a funny story in retrospect, but not at the time it happened

Badweather · 03-27-2014, 10:20 PM

I was thinking about this one time I was hungover in the kitchen, making breakfast for myself.

It was an omelet, actually.

I cook one side of it, flip it, and I'm getting all of my fixin's ready, and as I'm piling them on the cooked side

I SHARTED in my fucking pajamas

right then and there I realize

"yo..fuckin' YO, i can't just fucking leave this omelet like this.

my roommate is in the living room watching wendy williams. I'm midway through cooking a hearty breakfast, but I've got dripping loose stool clasped in my buttcrack. How I even managed to hold liquid between two solids is a whole 'nother story.

What do I do? Do I say fuck this omelet, try to waddle past my roommate and end up in a 3 minute long conversation about the real reason why i'm waddling? Or do I just man the fuck up and finish the omelet, slide that bitch in the microwave, and then waddle past?

I decided to go with the latter. It was a painful decision to make, but I did it.

Needless to say, it's hard to cook an omelet when I've got the "thousand yard stare," focusing on keeping most of the spill contained in a quivering butt crack. It was horrible.

But TODAY....I realized it's pretty funny in retrospect.

Once I went upstairs and cleaned up the back yard, I came back down and started eating.

Sure I was disgusted with myself, 'cause I literally made breakfast with shit in my pajamas, and the idea that maybe somehow I got shit in my omelet was a very real threat. Which led to thinking about the restaurant business and maybe I've had a meal prepared by a sweaty cook with shit in his pants too. But...

yeah...i made breakfast with dookie all in my shit before.

Ghost1 · 03-27-2014, 10:31 PM

U don't flip an omelette u caveman

Badweather · 03-27-2014, 10:40 PM

It's not an omelet if you didn't flip it, genius.

Jim Blaze · 03-27-2014, 10:49 PM

U fold it over

U don't cook it on both sides

Smh

Badweather · 03-27-2014, 10:54 PM

I cook one side, flip it, put the shit in the middle, let the other side cook, and then fold it over.

Badweather omelets are the best

Jim Blaze · 03-27-2014, 10:56 PM

Oscar omelette just turned over in his grave

Only half way tho

HAHAHA AMIRITE

03-27-2014, 10:20 PM	#1
Badweather Chillin' like FUCK!!! Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,855 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 0	a funny story in retrospect, but not at the time it happened I was thinking about this one time I was hungover in the kitchen, making breakfast for myself. It was an omelet, actually. I cook one side of it, flip it, and I'm getting all of my fixin's ready, and as I'm piling them on the cooked side I SHARTED in my fucking pajamas right then and there I realize "yo..fuckin' YO, i can't just fucking leave this omelet like this. my roommate is in the living room watching wendy williams. I'm midway through cooking a hearty breakfast, but I've got dripping loose stool clasped in my buttcrack. How I even managed to hold liquid between two solids is a whole 'nother story. What do I do? Do I say fuck this omelet, try to waddle past my roommate and end up in a 3 minute long conversation about the real reason why i'm waddling? Or do I just man the fuck up and finish the omelet, slide that bitch in the microwave, and then waddle past? I decided to go with the latter. It was a painful decision to make, but I did it. Needless to say, it's hard to cook an omelet when I've got the "thousand yard stare," focusing on keeping most of the spill contained in a quivering butt crack. It was horrible. But TODAY....I realized it's pretty funny in retrospect. Once I went upstairs and cleaned up the back yard, I came back down and started eating. Sure I was disgusted with myself, 'cause I literally made breakfast with shit in my pajamas, and the idea that maybe somehow I got shit in my omelet was a very real threat. Which led to thinking about the restaurant business and maybe I've had a meal prepared by a sweaty cook with shit in his pants too. But... yeah...i made breakfast with dookie all in my shit before. __________________ Chill Phil My rep hand is NOT WAY strong anymore. Last edited by Badweather; 03-27-2014 at 10:24 PM.

03-27-2014, 10:40 PM	#3
Badweather Chillin' like FUCK!!! Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,855 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 0	It's not an omelet if you didn't flip it, genius. __________________ Chill Phil My rep hand is NOT WAY strong anymore.

03-27-2014, 10:54 PM	#5
Badweather Chillin' like FUCK!!! Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,855 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 0	I cook one side, flip it, put the shit in the middle, let the other side cook, and then fold it over. Badweather omelets are the best __________________ Chill Phil My rep hand is NOT WAY strong anymore.

03-27-2014, 10:49 PM	#4
Jim Blaze Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 555 Rep Power: 2893098	U fold it over U don't cook it on both sides Smh

03-27-2014, 10:56 PM	#6
Jim Blaze Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 555 Rep Power: 2893098	Oscar omelette just turned over in his grave Only half way tho HAHAHA AMIRITE