07-02-2017, 06:10 PM | #1 |
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Week VI: Adonis vs Mr. J [OPEN FOR VOTES]
Season 8 Verses are due Friday 11:59 PST. EXT 1/13 11:59 PST Voting ends Sunday 1/15 at 11:59 PST Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 wordsd [B]Voting on 3 battles is required.[/B Topic: @Adonis vs @Mr. J Goodluck! Goodluck! Last edited by Adonis; 07-11-2017 at 12:50 AM. |
07-04-2017, 04:18 AM | #2 |
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And the Lord said "let there be light"
And Adonis said "fuck off"
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07-06-2017, 12:52 AM | #3 |
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*Yoink*
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.....laugh....and the world laughs with you Last edited by Mr. J; 07-06-2017 at 03:32 PM. |
07-06-2017, 04:14 PM | #4 |
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Parallels, we are the same but different
There is no telling how we became so distant Worlds apart living in the coexisting timeline Taking steps back when I was hitting my stride. Melodies cloud my memory & then haunt me. Upon reflection we need more action, less apologies The battle to stay balanced has grown obvious How can one overthrow a whole metropolis? We must reproduce, reevaluate, & re-manufacture Now is the time, we are the lead benefactors. As society grows the wars will be unending. In their minds they're the ones who become threatening. Greed motivates power, the cycle continues With such an overabundance, time will be an issue. Diseases manufactured by inability of willpower Lives will crumble as those that once filled towers. Their foundation will be built around terror & hope. Misguided through their own errors in smoke... When the heirs are choked they wait to implode. While shock destroys everything they wanted to know. I will stand there waiting, watching their souls... Ready to guide them to where the deserved sleep unless they make the call.. 911. How may I help you.. Its an emergency..
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07-11-2017, 12:49 AM | #5 |
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~Tale of Death and Tech~
Born to young Earth, had to walk with no Uber Learned about loss and how the heart can be neutered Taught to not be so brutal ~Hapless-happiness~ You too can be a prosperous loser Death is in the margins, point blank... The dots are unusual Each synonym is sentient, it's intent has begun Romance is meant to be won, not lost in a posture that's slumped So if Tech is a bell that's been rung Then humanity must be a lisp where the cat's got your tongue Heavens a night shift, each customer's odd For if he believed the shit taught by a "God" His soul could have been bought and then lost Each thought created so hope wouldn't stop, Each punctuation a nail most couldn't affix to a cross I'll play devils advocate, come, burn a young witch But the twist...is...I Am GOD; Ironically, I'm a son of a bitch
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09-13-2017, 06:28 AM | #6 | |||
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I can't see the picture or topic if there even is one from this shitty work comp?
Fuck it though, while i'm here, may as well cast a vote up: Mr. J was largely on for me. I loved this line, mainly for its contrast between the two things: Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Adonis: Yours was less about the technical aspects and more the content for me. I liked the opening line about walk with no Uber LOL. Hapless happiness is a cool choice of words, it just felt out of place a little to me with the rest of the verse maybe? Cats got your tongue was a standout as a quoteable. I didn't really feel the "twist" if you want to call it that, it lacked something. Maybe development? I mean it was straight, but all happened a bit too quickly and didn't seem as pre-planned or thought out and given any flesh to the bones of it, where Mr J's had that advantage to it this time out. There you have it. I'm going with Mr. J.
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