbh. The hairlip line was funny and showed great self awareness on your part though, prob the most comedic line for me in truth.

Obj: You had the way better rhyme scheme here, not that it matters so much in text, but as you put an emphasis on that here it showed you doing "more" than your opponent and seeming to want it more. That said, if you're gonna have the schemes you're gonna also need to punch harder and clown the picture. Otherwise it's like a build up to nothing. That could cost you against stronger opposition here if you make it further. This is really tough actually, Zelph has the more lines I liked where Objective probably had the better VERSE overall but he wasn't really attacking the picture in a clowning fashion that i like (other than maybe the hand me down kid clothes line) so this is tough on me to be truthful but I'm gonna go against the grain here so far and say Zelph edges it for me on the strength of those lines i quoted from his verse. Personal preference I guess but I feel like those lines were the deciding factor here.
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Old 03-04-2018, 10:56 AM   #9
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Wasn't feeling much of FB's verse. Was uncreative, granted minimal ammo provided but still could have used what was given and been more creative and witty. OBJ had a decent flow and sacrificed punches for it, I feel. Either that or he's never battled before as far as non man poem battle. However, hit attempts just came off slightly better. And I mean slightly. Had FB utilized the picture more as far as coming up with witty concepts, I think he would have edged this...

I got OBJ, barely.
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Old 03-04-2018, 01:57 PM   #10
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I don't hate cheap clothes and slick hoes but this? No, she's easy even for hoodrats
a hit on the four gets an easy nine for the score and nods from pool cats.
It isn't hard to pick facts when the doves flyin' away like: I wouldn't hit that
pile of more STDs than NCs combined history compiled on a 1 hour diss track.
But she took hand me downs a step further, she went full blown retarded,
Zelph knows it, even the hosting site thought she's too much of a Target.

vs

The pic mirrors our respective careers in text. Actually it's laughable
But u have one thing in common, both yall standed in the shadow of an animal
2 pairs of shades at the same time, damn that hoes flossin
Cnt tell if she’s twice as blind, or just tryna unite sights like Joe Boston
She left u for Better. Now all u talk about is how u love & miss her
Not even I would kiss her, she’s Got a hairlip so bad she cud b my fuckin sister


another close one. Objective surprised me for sure and landed some good punches. zelph culda did more with the pic but even still he had sum shining points. I think rlly it comes down to the one thing thats glaring which is zelph had a traditional battle style setup which allowed his concepts to flourish and punches to land while objective was rlly just clownin n evn tho it provided sum laughs for sure I gotta vote zelph for a verse as a whole.

vote - zelph
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Old 03-05-2018, 05:21 AM   #11
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This is very close. Objective had a unique scheme w/ good flow. GG couldve been good....I didnt like your spin on it. Pool was ok w/ cool wording. You picked up IMO at std's & kids clothes. Closer was a cool idea but missed imo. Not a bad verse for a topical head. U had flow though so props bc it read smooth.

Zelph: Had a shaky start but picked up w/ strap and animal in shadow. The 2nd pic were better altho some wording was off the hairlip coulda been flipped much better. Closer got slept on imo maybe wording? Iono. I think you had ammo for sure imo.

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Old 03-05-2018, 11:43 AM   #12
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I think FB edged it. Obj done good and probably should enter more stuff. Z just had the crisper hits. I liked the clothes line frm OBJ and the unite the sights from Z. The shadow of an animal line was creative too. I got Z barely.
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Old 03-05-2018, 01:23 PM   #13
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Mvgt @Objective.
For battling had the joe boston line which i fhought was dope.


Obj didnt hv any standout bars but his verse came across more consistent w.decent bars to attack. I felt his verse more than for battling, personally.
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Old 03-05-2018, 04:15 PM   #14
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Admittedly some of the references in the battle was lost on me not being very active here. Still my vote, for whatever its worth, goes to FB. Close call but I think he was slighty more on point, shadow and sites landed nicely. Obj did a nice job too, tighter schemes perhaps, and some funny insults, still my vote stands.
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Old 03-05-2018, 07:46 PM   #15
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This was hard to vote on I was going to vote on it first but didn't. Zelph did not come very hard and Obj has a bit of a culture transition from topicals. I really liked reading Obj's verse but it wasn't exactly direct enough. There were some good parts that made me laugh but i would have enjoyed it more with a bit mor structure and harshness.

Zelph had decent material imo that he didn't fully capitalize on in a whole. There were def highlights, hairlip and strap were pretty good and I liked a couple others but the misses were crucial.

It's almost a draw in my mind but this is a tourney and I gotta lean towards Obj. It just read better to me, the only gripes i had were set in tradition and that's not what my votes are based on. Zelph could have won this pretty easily tho.
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Old 03-05-2018, 08:07 PM   #16
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Zelph taut
hot wife was lol
shadow of an animal wuld have ben fire if not for "standed", but it still hit regardless

other than that i was disappointed, u had sooo much ammo @Amen ur an idiot

Object
u had an above average flow & unique style, but tbh i wasnt feeling any of those concepts man.. w/ the exception of the kids clothes joint, i didnt even budge. keep at it tho

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surprised its so close
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Old 03-06-2018, 05:38 AM   #17
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@Jay Welsh @MMLP @brokenhal0, @Cashius, @Infinity Tha rellik, @uh-oh, @Urban Dialect GET YOUR VOTES IN PLZ!!!!
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Old 03-06-2018, 09:46 AM   #18
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Zelph- shadow of an animal, unite sites and hair lip where good. Strap was okay but the flip was a bit random. Up and down verse not a lot of clowning but some good use of pic angles with the ones that hit.

Obj- hand me down, std's were okay, and target was s decent flip. I thought you did alright for a topical head. Some decent use of pics but you could've gone in a bit more. Your style is more descriptive than punch focused( naturally being a topical writer) and that is my preference In a battle. You did some alright clowning tho.

With harder hits and a a style preference I've got zelph edging this. V/zelph
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