There's A Bunny In The Moon

[Mr. J]

I'm a champ at his best, smacking the vets
crashing the party when I start flashing this tech
yea you deep, but you sucka's can't splash in this depth
dippin' like I'm rammican fresh, handling flesh...
wrappin' it round this mannequins head, habit at best
when blood splatter all over your grandmas rug after
getting you pissed about it, I told you that it was just laughter
for fun, so who you gonna come after
owin' heart to me from what rafter?
like high hopes will get you past me, on a sidenote
I like ho's like you that are determined to use my flow
I know....it's all perspective and chance
Keep the dead body with me as I carress it and dance
you could see the fall before any legends advance
so everything off the top comes with my message attached
another lesson for class because where my profession is at
will lead them to break it down for me, like a confession at hand
I give...blessings to the damned, burdens for the weak
passing judgment to the fire, I'm a german with the sheets
Prometheus status, Phoenix or Atlas...determine the feat...
I'll hold this bitch up when I'm heated...only to leave a smile on her...








permanently

[Just Write]

Lol this had some flashes of brilliance scattered throughout. I did enjoy this but its hard for me to feed something that isnt directed towards a topic or a set thing you know?. Anyways for what its worth yea, this was ill. Stay up

[CopyPat]

damn. nice shit man. really enjoyed this. ur flow is gold. had enough good vocab and scheming to keep it interesting but not too much to make it cumbersome. well done. u had some really good wordplays too so props to that cause its hard to do both.

owin' heart to me from what rafter?

ooooooooooooooooooooooh snap!!



I liked original scheming man. i love seeing what dudes can come up with and this impressed me. stay posting i'll check ur shit out for sure. p.s. thanks for feedin my keystyle, much appreciated. check out my new one when u can

[Mr. J]

Thanx fellas bump

[Nigma]

I fully agree with @CopyPat (which made me realize I never fed his OM post lol brb) in termes of your rhyme scheme, it really made for a smooth and pleasant read. Deff above par in terms of complexity which is also a solid basis for any verse, and some of the subject matter was pretty dope too. Loved the image you began developing in this line "Prometheus status, Phoenix or Atlas...determine the feat.." Just feel that main thing this was missing was development of these images in the lines following, the stream of consciousness was very sporadic. Still enjoyed the read but thats something you can work on

[Mr. J]

Thanks bro...I feel as the solidified names they are
I didn't have to dig too deep for them but you know what the words mean to the world
Its all perspective depending on where your mind is
mine was lost here....ha...hahaha

[Mike Wrecka]

ok cool read.

it was a bit sporadic. it needed to focus more. and the content to me was kinda sophomoric. a little Eminem-ish from his Marshall Mathers LP. talkin bout killin bitches and stuff. dig deeper man. stuff like this isn't really worth much tbh. it wouldn't be something anyone would listen to on a track, and as far as reading it here it didn't do much for me. had a horrocore element, but if your gonna have no depth to the content the flow and structure (which wasn't bad) need to be better.

don't take it the wrong way, I just didn't really enjoy this piece and from the flashes you had I know you could do better. just not my cup of tea but I will be peeping future drops of yours.

[Loose Logic]

this had a nice scheme to it.. good structure.. read pretty smooth... nothing too mind blowing but I could tell this would sound dope recorded.. so I dug it.. keep dropping

[Mr. J]

Record? me? why thank you sir :D

[YDK]

Damn this had some hot hot points an some lukewarm spots. Flow was on point throughout an the transitions were smooth, most of the concepts an execution was dope but had a couple I wasn't feeling as much. Overall it was a nice piece bruv keep on dropping man

[Spoken]

spontaneous bruv.... nice assortion with metaphors honestly... some idead were like WOW and then others were like iight.. ok i see. but this was def. a nice smooth and real vibin piece right here fam and i can't say i hated this... i was bobbin' while reading this shit homie. props to you my dude on this...

[Flow]

This was real up and down for no hate but it felt lacking in direction - there was a scatter of nice concepts the flow was tight throughout was lacking in internals or a complex scheme/schemes but had a solid syllable count. All in all was very 50/50 butoverall it was a enjoyable read which is the most important - keep up

[Coup]

I think the mixed reaction to this piece is due to a underdeveloped theme or context. it was more av. joe swag and flow, flex and swoll attitude, which could stand alone but it really needs to find a niche to make it stand out and alone above the rest...

as far as the mechanics and actual read, this was hot and I think most of the feed back thus far has pointed it out, not being a chore to read...but was lacking in impression due to the theme being so had.

good drop thou cat.