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07-01-2017, 08:30 AM | #1 |
Allan o dywyllwch
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 163
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Experimental Knowledge
A bit of a short key to warm up for the AOWL...
The agency circuitry’s blatantly cursory Search has unearthed exploratory surgery The masonry’s bursary covered the lot Of the surgeons disturbing and coveted cost The problem of pain is most often the same - A forfeited mortgage and rotted remains A thoughtless campaign… How to win some more income But while I searched for pennies… King Solomon sought for wisdom My beggars belief was more a bargain for pity That led me to a church in the heart of the city My breathing was heavy while the Romanist priest Was piety appearing out of a showman beneath A show old and replete, that was shown on repeat Solely based on a chaste but a boneless belief Slowly fading to grey, he was tucked into shadows While he prayed to the saints of Augustine and Ambrose As for me, my confession was more of a question A nervous admission… If legends are made on the edges of graves… Why is it my hands are only dirty from digging? Last edited by Tha Pastor Reach Yeah; 07-01-2017 at 05:52 PM. |
07-01-2017, 10:31 AM | #2 | |
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Wow. I feel you. Excellent word choice on the subject. This is deeply profound. The last lines especially. Thank you.
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07-08-2017, 04:50 PM | #3 |
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
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last lines were killer. i'd love you to elaborate if you don't mind.
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Zack Wicks for president |
07-10-2017, 05:58 AM | #4 | |
Allan o dywyllwch
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 163
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Quote:
Really the thought came from the idea that there have been certain things done within the church setting by where people have been willing to make a sacrifice in order to help and get credit from it, whereas when I did exactly the same thing I got accused of doing it for selfish ambition. Therein lies the legend of the martyrs, and my own quite pathetic sitting at the edge of a grave with no more than dirty hands. The grave side setting was really a poetical over-exaggeration that looked really good in my head, and played nicely with the sacrifice aspect.
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Tha Pastor Reach Yeah aka Rev. George Whitefield |
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07-11-2017, 04:16 AM | #5 |
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This would have read perfect if it said "king solomon sought wisdom"
Collab or que Feed my stuff if you would please kind sir |
08-01-2017, 01:30 AM | #6 |
The Clown Prince
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when I first saw that you dropped something here I was like whaaat?
now that Ive read it, Im impressed to the point I must congratulate you. this whole presentation felt very shallow but was really intense. how you were able to blend the ending with the beginning is great. really thought that Solomon line was sick. if this isnt your first time here...my bad... i dont remember if you dropped something Ive commented on here >.> keep writing man
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09-16-2017, 12:47 AM | #7 |
death warmed over
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Hmm yeah was left wanting more from this like deadman said it had a dope endong nice verse and rhymea and that but i dont know what more was i really supposed to take from this piece anyways greatw writing bro ur sefinitely showing you know how to use that flex muscle bro...
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