ITT tell us about your day, only do it like bags

[Sharp]

ok bros

so last night was my one roommate's 21st n we had a little gathering at our apartment before midnight for him and i git paired with the stupidest fucker for pong. like the guy who got tall b4 every1 else in high schol n became the bball teams star player by defalt. since i aint played in over a year (respectable adults STAND UPP) i ask this mongoloid of a human for a quick refresher on how the island rule works... which he proceeds to answer in detail while reciting EVERY FUCKING RULE OF PONG... n im just like OKAY THANK YOU I THINK I GET IT... O NO I APPRECIATE THE REFRESHER BUT U KNO IVE PLAYED THIS BEFOR RIGHT?... OKAY NO UR RIGHT GOLIATH I DONT WANN LOSE EITHER JUST LET ME MISS THIS REAL FAST.... n we inevitably lose the first game but in the redemption round the fukcer tries to do a bounce shot because he didnt know hed get the ball.back if he makes 1... O NO ITS OKAY WE ALL FORGET SOMETIMES... LEMME JUST GET A FEW DRINKS IN ME SO I GET BETTER..so i drown my frustration in rum n coke and carry the team to a 3-3 record. then i pass out til 11 am cause all my profs are at some conference they 'strogly encouraged us to attend'...fuck that... i go to take my morning piss n find a wad of toilet paper and lysol on the sink n some cristed vomit around the toilte bowl n realize our poor boy didnt have th paper towles to claen it proerly. so i get dressed n walk folm my aparrtment to thi campus'' shitty grOcery store which is 1 room of overpriced snakcs, toiiletries and condoms cause i didnt feel like.driving to giant. its just me an some middle aged black man with a weary look in his eye that can only come from tryint o suport 3 kids byt working the shitty job selliNg $7 boxEs of frosted flaks to college kids, most of whom will go on to make more money in 2 years than his middle school diploma wIll for the rest of his life. since i dont know the store i cant find shit so i ask... EXCUSE ME... JAMAL? ROLLO? TYSON? WHOEVER U R???... YEAH, DO YOU HAVE ANY PAPER TOWERLS? OH RIGHT THERE IN THW HIDDEN CORNER OF THE ROOM? GOOD PLACEMENT... NO I UNDERSTAND THE SUOUP OF DTHE DAY NEEDS THE SPOTLIGHT AND GOD FORBID WE PUT THE PIZZA BAGELS EVEN FARTHER FROM THE DOOR... so i go to check out an hes puttin on uncle tom banter thatd make dlbs haert sing like... MAN YOU HAD SOME KINDA PARTY THE OTHER NITE N UR COMIN IN HERE FOR PAPER TO CLEANN IT UP???... n im like yeah haha... roomate's birthday n all... I SEE YOU KID... HAVE A NICE TIME???... yes we did... well thanks for asking abt my going-ons but ive gotta go study so i dont tirn into u... HAVE A NICE DAY YUNG BLOOD... so i get bck, throw my paper towels onn the kitchen counter and log into netcees to find some stupid bitch needs his password reset cause he gave it out like a retard :)

Um... Will return and attempt to read this later. I hope it's worth the read, @Sharp Nine lol.

[big baby]

ok bros i wAS LIKE YO

im saying tho

like ok a week aggo fuckin get a call frm m my estrnaged sister at 2am.... BITCH ITS FUCKONG 2AM IM PN NETCESS MAKIN A VIDOE MAG 4 MY BROZ & NEGLECTING MY FAMILY FOR WEBSITES LOLZ0RZ......anwyway the dumm bitch was like 'mustachio can u plz pay me bak the 659 dollers u owe me'... i pretend i was chinese and started asking her if she wuntTed pork fried rice with that or no... she said i kno its u mustachio stop playing around plz just pay me mY money stop hving saex with mustachia and hiring prosititutes.... IS AID BITCH DONT FUCKINA CALL MY PHONE AGAIN U BLACK DICK LOVING WHORE BAG FUCK U UR NOT EVEN MAH SISTA U NIGGER FUCKING SLUT SHIT CUNT I WUNDT EVENLET U BORROE MY DIEPER DUMB BITCH. aiight so thats that and mustacha commmes ovre ^ and akss whats wrong............i stare at her with the convictiation of a thousand dying suns and fuckign throw a kinata at her melon headed noggin.......dont ever approach me without wearing a dieper u stupid mustacha whore ill go princess peach on your bowsers castle with my mario fireball and waluigi my nustack in ur fuckint toadstoll with geno coming out of a pipe wearing a limp bizkit tshirt waving a black panther party flag with a poudn in the fucking air.............. she just fucking dropped.balling.tearing and i fucking licked her tears and drank them until i had to urinate and peed on her dieper absorbent diepers so she cudnt use them again adn sicne the rule is asd to fucka talk to me with dieper...i didnt talk to hre fro a fuckign motnh stupid whore mustachai.... DONT FUCKING REUQESBTEK MY ATTENOTOIN IF U RAOENOT GONOING TO GO THROGHW ETOWITH THE UFCKING MATTER OFAT HAND UR DUMB MSUTAHCA!........

discuss?

[uh-oh]

i've been doing this for ages on PR

except when i threw up on a chicks feet, i was drunk as fuck, not at the gym pretending to better my greasy self. SHOTS FIRED

but nah

today i woke up at 5:55 am, 5 minutes before my alarm which was disappointing. i had a RAGING BONER THO, and i was still in the half state of sleep where my AROUSAL was firing on all cylinders. i tried keeping my eyes half closed while searching around the net to find a ho who looked like the one in the dream i was having, i did, i beat off and then i realized it was 6:48. my sister was gonna be here at 7:15 to take me to work and i hadnt even made coffee yet. so i did that and got dressed and around 7:10 the coffee hit my GUTS and i had to BLOW ASS. so i did and luckily my sister didnt get here till after i was done. i went to work and first thing this morning i GASHED my pinky finger on one of the dual exhausts on this fucking DOPE 2 door box caprice i was working on. i was in a shitty mood cuz life in general so i decided not to do anything about it. no cleaning and bandaging i just dripped blood and let dirt and paint dust coagulate in it like a G. i did a bunch of boring shit at work, and got picked up by my sister and her boyfriend. her boyfriend was complaining about student loan people trying to get 550 dollars out of him a month. i was lol'ing inside like look at this dumb nigga went to school to get an extra rent bill lmao. nigga you do medical trancriptions or whatever and you went to school to be a video producer lmao. what a failure. coulda just been a failure and not be in debt. but word his life choices made me feel better, but feel worse for my sister for marrying such a dummy. but he's AIGHT. so then i got home and deep fried 3 chicken pattys with cheese and mayo, and i ate them while i was TYPING THIS.

DAY IN THE LIFE

bout to smoke some RESIN like a fucking CEO

should probably get a shower first tho and pour some alcohol in this cut on my finger so i don't lose my pinky to gangrene

[Diode]

yeah uhoh been doing this longer than bags tbh

[big baby]

dead @ rockateer dildo goblin. These taggers are funnier anonymous than they are when they post. lol @ the big baby ruined thread being the most prominently wack boarder here. BB

[Sharp]

lmaooo fuck

uh oh da GAWD

i just felt like making fun of bags after having to change his password back

[big baby]

uh oh is funnier in longer paragraph forms - but they post differently, (grammatically) they just both post stories, and bags using ellipsis because hes 12

[Fig]

But... bags ellipses.... add like.... character... ya know?

Short story league, tbh.

[Ghost1]

Lol I could listen to stories about mustachia for hours tbh

Read me all

Uh oh is a savage

Also lold @ sharps....HEY JAMAL

but ye a BB was my favorite

[Split]

how on gods green earth do you forget island

[Mustachia]

Originally Posted by big baby

ok bros i wAS LIKE YO

im saying tho

like ok a week aggo fuckin get a call frm m my estrnaged sister at 2am.... BITCH ITS FUCKONG 2AM IM PN NETCESS MAKIN A VIDOE MAG 4 MY BROZ & NEGLECTING MY FAMILY FOR WEBSITES LOLZ0RZ......anwyway the dumm bitch was like 'mustachio can u plz pay me bak the 659 dollers u owe me'... i pretend i was chinese and started asking her if she wuntTed pork fried rice with that or no... she said i kno its u mustachio stop playing around plz just pay me mY money stop hving saex with mustachia and hiring prosititutes.... IS AID BITCH DONT FUCKINA CALL MY PHONE AGAIN U BLACK DICK LOVING WHORE BAG FUCK U UR NOT EVEN MAH SISTA U NIGGER FUCKING SLUT SHIT CUNT I WUNDT EVENLET U BORROE MY DIEPER DUMB BITCH. aiight so thats that and mustacha commmes ovre ^ and akss whats wrong............i stare at her with the convictiation of a thousand dying suns and fuckign throw a kinata at her melon headed noggin.......dont ever approach me without wearing a dieper u stupid mustacha whore ill go princess peach on your bowsers castle with my mario fireball and waluigi my nustack in ur fuckint toadstoll with geno coming out of a pipe wearing a limp bizkit tshirt waving a black panther party flag with a poudn in the fucking air.............. she just fucking dropped.balling.tearing and i fucking licked her tears and drank them until i had to urinate and peed on her dieper absorbent diepers so she cudnt use them again adn sicne the rule is asd to fucka talk to me with dieper...i didnt talk to hre fro a fuckign motnh stupid whore mustachai.... DONT FUCKING REUQESBTEK MY ATTENOTOIN IF U RAOENOT GONOING TO GO THROGHW ETOWITH THE UFCKING MATTER OFAT HAND UR DUMB MSUTAHCA!........

discuss?

this what u do online?

he lyin'

[Ghost1]

I lold toooo hard when I seen the avy tho

Too

Hard


Yo edit looool lol

I can't even look at that avy without loling

[Witty]

so dead.

Someone tell my family i want to be buried with a picture of the fox.

[Fig]

shit