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06-07-2013, 10:31 PM
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Do what is right.
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 769
Rep Power: 954117   |
Smokin kush in flying carpet
God rap wearing halo's as tophats
Rollgrass mary poledancin, on pottracks Rappin' superbot, smoking harry's pot Turned my craft to a witchcraft, married hiphop Liplock, tongue action spittin magic Pen tactics, can't imagine, living addict Scribbling till I losed a fraction of a bone fragment I keep myself awake with hanging cold magnets Gotta keep my head up, faggets know my domes a weapon! So if my drive comes by go low as your hoes profession as for now i'm uninsipired so you can have that summer match But know if i was to buck 1 tire chances of a comeback would be that of negative do the math after this aftermath I'm leaving instruments, genius,master rap
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06-07-2013, 11:21 PM
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The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,025
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349678 |
This was pretty cool I dug the little flow you had going on
it seemed to lack a bit of flavor for me...the taste wasn't for me maybe towards the middle I felt that was when you caught on nice little drol..I believe I've seen better
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06-08-2013, 12:09 AM
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#3 |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 8,904
Battle Record: 27-22
Rep Power: 85899395 |
liked this a lot more than what you've put up in the past.
Do yourself though homie. u've showed you can flow/ arrange syllables, now do your thing with it Spread them wings feel me?
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http://split8.yolasite.com |
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06-08-2013, 12:29 AM
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#4 |
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Do what is right.
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 769
Rep Power: 954117 |
Appreciate guys.
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06-09-2013, 11:39 AM
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Don't believe the hype
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 572
Battle Record: 4-5
Rep Power: 0   |
This was erratic and each time you brought up a context or subject you abandoned it, leaving this feeling rushed and confused.
Like you bring up God, then the next line Harry Potter's weed (really ? is Harr'ys weed that dank ?) lol...only to abandon those to subs to create more undeveloped themes.... I liked the stagger, short flow and presentation, the strong suit of this piece. But with something this choppy (not ness. a bad thing) you really need to glue it together with a strong theme and context that does not abandon ideas in every line...na mean ? So walking away from reading this I just get a small glimpse that you are a bad-ass ? How so ? I got to believe it, not just read it. Take this as crit.
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What is public must be legit, fit for average consumption, don't forget. What is private is handled by pirates, prying loose profits from prosthetics. To tell the difference between: first remain unseen with a steady breath and hope, then listen to the cracks in the wall with a stethoscope. |
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06-09-2013, 11:43 AM
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#6 |
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Do what is right.
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 769
Rep Power: 954117 |
Theres is a content. the content is i'm smoking weed to write better and I write alot.
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06-09-2013, 11:45 AM
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#7 |
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Don't believe the hype
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 572
Battle Record: 4-5
Rep Power: 0 |
I aint trying to be the lemon here, but that escaped me and it's not my fault.
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What is public must be legit, fit for average consumption, don't forget. What is private is handled by pirates, prying loose profits from prosthetics. To tell the difference between: first remain unseen with a steady breath and hope, then listen to the cracks in the wall with a stethoscope. |
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06-09-2013, 11:49 AM
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#8 |
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Do what is right.
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 769
Rep Power: 954117 |
God rap wearing halo's as tophats
Rollgrass mary poledancin, on pottracks Rappin' superbot, smoking harry's pot Turned my craft to a witchcraft, married hiphop Liplock, tongue action spittin magic Pen tactics, can't imagine, living addict to the whole harrys pot was a lol metaphor on how weed makes me spit magical and instead of perfecting a craft i'm perfecting a witch craft. then the other lines were just about how i'm am addict of writting.
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06-09-2013, 12:50 PM
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#9 |
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Don't believe the hype
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 572
Battle Record: 4-5
Rep Power: 0 |
I see you.
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What is public must be legit, fit for average consumption, don't forget. What is private is handled by pirates, prying loose profits from prosthetics. To tell the difference between: first remain unseen with a steady breath and hope, then listen to the cracks in the wall with a stethoscope. |
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06-09-2013, 01:43 PM
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: I live in Florida
Posts: 4,706
Battle Record: 3-8
Rep Power: 55521416   |
I like how you spice up verse, it was cool. I enjoyed reading
this more than others. |
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06-09-2013, 02:13 PM
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#11 |
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Do what is right.
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 769
Rep Power: 954117 |
Beautiful u gotta tell me do you or dont have mental disability this is what sini keepz pming me
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06-09-2013, 02:14 PM
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#12 |
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Do what is right.
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 769
Rep Power: 954117 |
On some srs sht .
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